I have just taken active parenting classes and before I tell you more details I want you people to tell me your parenting style. Here are 3 scenrios:
Your daughter is watching TV and you tell her to clean up ,she said after 15 minutes mama when this program will be finished. After 15 minutes when you come and tell her again to clean the room and she said why mama? You tell her because I said so and I am the boss. And you close the TV and she gets upset and rans to her room screaming mommy treats me badly.And you end up cleaning yourself.
2)Your child is watching TV and you tell her to clean up room and she said after 15 minutes mommy when this cartoon will be finished. And u nicely say ok you can clean it later.And then again after 15 minutes you come and say you didn’t clean the room honey , she said OK Mama I’ll clean with you but please help me and you said smiling ok I will definitely help u dear. And after 5 minutes of help your daughter said mama I have to go to restroom and you end up cleaning yourself.
3)Your child is watching TV and you tell her to clean the room.She said after 15 minutes mama, when this program will be finished. You said OK dear but when after 15 minutes you come and tell her again you didn’t clean your room she said “Why mama?” You tell her clean room is good for your health and it looks nice. But she goes to her dad “Mama is making me work” Dad said "Honey you have to do what your mommy told you.After that she comes back to you and say I’ll clean it later after this one more program. But instead you close the TV and tell her that if you want to watch the ending of program start cleaning. And she start cleaning without your help.
Which describes your style of parenting of the most?
three is ideal but i can see my self doing two also.. but in my scenario i will definitely not clean her room. She can cry, scream all she wants.. she will be the one cleaning her room:)
I have Optimum online lol!! So if they tell me "later", answer is no. I'll record the show and you can watch it as a reward for cleaning up! I have been known to be a pushoever and to give in at times, esp when stress is high but I KNOW that when I cave, there WILL be a price to pay. So I try to remind myself to stick to my guns, get things done and reward AFTER.
i ain't a parent but i wud weait till she finishes her movie and then we wud clean her room together even if she takes a break and then at the end u tell her...see! it ain't so hard to clean so plz next time u clean and that will make u and i a very happy person...and a big HUG!
^ I don’t think it’s just about the room cleaning, rather more about the unity between both parents… my girls have tried it on so many occasions, thinking that if i say no, papa will say yes… oh how they are mistaken.
I’m number 3 mostly, but sometimes number 1 comes out to say hi…
there is a possible 4rth scenario, an off shoot of 3rd one that I see myself doing if my daughter ever plays number 3 on me.
I will agree with her but tell her to come with me to her room. I will make her sit and aske her to tell me about her day while I clean her room. Maybe, maybe later I give her a loving lecture on how she is all grown up and should do her work, herself. But that will only be a lecture. I might do it again for her.
am I a bad father? I doubt about it. There is a fine line between spoiling your kids and provide them with emotional security where they know that they can count on their parents for anything without being judged or lectured.
I have to agree with TLK.
I often do what he does instead of any of the 3 options mentioned.
I will let her finish her program (becuase I don't like to be interrupted if I am doing something and I will give her the same courtesy) because the room can wait to be cleaned for another 15 minutes.
Then I will make her join me in the room while I clean up. Invariably she ends up either helping me or doing it while I sit and watch and keep her company. Sometimes she just needs a boost.
Hubby thinks that is spoiling her but I think she should be able to expect that much from her parents.
