I was recently discussing something with my fiancee and I was really surprised at his take on this issue.
I mentioned to my fiancee that I have done some crazy and possibly even stupid things in my past. I didnt tell him what exactly this statement related to, but he commented right away. He said, “I dont care if you have been with ten guys, it doesnt matter to me what you did in your past, what matters is now and the future.” I can tell you that my jaw dropped! For one, I didnt think he’d relate it to previous relationship with guys, and for the other, I was surprised he said what he did. I thought most guys would be very eager to know about a persons past relationship history, and wouldnt take to it kindly if it was found out they dated. Infact I wouldnt like to know that my fiancee had many past relationships. I suppose everyone is different though. I wondered why he was so calm about the whole issue, infact it made me wonder if he said that due to his own past, which he claims to have none. Either way, I take his word for what he said, and I expect him to take my word for what I say, but still say it was a rather peculiar remark he made all of a sudden!
How many of you would think the same towards your future spouse? Is past to be left in the past? No curiousity? Do people even believe other ppl nowadays? I find most people I come across just assume someone has had so many boyfriends/girlfriends in the past, which I find somewhat frightening, but what seems to be an ever-increasing trend.
Obviously I am very oblivious to the world around me at times.
smile
Learn to love yourself, then learn to love one-another
Munni, I hear you! Your fiance is probably being honest when he says he doesn’t have a ‘past’. A lot of guys don’t care about a girls past as long as she is faithful and true them after marriage. But then again it is frightening as to whether having kept yourself emotionally and physically for one person matters at all? I know that I for one would expect my husband to also not have had a string of relationships and tonnes of experience. I would appreciate him for that and he should also respect me for that. But then again, there aren’t very many ‘chaste’ guys around these days.
i guess you dont have to worry about anything…and what i see from your writing is that your fiancee is a very sensible person, and he surely likes u the way you are…no matter what ur past was…and i guess he also wants u to like him the way he is…regardless of his past.
I guess it depends on how you view yourself and how secure you are as a person, the way you see other peoples actions. And it changes with time.
The important thing is to have faith in the future and each other.
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Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT:
** Unfortunately, there aren't very many 'chaste' girls around these days either.
**
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Yeah....but why would 'un-chaste' boys need 'chaste' girls....the irony is: a lot of them do, which is so much of hypocricy...in your case Munni, even if your hubby-to-be had a past, at least he is not a hypocrite..
I met my husband 10 years ago and we finally got married last March. The past subject hasn’t ever come up. I guess he assumes that there were previous before him and I’m sure there were previous before me. I think if he wants to know, he’ll ask and I would just tell him, but if he doesn’t want to know, basically he cares about you regardless of your past. He sees you as who he likes and wants to be with no matter what happened, if anything, in your past. Good Luck and Congratulations.
I think I would like to know about the other persons "\past. I mean it doesn’t have to be like a life summary but just a general idea would suffice, because I wouldn’t be interested in miss “I’ve been around the block twice.” Shoot, I don’t have a past
Everything is present and will always be in the present. There is this phrase that a friend of mine said" “I date to marry” which totally cracked me up because if that would have been true he should have 50+ wives
As a young lady I would say there is "STILL" many pious young men out there. Not all guys are the same. If your 5 fingers are not the same then why think everyone is the same. I would just say that pious men are for pious ladies, pure men are for pure ladies and so on.
I think what was done in the past, should stay in the past. If one wants to know then ask the other person, but otherwise the past really doesn't matter. It is what you do at present time and in the future. Personally I myself would not want to know about my husbands prior relations, because I would feel like I am in constant competition with a previous person, and on the other hand, if I really knew about his previous relations,,,,, I might not have married him.....hehehe. Anyways, congratulations and happy marriage to you.