Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

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…with scissors. The child is around 9/10 yrs old. How do you approach the situation?

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

whats done is done. Tell them never to do it and explained he ruined the picture because of that. Ask mama or dada before doing anything

OR

just give him a nice thappar which he will remember forever

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

easier said than done mr. single dude :P. I definitely did not give the child a thappar since i'm trying to steer away from disciplining in that way but I was really close to it when the answer was "what's the big deal, I just cut off a small piece of it" I could feel the smoke coming out of my ears. This was a baby picture that I might not have a digital copy of.

I see other kids that listen immediately when they sense their parents are angry and keep quiet. This little one keeps on talking rubbish and I am trying my hardest to keep cool by punishments like, I taking away the ipad, tv time but the rebellious age is coming up and i'm scared about that time and what I can do to stay cool and do my best as the caretaker

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

Show ur emotional side, ur child should know what emotional value the picture had..maybe even tell ur child the memories u have with it and why u r so heart broken about it being ruined. Your child needs to realize that actions need to be thought through otherwise they can hurt someones feelings!

Sit ur child down and share how u feel & let ur emotional side flow a little.

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

Oh and cry a little if u need too to explain ur kid that ehat he did really hurt you! Kids sometimes think parents are made of steel & no matter what they through at them they will catch & parents do exactly that..they deal with whatever is thrown their way but sometimes show them the weaker side of you or rather the more emotional side. Maybe then they wont act like brats! Good luck

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

yea emotional black mail, but my mom didn't start that on me that early. Jeez, new generation is way ahead .

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

Looks like the boy didn't know the significance of what he did. So it is best to explain to him why it was so important. But I wouldn't burden him with too much information wrt how much impact it has had on you. He might really feel terrible.

OR

Trip him.

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That's too old to for a spanking, and besides that... spanking shouldn't be a reaction punishment. Defo show some emotion though. Don't let it be shrugged off. Show/Tell ur kid how important the picture was.

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

Agreed, too old for spanking but enough to have a mature conversation just going off of my nieces and nephews personalities in that age group. Explain how important it was to you and why it can't be replaced.

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

Emotion does need to be shown so that sensitivities remain intact.
Set a punishment that suits the situation. I've never been a proponent of taking away privileges unless they are really significant; kids of this age know that the situation is temporary and that they will eventually have their toys, etc back in their hands so they easily wait it out.

Definitely have a mature conversation focused not necessarily on what he did but the impact that it had on you. Let me say that again.....not what he did....but how his action is irreversible and the photo irreplaceable. Then talk about how his response was disrespectful and flippant considering he's old enough to see that you took the situation very seriously.

At this age the conversations need to be more focused on ideas and broader learning than just "things" and "events".

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

A nice zannaaty dar chappaiR ... that what my mama would do with me... this strategy is not good.

You can not do much with the kid who destroyed photo. You can protect your valuables and keep them out of the reach from kids.

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

When I was young I had done something irreversible and what my parents did was give me a disappointed look. The rest of my life was spent trying to never see that in their eyes.

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

probably because by nature you are a person that is sensitive to begin with. we grew up the same way…petrified of “the look”. :cb:
OP mentions that her son did not show any remorse…in fact he questioned her position.

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

well...what is precious to us adults may not be to kids / teens and that would explain why he is remorseless as well..

I would recommend you have a introspection session with him - why did he do that , what this means to you and why he should not repeat this kind of things.

It happened many times with me where I judged too soon

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

Yeah. Condition him that way. When his wife rolls along and uses the same tactic on him against you, don't complain.

On the topic, just scan all those old pictures ( whatever you have left ). Scanners are very inexpensive and these memories are too precious.

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

Based on what u are saying I guess desi moms believe in ZERO accountability in that case..

And since when is understanding ur wife's feelings a bad thing? We all want a husband that is sensitive to their wife's feelings but dont want our sons to become those men in fear of their wife manipulating them against their own parents (Read: Mom)

I say we need to snap out of the ghisi piti desi saas/bahu mentality. Parents should instill good values without being insecure of where they will stand in their lives 20yrs later because the truth is if you do the first part sinceriely the second half will just follow through..

Im honestly amazed how someone who is probably a wife herself generalizes that 20 yrs later a woman might enter her sons life to use 'tactics' on him. To genralize & predict something that isnt even the near fuyure is a little bizzare for this day & age dont u think?!

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

mmmm-hmmm

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

OYMWA is a wife? :eek:

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

Police nu bulavo. Ik raath thaneh de vich guzarlaveh! Last time i was there they did not even give me a blanket! Just a cold cement bed… :meeno:

I can relate to this. :frowning: :alhamd: I was able to hide the above incident from them…

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Re: Your Child cuts a big piece of a priceless,irreplacable photo

:rotfl: i think he’s as shocked as you Sara! thats probably why all he could muster was a “mmm…hmmm” ehh @OYMWA behn?? :smiley: