I just experienced a total change of heart, going from two radically different positions in the space of just a few hours. The difference is wanting to do something bad earlier in the day and regretting it now.
I guess nighttime is when my inner police, my conscience kicks in and is at it’s best. It’s funny and sad at the same time, because I’ll change so much. I see so much bad in me, so many things I can improve on and I realize all those things at night but it’s hard to carry that into the rest of the day, just hard to keep things in perspective and see it’s not the “fun” and attractive things that matter in the long run but sacrifices and Islam: simple things like remembering to not gossip (alhumdolillah I stay away from it), being good to others, good to my loved ones, and so on.
I guess we’re always improving huh. But anyone else get that feeling at night when you’re all alone right before going to bed and you think, another day gone, I could have been so much better, here’s what I need to improve on the next day.
Sometimes I think, how did the Prophet manage it? Everyday without fail. I wish I was like him, may Allah give us all the taufeeq to be better Muslims Inshallah.
Tell me I’m not alone. And how’s your inner police keeping peace and order within you? And how happy with yourself are you at the end of the day? Are you the best you can be or are you stil moving toward that?
My inner police only kicks in when I am being vindictive or doing something with malice. If I am merely being manipulative or "messing" with someone, its fine as I always inform the person afterwards that I was just fooling around.
I never consider the actions of the day nor of the day before. I have made my decisions. I have made my choices. It is up to Allah to judge my intent and outcome. What is done is done. There is no changing that so why waste time being selfish?
Ahh but isn't the conscience by definition non-selfish? And isn't self-reflection necessary in the path toward betterment? I thought that formed one of the bases of asking for forgiveness and while making dua, actually analyzing what you did and recognizing it to be good/bad/whatever.
Conscience kicks in when you do something you feel is wrong. It doesn't have to be wrong but you feel it is. Now when an action is taken and you do not have anyway of correcting, self analysis is always good to lead yourself towards are more noble life style, but it does not help if you sit around and wonder how you could do things better. Personally I see that as a psychological way of making yourself feel better.
Now you should always analyze what you do. You should always look for a better way of doing things in the future, but I completely disagree with the idea that you should analyze something and worry about how you could have done it differently.
Analyze, solve the problem, remember not to do it again and then move on. A mere 10 minute exercise.
Sir Galahad-- You never consider your actions of the past? But how can you not? I mean even small things in everyday life send you back to another day, another place, when something else was happening- when somebody else was around.Its impossible not to think of what has been or what will be.
We might have made the right decisions, but somebody might have gotten hurt anyway.And when we do something wrong, its not that "whats done is done" --- ofcourse not. We have to think about it, we have to think about how it could have been made right-- its how we learn, its how we prevent future mistakes.
And when you sit around and think about how things could have been made right, its doing anything but making yourself feel better.In fact ,in a way --you suffer, you think about how you could have prevented the damage.I dont think its a way to ease your conscience.
Maniac--- Im the same way.I think its because at night we're alone, kind of isolated from everyone else.It's when we actually have time to think.Personally, I know that its at night that I think the most, its when I can sit and think clearly about what has happened and what might happen.When Ive done something wrong, it takes a very long time for me to actually get things into perspective.But may Allah make us all better people.
I don't go into self reflection mode every night but yes every once in a while I do reflect on the things I've done or said during the day that I regret, try not to repeat them. sometimes I succeed and at other times I unfortunately don't.
(I'll reflect on the run-on sentence above tonite)
My inner police kicks in every five minutes, when I think that I should have said this or that or whatever. It's so much easier ot write/post soemthing because ** usually ** I think before I say something.
I have better things to do than reflect on somewhere where I made a mistake. I will thinking about for 5 minutes and see if there is any way i can correct the situation. If there is not I am not going to bother worrying about it. I lead a very happy life, there are people with bigger worries and problems then the little annoyances in life.
Analyze, solve the problem, remember not to do it again and then move on. A mere 10 minute exercise.
If i need to apologise, I apologise. I need to make the "grand gesture" I do it. If the person is being overly sensitive and I do not feel I did something wrong, I do not bother.
But I am not going to waste time I could be using to work or hang out with friends being sorry for myself about the stupidity I am responsible for. I did something stupid I take it like a man and do what i need to do and then move on.
Taking 30 minutes to analyze a situation from an infinite amount of angles helps no one and is a waste of time.
