If your child gets bullied, how would you deal with it? Would you want them to retaliate against the bully or try to make them a friend?
OR…if ur child was the bully, how would you deal with it?
I go through alot of articles and websites and it seems like most parents of bullies are in denial that their children could ever do such a thing. People talk about how their kids are bullied and beat up and the bullies are never punished by the schools and definitely not their parents…
Last year a girl commit suicide because she was being bullied so much in school; just today I read an article about 2 HS girls arrested b/c they made a fake facebook profile to make fun of someone. It makes me sad and upset about the kind of parents that are raising these kids…
I remember my childhood and in Pakistan if your weak you will get bullied part of the reason my Mother sent me away from the village when I was young… up in the mountains life was much harder by the time I came back south I was a Man.
As NomiCA said Martial arts helps but in some countries it’s illegal to practice Martial arts or teach them.
As Shak09 said Kids should be taught to stand up to bullies at a young age and reporting it to elders is a way of nipping it in the bud.
I have no child of my own, but my little Nieces and Nephews used to get picked on so I simply visited the homes of the bully’s and sat down for a little talk between thier parents.
Ussually if you talk to the bullies parents and tell them what a monster thier child has become they tend to dicipline them much better than you can.
However if the parents of the bully are bullies themselves then I hate to say it but it leaves me no choice but to reach for the :faris: then it’s time for the parents to get bullied
My daughter went through this bullying phase [age 8] a few months ago. We noticed she was very stressed coming back from school and getting ready to go to school, asked her what's going on, and she shared that this one girl whom she's known since kindergarden has been bullying her. Some examples: The girl would get upset at my daughter if she played with someone else at recess, or if she was playing with my daughter and someone else wanted to join in, she'd grab my kid's arm and threaten her that she'd break off their friendship if someone else played with her, and riding back in the bus, she'd not allow my daughter to sit next to her if she had played with someone else...
This was a big thing for my daughter as this was the first time she experienced a dominating attitude as such.
So hubby and I sat down with her and explained to her that friends don't stop friends from playing with others and that she shouldn't get intimidated by ANYONE, that she should go out and make new friends. We also explained to her that if she hasn't been impolite, chances are that the other kid will come around. It took a while but she gained self confidence in the process. Her mom and I also exchanged thoughts on this one day at the bus stop when her mom mentioned that her daughter had complained that MY daughter wasn't playing with her anymore. She added that her daughter has "jealousy" issues and is working on her to learn how to calm down. That was quite a relief.
^Lower self confidence is one of the biggest reasons. You try to create issues for/with others so you don't have to deal with your own problems. Better act tough than show the world how you feel. Also the environment a child is living can make a huge difference. It'll either make you tough for others or make you sensitive to other's feelings.
My own child is still too young to be bullied or bully anyone.
But what I do know is if someone bullied us siblings as kids. My parents never confronted the other child or their parents. I remember these two incidents at different places where we were at a public place & kept on waiting to sit on a set of swings & these other kids. They were siblings as well wouldn't give us the chance. We waited for a long time & when we asked them they simply refused to give up the swing. We went to our parents & our dad was like solve the issue your self. The kids are your age. Talk to them & ask them to give you your chance. At that time me & my brother just chickened out. I remember despising my dad thinking what sort of a father is he that he is not helping us.
But then the same thing happened somewhere else & we got the same response from our father. He won't let Ami get into this. His theory was they need to learn how to handle situations like these & no doubt that we did end up solving it ourselves. At the end of the day we had to learn how to stand up for ourselves if someone was doing wrong.
Depending on the situation this solution can maybe go wrong. But I love my dad for teaching us things this way.
My youngest brother who is only 11 is a little too smart for his age (MashaAllah) I wouldn't call it bullying but I have noticed he does sometimes acts too smart with other kids. At one point I saw him mocking someone in a conversation but in a way that the other kid didn't know. The other kid was too seedha. I talked to him about it & told him in a nice manner that what he was doing is probably not fully wrong since the other person didn't know what he was talking about but at the same time how would he feel if someone else did that to him. We had to have a long conversation because he obviously had comebacks but he did get it at the end.
I think in either situations its very important to actually sit with the child & have a proper talk. It makes a hell of a difference.
My niece is Mashallah the tallest child in her preschool...so you would think she would be the one that did the bullying...but its not. Ive seen her play with the other kids. There are children that hit, push, shove and get a little aggressive and she doesnt do anything back but say "dont hit me" or "dont push me" or "you have to share". Sometimes it upsets me and wish she would fight back because I dont like to see anyone pushing her around.
