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Your house smells like fried onions.
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When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other two percent.
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There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
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You make tea in a saucepan.
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You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
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You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
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You have a ‘Singer Brother’ sewing machine at home.
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Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn’t talk to her for ten years.
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You call an older person you’ve never met before “uncle”.
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You hide everything from your parents.
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Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
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You do all the housework and cooking if you are female. (Bechari larkiyan :p)
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Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
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Everyone is a family friend.
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Everyone always called you for help on homework.
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You study law, medicine or engineering at university.
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You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead.
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You know no one who has studied music.
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You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
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You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
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Your best friend got married at the age of 18.
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You only make telephone calls after 6pm.
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You like the meat well done.
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You eat onions with everything.
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You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
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You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
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You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.
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You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
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You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you’re with but the waiters don’t understand you.
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You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
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You always say “open the light” instead of “turn the light on”.
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You secure your baggage with a rope.
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You’re walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
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You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
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You go back to your parents’ country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
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You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
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Your Dad drives a Nissan.
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You’re rich so he drives a Mercedes.
- (For females) You’re parents would freak out if
you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable.
(For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm.
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You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.
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When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning.
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To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.
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You wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other.
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Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names.
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You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku.
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Your parents call all your friends “Beta” (son) whether they are PAK or not.
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Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds.
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Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day.
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Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they’re not fighting..
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Your parents compare you to all of their friends’ kids.
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At least once a week your mom says, “I want to go to India/Pakistan”.
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No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
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Your parents worry what other people will think if you’re not going to be a doctor/ lawyer/ engineer.
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You’re parent’s always say, “It’s cheaper in India/Pakistan.”
