I really dont know where to put this thread. In Parenting or here.. maybe mods can fit it better where they like.
The point is, when any of you two get aggressive due to any reasons (and here aggression doesn’t mean to be in an argument..it can be anything like the distasteful meal to not answering the call), how do you react when your kids around?
We take here an example (an imaginary situation), at the Dining Table… your husband says, bring the salt and for some reasons you couldn’t hear him while washing dishes..he says again, bring the salt… and the third time he almost yells, Dont YOU hear Bring the salt???he said it in really aggressive mood this time, now you hear him, give him the salt but your child(ren) are seeing this all… how would you feel??
I gave you an example here because without of this, I knew, some of you might come and write, we avoid fights or arguments in front of children or blah blah… but here the aggression I am talking about is totally different… Its just about a minute or two and you two are ok later.
But being said this all in front of kids or even other people can lead it to a fight…
I am not discussing here about other people at the moment because the scenario would be totally different… but right now I am specific about such incidents happening in front of your children… where sometimes its the wife who throws such a sentence and all at once… she doesn’t mean it as fight and sometimes its the husband like the above example I gave.
Question is, what to do at such situation?? Your kid is seeing you. He is at the age of observing. Would you mind it? Would you let it go?? Ignore? Would you feel being insulted in front of your kid?? Would you fight back? Would you stay quiet? Would you try to reply with a valid answer and clear why you didn’t hear him?? What would you do??
Here I am talking about the uncontrollable sentences or aggression, which last for few seconds but you can’t say… we avoid it in front of our kids, because its really uncontrollable. You say, its a feeling of irritation or getting annoyed for a while?!
We are not one of those ideal parents who would not have loud arguments in front of our kids, but then we makeup also (within few mins) in front of them, and do a big family hug. I know it’s not ideal, but at least kids get to know that mom and dad argue but they don’t really mean it. It keeps them emotionally secure.
Yes, kids learn from their parents who are supposed to model good examples for them. But kids, too, will lose their temper from time to time even if it’s for a few moments; human nature. The important thing is to emphasize the effort to control temper, be patient, try to consider the other person’s position and not just your own, and to apologize/patch up.
OMG…these hubbies don’t have two legs or two hands? are they invalids? they can’t get it themselves…nawaab mar gaye, aulaad chhoR gaye! aise mardoN ko to khaanaa bhii nahiiN milnaa chaahiye…they think they own the wife and she is his slave. kick his rear out of the house…
…the bottom line is: women must be financially independent to do that.
that imaginary guy is not worth living with because he is NOT good to the wife and also not a good influence on children.
Back on topic. I can’t really imagine myself going crazy in front of my kids or anyone for that matter. Nor do I see my husband doing that. We are not aggressive people and don’t lash out like that, ever.
If I was ever in that kind of situation though and my kids were there to witness it, I’d immediately apologize for my actions and hug my husband (in front of the kids haww hayeeee). I don’t want my children to even think it’s OK to scream at or be disrespectful towards anyone, I don’t want them to think of their parents to have anything but a loving relationship.
