Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
^ Not saying this is the case here AT ALL
But sometimes there is a gap in interests between spouses and they have to find common ground and both have to put in the work.
People when given a choice are usually attracted to people of similar educational standards and IQ across all races.
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
Off course you are not intelligent. Look at your choice of spouse.
J/K :(
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
Oh the trials and tribulations of the imported wife.
He doesn't have a right to make you feel like you don't know enough. If he wanted to be with a woman who has had the education and experiences he has had, he should have married someone from Austrailia that was educated there, or someone who also works and travels like him. But that would have probably intimidated him, so he married you.
Not trying to insult you, but this has become a pattern in our community and it just makes you girls feel bad about yourselves, which is not right.
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.- Mahatma Ghandi
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
everyone is intelligent in their own domain.
PS:
When I tell my begum k "tum bhi ahmaq ho...zara si baat nahi samajh aatee", she replies "yes I m ahmaq. Jabhi tu aap sai shadi ki. Koi aqalmand larki tu nahi kerti" :(
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
There sure ought to be many things you know more about than he does. Talk about those things and turn the tables on him.
How difficult is it ?
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
Abra, we've ALL had moments where we've felt "stupid".....because we either didn't have much knowledge about a subject matter, or were careless/foolish about something........and your husband is no exception. Just like EVERY other person in this world.....your husband wasn't born knowing all the information that he does and all the things he knows how to do. He gained that knowledge through exposure to information, education, experiences, etc. If you feel that your general knowledge about a subject is inadequate, look it up...read up on it, or expand the range of programs you watch on TV, try to stay social as you learn about things from conversing with others, visit different places, etc. Again....nobody was born knowing all that they do.....it was learned/picked up along the way.
While it's important to try to enhance your knowledge and have a connection with your husband, it's also important that he show you respect and this should reflect in his words, actions, and body language. A person doesn't have to say something insulting (sarcasm, etc)....their body language alone can make someone feel like crap. And if he is behaving in this way....then I don't think there's anything wrong with you letting him know that he needs to stop doing that as it's hurtful.
As Jaanwar had said earlier....marriage should be a mutual effort. The responsibility to connect with your spouse and better your marriage is not only yours.....he has it as well and respect is a huge part of it.
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
Oh the trials and tribulations of the imported wife.
He doesn't have a right to make you feel like you don't know enough. If he wanted to be with a woman who has had the education and experiences he has had, he should have married someone from Austrailia that was educated there, or someone who also works and travels like him. But that would have probably intimidated him, so he married you.
Not trying to insult you, but this has become a pattern in our community and it just makes you girls feel bad about yourselves, which is not right.
Moral of the story: it's all the man's fault. He can't handle "strong" women.
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
Yeh, they shouldn't have their mama's pick them out a girl if they have certain expectations beyond looks.
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
Yeh, they shouldn't have their mama's pick them out a girl if they have certain expectations beyond looks.
Characterizing any mismatch of intelligence (or knowledge) as acquiescence on the part of the OP's husband to his mother, is awfully presumptuous. The OP mentioned herself that her husband has not explicitly mentioned this as a problem to her, yet you and PCG assume that he's not happy. In fact, it is the OP who wishes to improve her general knowledge. Instead of blaming her husband, the advice should be directed at helping OP.
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
all i read is blah blah blah.
(p.s. she's opened threads about how he goes ages without talking to her. and it's an arranged marriage. if she wants to improve herself, go do it, why open a thread crying about something that might be in her imagination.)
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
I kind of agree with PCG's impression though, it seems like he's the abroad educated guy who married a "gharelu" girl, but that doesn't mean it has to be bad! My advice, you need to develop your own interests, so you can bring some new knowledge to the table, and also not feel so insecure when he talks about his interests.
Also, don't compare cooking/running-the-house knowledge to what he knows, he'll just dismiss it as an unimportant, easily acquired skill, and it actually is immature and desperate to do so. You need to turn off the TV, get out of the house, make intelligent friends, and not feel so dependent on his impression of you, because that fuels the behavior even more. It doesn't have to be a competition of who knows more, it's more like you have your interests and knowledge, he has his, and you both are confident and comfortable. You can join a forum where people talk about politics/literature/something ACADEMIC (i.e. not Life1) and exercise your mind, learn how to discourse intelligently. Biggest thing you need is CONFIDENCE! good luck!
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
He's stupid to think you're stupid - he can nicely explain things to you if you haven't heard of them. I hope he is not condescending or disrespectful. You have to maintain your self esteem and not allow a man to put you down. You might feel better if you catch 5 minutes of the news on tv every day and ask him his opinion on what's going on in the world. Try that - watch the news for 15-20 minutes and at the end of the day say "oh did you hear so and so happened..."
Re: Your husband thinks you aren't intelligent enough?
He's stupid to think you're stupid - he can nicely explain things to you if you haven't heard of them. I hope he is not condescending or disrespectful. You have to maintain your self esteem and not allow a man to put you down. You might feel better if you catch 5 minutes of the news on tv every day and ask him his opinion on what's going on in the world. Try that - watch the news for 15-20 minutes and at the end of the day say "oh did you hear so and so happened..."
:D
Re: Your husband thinks you aren’t intelligent enough?
^ 