my younger sister is “dating” this guy from college. It’s pretty serious, he’s pakistani, rich and very educated so my parents basically love him. they are planning an engagement in December. I am not jealous of her, but i don’t know, i think things are moving too fast/the order is wrong. everyone else seems fine w/ so i don’t want to be a drag, but i kind of feel left out and misplace from all this happiness. I kind of hate whenever he’s with our family, but i put on this act that everything’s all good. i’ve tried to tell my parents about my feelings, but they are like u r jealous u should be happy for your sister. . . any advice - i don’t know why i feel so lonely and left out. I am not married, and am not really in a rush to tie the knot. i think my sis is unprepared for such a big commitment, but then again who am i to judge. . .
Unless if you find something spacificaly wrong with him you do need to put on an act for your sister's happiness. I think without realizing, you are jealous, and its okay to be its just human nature! Inshallah you'll find someone also, but until that time you will feel this for a while. Don't take it so hard on yourself, but think of it in the sense, you wouldn't be happy if he was treating her bad, so just thank god that she found someone good!
Also since your the older sister, you will feel like this, its a given, because thinking in numbers you should get married first, but its not your time yet! And remember, ALLAH does not like jealously, so try to refrain from it. :)
Re: younger sister's relationship - mixed feelings
Could be that you're the older sibling so a little over protective.
keep you're eyes and ears open
Re: younger sister’s relationship - mixed feelings
Why don’t you talk to her about how you (and she) feels? Ask her how she can make such a big decision at a young age and be sure of it etc. If you’ve done this already, and it hasn’t got you anywhere.. then I dunno, is it something about her bf that makes you feel like this? Because if you see nothing wrong with him and his family, then just try and be happy for your sister because she and your parents are so happy and sure of what they’re getting into.. maybe you only feel like this because she’s younger then you and it feels odd for her to be so sure about marriage etc whilst you aren’t? Or your just feeling reallyyy protective because she’s your lil sis? I really have no idea.. I’m just assuming because I don’t actually know what your r/s is like with her.. But see if you can talk to her and try and accept her relationship as well as be happy for her. I wish you all the best 
Re: younger sister's relationship - mixed feelings
what is it that you don't like about that guy?
Re: younger sister's relationship - mixed feelings
How young is young?
I remember 'freaking' out when I learnt my younger sister was 'dating' a boy. I wanted to slap her silly after I had hacked into her FB account and stalked the heck out of this boy.
I am very very protective of my siblings, I spent my teenage years raising them and thus feel it is my 'parental' right to protect them, even from themselves.
I do remember shouting at her, but I didnt slap her daft, thankfully she saw sense soon afterwards.
I say stalk him. If you have a gut feeling...follow it. Stalking is allowed. Thats why MySpace, FB and Google street view was invented. I'm being very serious. I know it is an infringement on their right to privacy, but il be damned if anyone harms them when I am still alive.
Wow...so filmy am I today.
^ she's 21
there's nothing glaringly wrong about him. He doesn't talk much around our family though, and i kind of want to u know, get to know who my future bil is, but he's not very open. I dunno, i guess i was expecting some indian movie awesome bil/sil relationship, but he's kind of reserve and only talks to my sister or my parents (only when he's asked something by them though). It's weird - i mean you guys have also mentioned that i should talk to her and ask her if she's serious. I have and she's like yeah, i like him, but then this other time she was like oh he can be replaced. that kind of flip flop response confuses me - like doesn't she realize this is a life decision!!! i thought my parents would be a little more hesistant about accepting him, but once they realized that he was educated and rich, they don't have a problem. to give u an idea, my dad is super conservative Pakistani dad and he told me he "loved" this guy - he's met him like 5 times.
i don't know, i am trying to tell myself just to be happy for her, and iA all will work out, but then i kind of feel like i've taken a back seat to my sister's bf, and my family and i barely know this guy. . .
excellent! i have 4 younger siblings…so i know exactly how u feel! 
Re: younger sister's relationship - mixed feelings
how can a guy be 'very-educated' when still at college?
Re: younger sister's relationship - mixed feelings
Is your sister happy with her life? As in she has a good social/academic/family life?
how can a guy be 'very-educated' when still at college?
hmm good point
yeah she's happy, but she's coming off a big break up, so as u can imagine, i am a little skeptical that she's found her 1 true love so quickly - but hey it could happen.
@ amir_pindi: he's in this accelerated special program in college, only for really strong students, he'll graduate earlier than expected too . . .
Re: younger sister's relationship - mixed feelings
i guess i shouldn't have said "educated" b.c he hasn't graduated yet, but he's really smart and talented
Re: younger sister's relationship - mixed feelings
Could it be a case of jumping from the flame into the fire?
I don't know man. I am very cynical about love, especially 'young love'.
You ought to wait for somebody who is a little more level headed to advise you.
Re: younger sister's relationship - mixed feelings
i guess you yourself really cant do anything about this..it relaly depends on your parents liking him so much. why DO they like him so much? aside from the education and money (which i hope isnt THAT imp to your parents)..have ur parents met his parents? do they know his family history, background, all that stuff? maybe u should let them realize this....that they are not just marrying the guy, but the family as well....
yeah she's happy, but she's coming off a big break up, so as u can imagine, i am a little skeptical that she's found her 1 true love so quickly - but hey it could happen.
And we have found the answer to your "weird" feeling. Bingo.
Re: younger sister’s relationship - mixed feelings
Quote:
Originally Posted by Resham http://www.paklinks.com/gs/images/buttons/viewpost.gif
yeah she’s happy, but she’s coming off a big break up, so as u can imagine, i am a little skeptical that she’s found her 1 true love so quickly - but hey it could happen.
hmm…so hes the rebound guy?? hey, did u mention how long they’ve been dating?
[quote="Resham, post:15, topic:202261"]
yeah she's happy, but she's coming off a big break up, so as u can imagine, i am a little skeptical that she's found her 1 true love so quickly - but hey it could happen.
theres your answer.
i woudlve thought you were subconsciously jealous.......maybe you are. how old are you by the way...
How young is young?
I remember 'freaking' out when I learnt my younger sister was 'dating' a boy. I wanted to slap her silly after I had hacked into her FB account and stalked the heck out of this boy.
I am very very protective of my siblings, I spent my teenage years raising them and thus feel it is my 'parental' right to protect them, even from themselves.
I do remember shouting at her, but I didnt slap her daft, thankfully she saw sense soon afterwards.
I say stalk him. If you have a gut feeling...follow it. Stalking is allowed. Thats why MySpace, FB and Google street view was invented. I'm being very serious. I know it is an infringement on their right to privacy, but il be damned if anyone harms them when I am still alive.
Wow...so filmy am I today.
my oh lord.. we're the same. even my parents aren't as strict with my siblings as I am. I practically banned my sister from using most of the internet through most of her teens. been there done that kind of thing :\
i guess i shouldn't have said "educated" b.c he hasn't graduated yet, but he's really smart and talented
dont worry resham..i can understand its not jealousy...
do Istkhara for your sister...and when u will get a +ve answer then you will feel fine with everything..