You and Your Parents

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How different are you from your parents? In-terms of wanting to change norms from the previous generation. For example, accepting gays/ lesbians, loving marriages, certain careers, etc.

With each generation we progress in society, so how are you different from your parents that will help society progress.

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*accepting gays and lesbians is a 'PROGRESS' in your opinion? great! *

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Progress is different for everyone. No big deal.

So how do you differ from your parents in-terms of social norms.

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Islamic values have stayed the same with me. love for Urdu literature is same. but i'm a bit more relaxed when it comes to accepting 'permissible things in Islam', like eating meat slaughtered by ahl-ul-kitaab.

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bahot khub sahab

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i don't accept gays/lesbians........or showbiz career still........i am not progressed sadly :(

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My dad's very liberal (never stopped me from doing anything.. even seeing a non-Muslim at the beginning, supported me whatever my choice of career, have never heard him say anything negative about gays or lesbians etc).. we're pretty much on the same page.. Mum is very conservative so in the past we often clashed..

They're two complete opposites..

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I dunno, depends how tradition/conservative your parents are. My parents had an issue with my eldest sister going to uni and going to work (this was back around 15 years ago mind you), cos they didn't see the point. By the time it was my turn they were actively encouraging me to go to uni and get a degree to get a 'good job'. So I spose with mine, they kinda progressed a little bit with the times and the new generation.

In terms of how different I am to them, I think my values are pretty much the same, just a little bit more de-sensitised in terms of the gays/going on holiday NOT to Pakistan/getting married.

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i am different. i want to change the stereotypes but i dont accept gay and lesbian.

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I am different, my Mother bless her has a very positive outlook in life and tries to see the best in everything. She is traditional and holds very traditional values and certainly sticks to her roots, however she never imposed her views on anyone as far as I know and just let me find my own path in life. I learned more patience from Mother than anything. I believe my Father had a very spoilt youth and while he is traditional as well he came to the UK in a time when, best way to put this, he was very liberal with his outlook but later became more traditional.

Neither of them however has progressed to the level where they accept gays/lesbians as a social norm.

They have however accepted that many in our fammily no longer stick to certain traditions, for example we have several mix raced families in our extended circles where the guy/gal has married a gori/gora, revert/convert, Non Pakistani etc with one lad even married to a Hindu.

However I have a very traditional veiwpoint and more actively so than either of my parents. I seem to be the die hard of the clan, who would ussually scrutinize and carefully consider each “new” concept in society.

In terms of progress yes I do have a situation right now where as a young man but not old enough to impose my will on others by sheer brow beating, however in my clan I hold a status that is perhaps that of one who in future would wield the most power and so I take it as an oppurtunity to stem certain tides.

Where other aspects of society can be benificail such as having Internet connection in homes and communicating via web chats with fammily (big advantage of this is when speaking to fammily back home) However accepting things such as our younger members heading out every friday night to clubs is a big no no :nono: Naturally I have to consider things and wiegh them for thier influences be they positive or negative.

Now I dont nessacarily have any right to force those who wish to turn to what I see as socially unnaceptable things, however I do have a right to protect them and others from things that get out of hand. One of the things that I can give as an example is the summer riots. I made sure we knew where all our youths would be and so if there was trouble we could go out and stop it from escalating into something worse.

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Nice read Faris Bhai!

I think I'm less judgmental than my parents. For example the stereotypes my parents hold against Indians I don't believe in them. I'm sure that's mostly because I was not born in Pakistan and I didn't go through that time period. Same thing with gays or alcohol; I have nothing against gays or drinking other than it being against Islam. But my parents view point is very conservative when it comes to those topics.

I am really open to music and art turning into a career (if I see the talent in my child, I'd push for it), but my parents think it's degrading and not respectable.

But within this change in view point, we become desensitized to important issues. For example, half of my Muslim friends drink and I'll even go to a bar with them (mostly because I love bar food ) and I wont drink, but I think as a Muslim when you take such issues lightly, the next generation (our own kids) will not understand the negative consequences of that action as we or our parents understood.

With new generations, the line for what's right and wrong becomes thinner and thinner. Is that true, or is it just me?

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My daddi used to be all 'hawwwwwww jean de pent!' and all that jazz, 15 years later she's all 'find a boy, no matter what colour/age/location/career and elope, tell me once you're married.'

I think the change happened when she opened her first bank account...monies. Changes even 80 year olds. :D

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can u explain the meat part
thx

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I love how everyone took the gay marriage thing quite literally when it was just an example.. :D

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Dad was brought up in the UK so he understands the culture and certain aspects of life like going out drinking, gay/lesbian etc. He is moderate but my mother is conservative. She sticks to cultural/religious norms and wont change her beliefs but she has never enforced anything on me or siblings. She knows some of my white female friends or other mates that drink. I guess she knows she has brought me up in a way where I can do what I want within reason according to my beliefs.

I share the same religious beliefs and some cultural beliefs. I'm a moderate if pushed I would be conservative leaning.

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oh miles apart unfortunately! bohut daant parti rahi hai on and off :blush:

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Well to be fair i think we siblings are different from my mom and dad. My parents can be little traditional and believe in norms of the society that they grew up with. However, we siblings have balanced approach to many things. For instance, we siblings do not believe in any kind of biasness and double standards of our culture. We think that..there is no point of dil main bat rakhna about each other as oppose to keeping it in and fight each other about it. Where as, our parents were raised differently. So Alhamdulli'lah for everything!.

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Im almost the same as my parents who are moderates slightly leaning towards liberism.lol. My dad's pretty open minded, all about women empowerment, doesn't beleive in a conservative dress code, encourages me to get a proper career, not against love marriages, understands that thier son will probably get his own place after he is married and my mom is the same.Something both my parents and I can't get used to is live in relationships/and sexual activities before marriage...JUST CAN'T.:(

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Not another girl.

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I'm very different from my parents and I hate that.