Are younger moms - in our culture I'd say the girls who are married at 22 or earlier - without going to college or some cases no education - are they just not able to teach their kids as much as women who are minimum college graduates (bachelors) ?
Is it two mutually inclusive conditions here? 22 and under as well as without a college degree?
Because don't most ppl graduate by the time they are 22 anyways? Plus finishing a degree after getting married is not really unheard of.
Re: Younger Moms
PCG, I am not sure
What socio economic group you are discussing. My observation is from middle class families and above. They do make sure their girl get a bachelor's degree before getting married/by the age of 22.
Younger Moms
My grandfather was a cop but my grandmother was married at 13 and never went school. She had 10 children all in highly professional fields. My Mamu who became a doctor used to be beat out of the house every morning to go to school. He was the least interested but became the most successful out of the 10 children.
Re: Younger Moms
in olden days most women were getting married at an early age, were not educated past grade 6-10 or even less and had a large number of children [up to 10] but they were good as wives and mothers.
my mom got married when she was 16, had no education, bore 9 children...alHamdolillah, we all turned out to be ok and alHamdolillah all of us received higher education, in spite of her early death at age 45.
Hopefully they won’t end up resenting me. One can only hope so.
Younger Moms
Parentinf takes enormous devotion. if any parenr does it for the sake of Allah then regardless of degree then a woman gives it her all. It takes enormous sacrifice, dedication, luck and of course Allah's Fazal for successful offspring. There is no set formula as the posters have all said. It also takes a village to raise a child. Strong family support of grandparents, aunts and uncles also helps tremendously.
Re: Younger Moms
If given the choice to pick one
Less educated very beautiful girl
Or
Highly educated normal looking girl
I would choose highly educated girl
Not only because she can be a better mom but also a better wife ...
Sorry I tend to bring topic of spouse search in this thread ...
Younger Moms
Not really. My aunt(chaachi) has a bachelors in science where as my mom has An AA degree(14) but still I always see my cousins complaining how their mom don't give them time and want them to be the way she wants which is not right. Parents have their rights but kids should get their own freedom as well which we have from our mom. I'm not comparing the two cuz she's a wonderful women too but it's not education that matter it's the time and the efforts you put in plus your thinking is the biggest thing that matters :)
Re: Younger Moms
if you have good morals and values then you can teach the same and transfer those good values to your kids with or without the college degree.
Re: Younger Moms
love for children (yours, your maids, neighbors, relatives, animals, etc) has nothing to do with how much education you have earned.
Re: Younger Moms
There are no hard and fast rules in life but in contemporary age, education brings confidence and help improve self esteem. I would like to believe that confident moms will likely raise better, confident kids.
Girls must get educated, preferably to a professional level.
Re: Younger Moms
My only did her 10th because my maternal grandfather when she was only 15 and being the eldest sister in the family, she left her education because all the household responsibilities fall on her because my nani got seriously ill. Anyways the way my nani brought all her 9 children without her husband with good morals and family values and same way my mother brought up us so I'm really proud of both of them, and what I see nowadays, highly educated moms are no way better than the old moms without having enough education because degrees never makes any person a good human being and a better mother.
If I am unmarried and given a chance to pick between two equally great ladies, one being high school dropout and one with college degree, who do you think I would pick?
As Shawn mentioned, educated parents are not the deciding factor, but education of mother contributes in upbringing. Every mother, illiterate or PhD, is going to raise her kids with the same love and care, but if she is educated then she would have this extra edge of confidence and great self esteem, and she would be able to pass that to her kids.
If education was not important then our mothers, especially the ones who were not very educated, would never emphasize on our education. They educated us, because they knew what is that they are missing.
With all due respect to everyone, biggest difference that I have seen between educated and not so educated mothers is when they become saas, especially of a girl (means they married thier son off to a girl). I have clearly seen the difference between the amount of insecurities kick into a woman of less education after her son got married vs into the one who has higher college degree.
Re: Younger Moms
If I am unmarried and given a chance to pick between two equally great ladies, one being high school dropout and one with college degree, who do you think I would pick?
As Shawn mentioned, educated parents are not the deciding factor, but education of mother contributes in upbringing. Every mother, illiterate or PhD, is going to raise her kids with the same love and care, but if she is educated then she would have this extra edge of confidence and great self esteem, and she would be able to pass that to her kids.
If education was not important then our mothers, especially the ones who were not very educated, would never emphasize on our education. They educated us, because they knew what is that they are missing.
With all due respect to everyone, biggest difference that I have seen between educated and not so educated mothers is when they become saas, especially of a girl (means they married thier son off to a girl). I have clearly seen the difference between the amount of insecurities kick into a woman of less education after her son got married vs into the one who has higher college degree.
I completely agree. In a generic, hypothetical situation your post is 100% right, however, I believe this thread was started in a completely different context, hence the responses.
Re: Younger Moms
If I am unmarried and given a chance to pick between two equally great ladies, one being high school dropout and one with college degree, who do you think I would pick?
As Shawn mentioned, educated parents are not the deciding factor, but education of mother contributes in upbringing. Every mother, illiterate or PhD, is going to raise her kids with the same love and care, but if she is educated then she would have this extra edge of confidence and great self esteem, and she would be able to pass that to her kids.
If education was not important then our mothers, especially the ones who were not very educated, would never emphasize on our education. They educated us, because they knew what is that they are missing.
With all due respect to everyone, biggest difference that I have seen between educated and not so educated mothers is when they become saas, especially of a girl (means they married thier son off to a girl). I have clearly seen the difference between the amount of insecurities kick into a woman of less education after her son got married vs into the one who has higher college degree.
a bit of a generalisation there.
I have uneducated mils being just as beautiful.
I hear you, when you say that if you were given a choice between an uneducated girl and an educated girl, you would choose the educated one. But then again, that is your personal preference. And also, dependant on the the society we live in (and the era).
Go back a few decades, or just go back one if you wish, it wasnt the case. Educated girls were seen as women who would not stay at home to raise a family. Too independant. Too dominating. No mil wanted a dil like that.... heck not many would want one like that now.
It's called, personal preference.
I agree with both khatti and sadzzz.
Sadzz, it was not generalization, but just personal observation. I am not saying that not so educated ladies can't be good mothers. Mine is one and she is the greatest mother on this earth (at least I think so). My gist is that education does help.
Re: Younger Moms
And I never disagreed that education doesnt help. And, yes, its your observation, not the truth. I have seen many parhe likhe jaahil laug. God forbid their DIL is more educated than them.
As for our mothers giving us an education because they thought something was missing in their lives.... again, thats your opinion. I thought most parents want their kids to have an education, not because something was missing from their lives, BUT so that their kids have a strong foundation. That their kids have a better life than them... have more options. But, hey, that's my opinion/observation.
Whatever the case, we want our kids to do better than what we did. Achieve more than what we have. Their baseline should be above where we finished off.
Not every educated woman will be a secure saas but I agree that if men had to choose, it makes sense to choose a partner who is educated or is working towards a goal. However, again an education doesn't guarantee that the mother will be hands on (sit there with their kid and spend some time helping them out) or open minded and secure. Some actually assume because they are smart so is the child so it aggravates them that why doesn't the child just understand it. I think a woman can put her education to some good use if she is willing to share the knowledge.
Re: Younger Moms
it's more of a commitment from a mother to get her children educated matters than a mother's age and her degree and I have seen so many examples of it .
Re: Younger Moms
Why can't a Young mom also be an educated mom? I guess that's a more important question. This thought of proces is usually only seen among desis (my observation). Every other nationality, arab, turk etc. etc. has no problem with a married woman finishing off her education.