Ugh!! What is it with you desi men and household chores… you will find all kinds of excuses to not do anything at home… even changing a bulb.
I’ve been asking my husband to change a bulb (its recessed lighting in the ceiling and I can’t reach it, told not to climb ladders in my current state) since 3 months… driving me crazy
Can someone give me some tips on how to get these little things around the house done without having a fight (I used to do them but can’t anymore), I’m just so cranky and short-tempered these days.
If their moms had told them to do chores and not view themselves as kings....people wouldn't face this problem today. I think they are always treated as superior beings of the household...so how can they do chores?
If their moms had told them to do chores and not view themselves as kings....people wouldn't face this problem today. I think they are always treated as superior beings of the household...so how can they do chores?
No excuse... haan kar doon ga kuch dair mein, jaldi kiya hai... haan abhi kar daita hoon, let me finish this (typing away on his laptop, probably chatting), etc etc.
go to him with a lightbulb in one hand and a sandwich in the other......
offer the one if he completes the other.
lol, good idea except he doesn't like sandwiches :p On a serious note, I've tried the food trick, doesn't work.
My FIL does JACK SH*T and my MIL does everything for him and for her son (my husband). Since we got married, she is doing a little less for my husband but the foundation has been set...he was spoiled by her...never had to cook for himself or do dishes or clean the house.
I do ask him to help with dishes sometimes but I usually have to say it a few times or I have to ASK...he will never just do it without me asking. As for cooking that is something he has told me point blank that he will NOT ever do. The best I will get is he can make a sandwich or make scrambled eggs...but he will never make real meals from scratch.
My FIL is SO lazy and my husband has learned it from him. My FIL never helps out around the house and my MIL does everything.
I was just going to start this same topic. My husband is very very VERY lazy when it comes to household work. I beg him, fight with him do whatever I can to ask him to do something. Lately, we've been arguing every day, and it becomes huge fight. I've been telling him he needs to do more around the house. I don't ask him to cook or anything. Just simple things like putting his plate in sink after he eats, putting his glass in the kitchen after he drinks etc.
When someone is visiting us, I clean, scrub every lil corner of my apartment and he doesn't do anything. I am so so sick of this. He is a great husband otherwise.
My FIL doesn't do anything whatsoever but then my MIL doesn't do much either because they have naukars. So now the kids are raised like this. They don't do anything around the house at all.
We have fights on daily basis now over this issue. I just want some peace :(
I dont know whats up with desi wives. I hear that often from my wife too
"XXXXXXX, I dont know whats up with you. Aap barey barey kaam tu itneee jaldee ker daitey hain liken yee chota saa kaam (for example replace bulb :D ) 2-3 weeks sai keh rahi hoon"
why do you girls have to be so vocal about it. Buss kam keh deya na eik baar? ho jayee ga 3-4 weeks main jaldee kia hai?
I used to fight over these things first year of marriage, got fed up… started doing everything myself and life was peaceful, and I got better with the handyman work around the house too, I make my husband cook and he loves it so we kind of made peace … I even fixed the dishwasher myself … but I’m pregnant now, need him to do some things which I can’t do myself anymore.
Haan, tab tak aadhay andhaaray kamray mein baithay raho :pcg:
My SO's mom was a housewife who did everyone for him. After college, he moved to a diff. state for med school/residency/fellowship etc. He lived alone for almost 8 years and had to everything himself so it's something something completely foreign to him.
While I do a lot of the housework (general cleaning, laundry, dishes etc), there are times I need him to do certain things.
If he delays too much, I simply tell him that either he does it by a certain date, or I will hire someone to do it. He knows me well enough to know that I'm not joking and WILL hire someone to do it if he doesn't. It its something simple like a lightbulb change, I tell him that I'll ask one of my male friends to do it if he's too "busy".
No arguments....I simply give him the choices in a calm/respectful manner.
The result: He does what I need him to do by the time I need it done. :)
** As for general cleaning, when I feel like I need help from him, I let him know why I'm not able to do it myself, and that if he doesn't help, I will gladly hire a maid. So far I haven't had to resort to hiring a maid....he always helps me when I explain to him why I need his helpl.
the situation with my hubby used to be really bad at the beginning of our marriage ... i literally served him food in the tray, cleaned everything, did all the chores in the house ...
infact getting a glass of water for himself was something he`d neva do ..
but today things thankfully are different ... i guess one day i realized that i am not his slave and made him realize that ... as i used to work fulltime and after getting home and doing chores and the cooking was not accebtable for me anymore ...
today wheneva i tell him to do chores or anything in the house .. he does it .. sometimes i have to run after him .. but we neva fight abt it ...
Theres only one thing he has clearly refused to do EVER and that is cooking.
But i hopefully will make him do that too one day .
:D
Tang naa karain oos becharay ko. Eik to waisay hee he is going through the toughest 9 months of his life ooper se bulb change kernay ke order de ke oos ke dimagh ka dahi naa banaa’ain
**
Lucky you.
and he loves it so we kind of made peace … I even fixed the dishwasher myself 
… but I’m pregnant now, need him to do some things which I can’t do myself anymore.
