Re: your parents in old people homes??
there are no absolute answers in this case. what if your parent was so sick that you could not take care of them, i.e. you were not qualified to take care of them. In many cases people actually have on duty nurses who take care of the person.
Just because an elderly person is living with the children or grandkids, does not automatically mean he is getting taken care of.
What if god forbid your grandparents or parents are so sick or in a condition that you are not qualified to take care of them, whether or not you stayed at home. and what if you can not afford the expense of a fulltime nurse to take care of them.
Thats why speaking as an absolute that I would never do this or I would never do that does not really apply.
One would prefer that their parents/grandparents live with one and that one can take care of them, even if it means career sacrifice for one person in the couple, or bearing additional expense for nurses if needed and if affordable. But sadly you do not control circumstances.
things may happen, where one may have to re-evaluate what is the best way to take care of their elders, and in some cases the elders may be better taken care of in a facility that is specially tasked with taking care of them...who knows. One can only hope and pray that no such condition effects our elders where we are incapable to take care of them on our own.