my parents totally hate it, but HEY! some of this stuff is very true! 
YOU KNOW YOUR DESI WHEN…
You ask for small drink at fast food restaurant because the refill is free.
Random family friends call you “beyta”
Somebody in your family owns a convenience store.
you have to call just about all your parent’s friends “Auntie and Uncle.”
The dark skinned cousin was always ridiculed at family get togethers.
Instead of the typical 8 glasses of water a day. in your house, Its 8 cups of tea.
Your parents thoroughly enjoy comparing you to their friend’s kids.
Your parents lied and said you were 12, when you were really 16, to get you into places half-priced.
You say “Open the light” instead of “Turn on the light”
You save plastic grocery store bags to re-use.
Late is your middle name.
If you like someone, you jump to thinking about marriage. Nothing in between.
Your family bbq’s consist of make indian food on the beach wearing saris.
Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they’re not fighting.
if the sale states “limit 6” your mom makes you take 6 more and tells the cashier that you are separate
You tear off the expiration date of coupons or argue when the store wont accept it.
You ask before eating any meat “Is this beef?”.
You just could never ask a girl out.
Your afraid to dance in front of your family at weddings. And you know the horror of someone coming over to pull you onto the dance floor.
You’ve learned to just accept those Bollywood movies where someone could have just been shot dead in India, and out of nowhere, they break out into a joyous song somewhere in Switzerland.
Your mother forced you to put oil in your hair when you were young, and you still do.
Its considered abnormal if your not married or engaged by the time your 22, or child-less by the time your 25.
Your terrified of all the old ladies sitting in the corner at weddings, judging everyones outfits and gossiping hours on end.
Your parents tell you to not care what your friends think but they won’t let you do certain things because of what the other “Uncles and Aunties” will think.
Your parents strongly dislike George W. Bush and curse at the TV screen whenever he is on the news.
Your parents would only give you enough money to buy 2 pairs of shoes-one white,one black to go with everything.
If your a girl, by the time you hit 13-your mom always tried to sneak marriage into the conversation and tried to teach you how to cook a full punjabi dinner, so youd be prepared in the future for your husband.
You always felt left out when the Americans kids used toilet paper and you had a “lota”.
When you were little you always wondered why your American friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning
You dont believe a single word of those so-called Desi thugs, because you know when they go home, their mother scolds them to take off their “bling” and eat their dhal and roti.
At family discussions, there is always an intense heated debate between the uncles and then in a second, everyone happily gets up when the dinner is ready.
your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing From your country with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks and English words that make nosense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange and the ever popular lime green
At the airport, your the one standing next to HUGE suitcases that are bound with rope and 60 pounds over-weight.
everyone thinks you’re “Indian” no matter what part of South Asia your ancestors were from
Your parents love to watch the show Family Fued.
If your Pakistani, you take it in offense if someone calls you Indian, and vice versa.
When your out, you you go to a restaurant with a group of people and fight endlessly over who gets to pay the bill.. then tip $1
you will notice any random unknown desi person, and chances are, they’re looking at you too.
You couldnt imagine life without roti and naan.
There is always lots of tension between relatives at family reunions.
Wednesday is pronounced “when-is-day” in your house.
If your a girl, youve had your ears pierced before you could crawl.
You talk to Americans as if you represent your whole country.
You have large amounts of relatives in England or Canada.
The lawyer handling your green card is in your speed dial.
You find it absolutely hilarious and sort of flattering when Indian directors try and cast Americans to speak Hindi in Bollywood movies.
Your mom/aunts/grandmother etc. are always wearing some kind of gold jewelry, even to go to the supermarket.
You dont know much about baseball, but when the conversation starts on cricket…
When your relatives come over, there is always 10 different loud conversations going on in one room [aunties with aunties, uncles with uncles]
When your American friends cringe at the thought of their parents in bed, you wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other
If your Pakistani, before you even hit your teen years, you knew that you shouldnt even Think of marrying anyone outside your race.And liking a non-Muslim was even considered worse than eating pork.
You know all the facilities available at public library.
Your parents are afraid of most black people, and because of that, you grew up fearing them too.
A white wedding just doesnt feel right. You need color! Red, Yellow, Orange, Bright Green, the works!
You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you.
Talk for an hour at the front door when leaving someone’s house.
Then inviting them back in to sit and drink more tea, and then going through the same routine all over again.
Stove top in your apartment is covered with aluminum foil.
If your Muslim, you know atleast 10 Ali’s, Muhammad’s, and Yousef’s.
As a baby, you were taken care of not only by your parents, but by your aunts, uncles, grandparents etc.
(For females) You’re parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable
(For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 10pm
You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
You save take-out sauce packets in your kitchen drawer.
You starts spelling your name to the operator like A as in Apple, B as in boy, T as in train …well you get the idea.
Your bio-data and picture have been circulated more than on your resume for desi dating sites like Mendhi.com or ShaadiOnline
your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say “Eat it anyway. It’s still good.”
When company comes-the kids have to eat food on a table cover spread over the floor.
You take off your shoes before stepping foot in your living room.
you’ve learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
If you like onion rings at Burger King.
Your parents are afraid you will get sucked into the Amrikan culture, which is why they NEVER forget to remind you of your heritage.
You know who Lata Mangheskar is.
You always got along better with your grandmother than your mother. And you mom always yelled at your grandma for spoling you.
Your American friends tell you how much they love roti’s.
The phrase “When are you going to India/Pakistan” comes into your conversation at least once a day.
You drive a Toyota Camry or Honda Accord.
You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried.
The number of long distance calls is more than domestic calls.
You keep switching your internet service provider because first month is free.
You go back to your apartment for lunch.
Youve watched Bend it Like Beckham more times than you could count, and even your parents enjoy it.
If your full name contains more than 15 characters.
Youve live in or have been to Jackson Heights,New York more times than neccesary.
Can say hello by simply raising your eyebrow
Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds.
You know all the $1.50 theaters in your city.
Your name ends with “inder”
You know who Shah Rukh Khan is.
Your parents absolutely forbid tattoo’s, but they probably have one secretly of a heart with an arrow going through it.
In bad times, sometimes you wonder what horrible thing you did in your past life to deserve this.
Friends and family back in South Asia talk about how much they dislike America, but would give anything to get a visa to come here.
You know more about the fued going on between India and Pakistan than you do about recent American history.
The only reason you go to a temple on festivals is because there is free food.
You have spent nights in the car while traveling because you wanted to save money spent on cheap motel.
You never had a sweet 16 party.
You don’t know any American outside your work.
You have at least one India made pressure cooker in your kitchen.
If this thought comes to you “Oh **** I just saw another desi” when you are window shopping at a local mall.
If you keep comparing prices at circuit city for the phone you bought six months ago.
When your mom comes home with napkins stuffed in her purse of the restaraunt she last ate at.
You are compelled to visit ever major city in US, just so as to say that "Yes I have been there ".
Have a bucket in your bath tub.
You have to borrow luggage from friends for visit back home.
The smoke detector goes off whenever your are cooking dinner.
You say “Damn I have already seen this show” when ever you are watching Married With Children.
You buy rice in the 20 pound bags.
Office supplies mysteriously find their way in your house.
You don’t want to buy a printer because you can always use the office printer.
Your mother fed you and bathed you until you hit puberty.
You have postponed buying answering machine because the computer you are planning to buy six months later has in built answering machine.
Your idea of fun involves bowling.
There is always someone in your family who is in the medical/law/or engineering feild. But no one in the art/music feild.
All the young desi girls you know streak their hair blonde and wear blue or gray contacts. Even some of the guys!
You know what’s going to happen in every hindi movie before it happens
You bring over the counter medicines like iodex and Vicks from your country.
Your American friends cringe when you tell them how delicious Lamb and Goat meat is.
Your parents try to show off your successes at get together’s.
Your moms side of the family doesnt get along with your dad’s side.
You have or have tried to sneak around behind your parents back with your secret american boyfriend/girlfriend.
You know the current differential in gold prices between India/or Pakistan and US.
When your getting a marriage proposal, the other family sends pictures of both their sons/daughters so you can pick which one you like
You have a bought a video camera just before Niagara trip and returned it after the trip.
You have taken pictures of your car and mailed to your folks back home.
Your totally non-american mom is a huge fan of actors like Richard Gere or Goerge Clooney.
Your parents panic and worry dont answer their phone calls on your “mobile”.
Use the credit card with maximum cash back.
You have collected enough frequent flier miles for an international trip.
You are saving more that 30 % of your salary.
At the end of a wedding, atleast once an older relative has grabbed your arm and loudly proclaimed “Now its your turn!”
Have bookmarked immigration web pages in your browser.
You know all of your friends salary.
Tried to talk in a phony accent with the freshie in the school.
There are more that 4 guys living in a 2 bedroom apartment.
You have cooking schedule in your kitchen cabinet.
You spend at least 2 evenings in a week at Kmart.
You split even tax from your common grocery bill.
Complain about Indian international airports on your first vacation to India.
You take 4 week long vacation.
Youve attempted to break-free from the typical Indian stereotype but it never worked.
You totally despise all those annoying nicknames youve been given throughout the years likes “chotu” or “chicku”
You are the first to know about any on campus job openings at the school library/cafeteria/computer center.
You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don’t know, but who insist they’re related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to anyone YOU know.
Your mother probably has a short, curly permed hair.
When you were young, you were forced to play the piano, the violin or both.
You have a nose ring.
Your parents tell you if they had the kinds of facilities you had in school, they could’ve been something big.
Youve been packed with 10 other people, into a 7 seater car, when there is a “per car” enterance fee.
When our fathers get together, no matter what the topic is, each man is an expert.
You love your culture and people and couldnt imagine not being Desi, regardless of all the little strange quirks that come along with it.
