This is going to be a long one so please; I would appreciate it if you would bear with me.
Almost 2 years ago I found someone over the internet, she is pretty, she is smart, she has the same educational background as I do and more importantly she has the same last name as I do which was part of the reason I bothered sending the friend request in the first place - yes it was a random request and no I don’t add random people on my Facebook account, this was the first and the last time I ever indulged myself in such behaviour -, 3 months passed with no response and I had pretty much forgotten about it and on my Birthday I got a notification on my phone - apart from all the Birthday messages - saying that this particular person has accepted my friend request which was surprising as it had been a while so I had assumed that she had probably ignored it completely but I guess she hadn’t.
A few months had passed without any interaction between us as I had never done something of this sort before so I was confused and at one point I had told myself that she will probably see this lack of interest and probably end up unfriend-ing me from her Facebook. But one day, out of the blue she said hi and I returned the favour, khair we talked for a while and I was amazed that this random person that I had never met is so keen about getting to know me, we chatted for about a couple of hours and then I apologized to her about never trying to start a conversation with her earlier and she really appreciated the fact that I was honest with her about this and on this note we ended our conversation and I told her that I’ll see her around and she was like sure.
A month passed since we had our first chat and she hit me up again, this time she was like kafi time hogaya hai so I thought I’d brush the dust off this conversation and say hi and I apologized for it, made up an excuse and then we talked, again she was really keen about knowing what I do for a living and who I am and how’s life like where I live, we talked after that for a couple of weeks before I felt comfortable asking if she had WhatsApp on her phone as the Facebook Messenger consumes a lot of battery running in the background (at least to my experience) and she kindly said no as she claimed that she did not have WhatsApp installed on her phone yet, which she later told me was a lie and that she didn’t feel comfortable sharing her phone number with me at that stage but she eventually did around a couple of weeks later and we started chatting on WhatsApp and the time just flew by, it had gotten to the point where we’d be exchanging upwards of 4000 messages a day, she would stay up all night and talk to me (the time difference between us is 5 hours), she would go to sleep only after I would tell her that I’m heading to bed.
Khair, we talked for around 2 months before she could open up about her past and I felt comfortable with sharing my past relationships with her, she really liked the way I think, and I was bewitched by the interest she would show in getting to know more about me.
Time passed and we had gotten really comfortable with each other and as a result I started to have feelings for her but only slightly as I knew the distance between us is way too much to take such decisions, especially since neither of us had ever seen in each in real life but I gave it a shot, I had known so much about her at this stage that it was impossible for me to resist telling her about my feeling which I eventually did and she was quite happy about the fact that I shared how I feel about her and in reply she said that despite all this distance I really like you, at one point she even told her younger brother about me and how she feels about me but there was a problem, I had told her very early on that since after my previous failed attempt at getting married my mom was pressurizing me to consider her sisters daughter which I declined for personal reasons - one of them being the fact that my cousin is 5 years younger than me, nothing wrong with it but I disapprove for reasons that I choose not to put down here -, I don’t know how this girl felt about this or whether me telling her about this in the first place was a mistake.
Whatever it may be but this topic remained stuck in her mind for the longest period, every now and then she would ask me whether I had decided and I would always tell her that there is no way I would say yes to this proposal and I finally did tell my mom that I have no intentions of marrying my cousin which my mom took well and Alhumdulillah that matter was taken care of.
Now, what happened next might be the beginning of how everything went horribly wrong
and how I’m still suffering.
I had a close friend. best friend in fact, I had known the guy for 17 years, we both would share stuff with each other as guys and we would talk about where our lives are headed and how we see ourselves in the future hence the reason why I told him about this girl that I had met over the internet and I told him how she made me get over my ex, he seemed quite pleased with it but he was not sure about what this girl was actually trying to do, so he asked me if he could profile her a little and I told him I that I wouldn’t like it but he did send her a friend request nonetheless, without asking me, I had to find out about this through this girl and since he was my best friend I told her that its fine the decision is up to you, she asked me of whether I knew that my best friend was going to do this or if he had asked me and I said no, so she said than she doesn’t see why she has to add him which pissed my friend off quite a bit and I was pissed off at what my friend had done.
Khair, I went back to chatting with this girl and of all the things I would never expect her to ask me, she asked me if in the future we ever met would I consider her hand in marriage? and my exact words to her were “In a heartbeat :)”, she was quite happy about it and told me that now she doesn’t have to worry about finding someone for herself and she can concentrate on her studies more.
During this time, my “best friend” had decided to find out about her the hard way, he made a fake account on Facebook, borrowed a few photos from a gora friend of his who was a gym buff and had the “killer body” that every girl in her late teens early twenties dreams about, and then he used that fake account to contact this girl and he kept trying until the point where this girl finally gave up and replied to him, he had it all planned out, he was “Jake Miller” an American defence contractor living in Japan and was interested in knowing more about Islam as he would like to convert, she being a Muslim fell for his lies, she basically started to ignore me, I’d ask if we could talk over the phone and she would make up excuses saying she has to talk to her sister in the US, whereas in reality she would be talking to my friend, days passed and it got to the point where I completely stopped talking to her and she didn’t seem to care much about the fact that the guy she basically asked to marry has not said a word to her in over a week.
She once made up a story and asked me that she has a friend who met this gora who wants to convert to Islam and would like to marry her friend and her friend is equally tempted to marry him but her friend doesn’t know how to tell her parents about it, I was quite supportive as I had no idea what was going on and I was being played by both sides her.
Khair, one day I open my WhatsApp to see when was the last time she was on it and I find out that I had been blocked by her which wasn’t a surprise to me since it had been almost 2 weeks since I last talked to her but I did feel compelled to at least send her a message over facebook to make myself clear as to why I had stopped talking to her which was simply because she had started to ignore me, so I did but what I found out later was probably the biggest shock of my life, it turns out as soon as my friend had gotten what he wanted from her (photos, address, phone number, location of where her dad works), he revealed himself to her and told her that he was in fact my friend whose friend request she had declined earlier, he basically threatened her that if she ever told anything about this to me that he would make her life a living hell, and the other reason why she blocked me was because she thought that my friend had already told me about all of this by now and that I might feel cheated on by her, so she finally opened up to me but only a little, I asked to see those messages between her and my friend, she said that she had deleted them which I doubt that she has, so I confronted my friend and asked him if I could see the messages and he kept on saying that if she shows you the messages I’ll show you the messages as well.
I didn’t bother with the messages after that as I was still living on the hope that this girl will eventually one day wanna marry me but I don’t know what happened after that, everything thing went downhill from there onwards, nothing was the same and I feel that it was all my fault, had I never opened my mouth, she would still be with me and I still blame myself for it.
I didn’t bother with the messages after that as I was still living on the hope that this girl will eventually one day wanna marry me but I don’t know what happened after that, everything thing went downhill from there onwards, nothing was the same and I felt that it was all my fault, had I never opened my mouth, she would still be with me and I still blame myself for it.
After this all fiasco, she went to the US for to attend a family function and during this time we had an argument and I said somethings to her that I shouldn’t have and to make up for that I had made up my mind that as soon as she would get back, I’d take a trip to where she lives and I’d do the honourable thing, get down on my knees and ask her marry me, I even bought her a ring, I still have that ring with me to this day, I can’t part from it for some reasons and one of them is the fact that I had her name engraved in the bottom inner bezel of the ring, spent quite a lot time and money on finding the perfect ring.
She got back to her country of residence, I tried to talk to her but she was quite mad at me for saying the things that I did and she wouldn’t talk to me, she wouldn’t reply to my calls, nothing, but with time she finally did and it was great I was happy and by now madly in love with a person I had never met in real life, lekin little did I know that she had lost those feelings for me but thats not what hurt me the most, it was the fact that she basically denied having feelings for me in the first place but I am absolutely sure that she did, no sane person would talk about things like we’ll make breakfast together in the mornings and we’d go out on movie dates despite being married and so on and so forth. She never kept our messages as she feared that her parents might see them so she would delete them with every chance she would get, I on the other hand have our entire conversation as I never delete anything of this sort. I sent her a few screenshots of what we use to talk about and she was like I don’t know but now I’ve left everything to Allah and that I don’t wanna lead you on so please don’t waste yourself over me. I tried everything I possibly could to try to make her change her mind but I guess I didn’t work.
To wrap it up, We’re basically friends now, even though she has asked if she could leave but I always make her stay because and as silly as it may sound, for some reason I have this gut feeling that she will come back to me.
Being in the Friend zone is not nice, she basically told me the other day that she wished she had someone, and despite what I felt, I stayed and tried by best to change her mood, to put a smile on her face, I also know that she likes someone, her friend introduced her to this guy living in Lahore and even though she tries to keep it from me, I can tell by the way she talks about him with me that she really likes him, my only complaint is that she basically denied having any kind of feelings for me but I still stick around that maybe, just maybe things might change, maybe that guy from Lahore might not be what she is looking for, and I hope that he isn’t even close to being the kinda man she wants, you can call me a douche or whatever but I’ll stay put on this lol.
Apologies for the ridiculousness of the post, I would like to get some feedback about who was at wrong here.
