So how did your inlaws welcome you into the family? did ur BILs SILs MIL FIL etc take the initiative to make you feel welcomed? did they always try and talk to you first instead of you having to initiate conversation etc. ?
in my experience my BILs and SILs dont talk to me at all and havent even added me on any social networking sites like facebook. whenever i visit my inlaws home, they barely say a word to me. i feel like i have to do all the work to develop a relationship but as the new girl coming into the fam i feel like i am not supposed to make such effort, it not very feminine lol. what do you all think? i am not married but im engaged but still i feel like just because im not married yet doesnt mean they act like strangers.
Re: your experience being "welcomed" by your inlaws
if they dont talk to u u dont talk tot hem etiher .. just talkt ot the guy .. but if he tells u to go n talk tot them or call them then do it .. otherwise just go about ur business .. dont think bout it or take it too seiroulsy .. this stuff is haooening everywhere .. not just u
Re: your experience being "welcomed" by your inlaws
I thought you are asking about welcome in in-laws house.
Next morning of wedding when we went to My MIL house everyone acted like they didn't notice I was there..Mil was busy in watching tv..jhetani was busy in kitchen and other house chores...
I was walking to the kitchen for water or if I wanted tea.
Re: your experience being "welcomed" by your inlaws
The day after my wedding, when we went to my inlaws (from the hotel), everyone (including extended family who had come from overseas for the wedding), except for MIL and FIL, had gone outlet shopping for the day. So we just had lunch together at home, and then we were all really tired from the wedding so we all went for a nap. My husband and I were going to be leaving in a week for another country (where my husband works), so we had a temporary room at their house. When we went to the room it was decorated with candles and rose petals, which I thought was really nice.
After our baat paki the year before, no one from my in-laws added me on facebook, but my oldest naand would email me daily at work about wedding planning. And then after our official engagement party, 2 of my naands added me on facebook. After the wedding, my 3rd naand (who is still a teenager) added me, and my naands husbands added me as well. I had a good experience being "welcomed" by them. They are a lively bunch anyway, so it was an easy transition.
As for your case, are your sils and bils alot younger? I find that they have a harder time opening up and making conversation. Or maybe they are just shy. Dont fret, its only the beginning....as they get used to you and you get used to them, people will start talking, and becoming more friendly.
Re: your experience being "welcomed" by your inlaws
Focus more on your relationship with your husband. Because at the end of the day, it only matters how the relationship is between you and him. You don't want a great relationship with your inlaws but you don't get along with your husband. My hubby literally has no family where we live or in Pak.. it's so just pretty much me and him. At first I felt sad because I wanted more of a family for him but in these cases you yourself are the end all be all for him. In a way its awesome because whatever money he has and what he does will be solely for you and your family.
Re: your experience being "welcomed" by your inlaws
Woman u are only engaged... Not a member of the family... They dont havta do anything in regards to u.
My in laws didnt bother with me and we didnt bother with my bhabi...the only times we would talk was for eid, new yr, ramadan ..bday etc... Or wedding planning. Khalas.
Nowif after the wedding they still dont bother with u.. Well.. It may just be better like that eh?
Re: your experience being "welcomed" by your inlaws
well in todays day, that is something you expect. ESPECIALLY when u are commenting on the same things they are and they see ur name. yet still dont want to add you. i just dont get it. i guess im just super friendly.
Re: your experience being "welcomed" by your inlaws
and ESPECIALLY when youre going over there house all the time. when they add every other flippin person on the planet it can get annoying. forget facebook, when ur there and they dont talk to you just sit there acting like they have to..it pisses u off. you would think after 10+ visits they would show some sort of friendliness.
Re: your experience being “welcomed” by your inlaws
To be honest, complaining about them not adding you on facebook is very silly. Because it doesn’t really matter. It’s just a stupid website. It shouldn’t define your relationships. So don’t let it get to your head!
Now let’s come to the point of them not talking to you when you visit. You are not even a part of the family at the moment. They treat you like a guest and one doesn’t go about yapping non-stop infront of a guest who will in near future become the daughter in law. Its all about giving respect and letting you adapt. Maybe they think if they talk too much or be over-friendly, you will freak out? Because trust me, some girls don’t like over friendly BIL’s and SIL’s. They think its inappropriate for the to-be in-laws to behave that way.
So just relax and go with the flow. Atleast wait for yourself to be part of the family. If things still don’t work out God forbid, life1 is the place for you.
Re: your experience being “welcomed” by your inlaws
Why are you going to their place if they are blanking you I’m engaged too if they treated me like that i’d have a problem and a half, forget me my parents would throw a fit…
Re: your experience being "welcomed" by your inlaws
thoughts - enjoy the time u are not married. live it out with ur friends and family and keep touching base with the inlaws. its ok if they didnt add u or anything, that's all good.
experience - ^^ above was coming from experience as well. post rukhsati also i did make more of an effort and that effort was instantly reciprocated. u dont split hairs when it comes to family, his or ur own. who cares who makes the effort first? as long as it is made and reciprocated. in my experience, post rukhsati, everyone becomes way more relaxed and friendly.
I’m engaged too if they treated me like that i’d have a problem and a half, forget me my parents would throw a fit…