Your help needed

[lipstick]

@mall

Plusha meri jaan u r so in denial. i agree with all the posts here more than a hundred percent. all of them are abs rite!!! listen i had in some other thread “marital abuse and emotional pandering” mentioned abt a v close friend of mine who was slapped and verbally abused at pre mariage and after marriage beaten up like an animal and said so many filthy abuses to her and her family that i wudnt even dream anyone in life wud hear. i see her in u in so many ways yar. she was also in love with him for sum yrs and despite his mother’s disapproval and girls family NO interest, they went ahead and got married. exactly like YOU, she said theres no lookin back. i dun understand even now how she cud even marry him when the signs were there. yeah, she was BLIND!!! she had also done sum physical stuff with him that she shudnt have been doin and they both regretted it but continue doin it for more than 2 yrs i guess. so she was BOUND to marry him cus they didnt consider themselves worthy of someone else. do read my post in that thread.
bottom line, i KNOW, its hard… i KNOW itll b painful, i KNOW its not a gud idea but trust me i ve seen my friend now all she dus is bang her head and cry literally every single day why she married him. honestly i m happy she has me or else she wud have had a nervous breakdown i swear. she opens her heart to me and as mch as i try to help her, i cant help thinkin wots her future gonna b like? shes married almost 3 yrs but nothin is workin out. out of 365 days maybe merely 10 days shes happy with him the rest with wailing and screaming and cryin and all. i dun want that to happen to u or anyone for that matter. like u she also used to cry with the thot of livin without him and all but those things are timely honey, its soooooooooooooo mch better to cry NOW, then later when u will have no way to turn back. yeh mat kaho ke u cant turn back, u dunno the meanin of that. ask those women who are married and really have no one to turn to. i just pray u dun end up being like my friend, cryin ur sockets out, on the way to the hospital. Allah tumhe apne hifz o aman mein rakhay. please b kind to urself. u deserve more respect than u actually think.
ive realised in my 26 yr experience, love is imp but MORE than that respect is the most imp thing in a relationship. with respect, love will come too. but its not love if u cannot respect ur own spouse. ur bf’s attitude now is the best predictor for ur future remember that.

Gosh… I feel so sorry for ur friend. Thank God she has someone like u to turn to at least.

Plusha I respect the fact that u have been in a relationship and u dont wanna walk away after 6 yrs but u need to see this from another point of view. At the moment u r the one doing everything to try and pls him and take his abuse etc while he sits back safe in the knowledge that the rishta is being fixed up n soon he will marry u. Whats to say he wont go one step further after marriage and hit u? He’s treating u like this and ur not even engaged or married what will happen when ur fully his? How will he treat u then? U really need to do something to make him realise that his behaviour is out of bounds. A temporary break is a good idea. U need to transfer the pressure onto him. Maybe then he might realise what he will lose if he carries on the same way. If u decide to go on a break then u need to be strong and stick to it. U keep saying that uv been with him for 6 yrs but do u really wanna spend the next 60 years in the same condition (or maybe worse after marriage)