your mom allows you to pick you a girl or choose you a girl and on the other hand you know some SOPHESTICATED girl who you really like and over that she is willing to embrace Islam and is determined to practice with best intentions. And she is just not turning to Islam because of you but she is personally attracted to it .. like personal DEVOTION but the sad part is your mom dont want you to marry any other lady but DESI.
but you sure that non-desi girl will serve you better and will be a better muslim comparatively .. would still be marrying her against ur mom’s wil be a sin or morally wrong?
p/s: it has nothing to do with my life .. ALLAH DI KASME !
Tough situation.
I don't think your mom will be convinced as things lie.
If the sophisticated lady decides to convert and spends some time as a practicing muslim, ammi-jaan may be more inclined to consider her as bahu-begum.
try not to hurt anyone in the situation you’re in. Its really important to keep our parents happy…so we should explain things to them…if they dont understand us maybe get some scholar imam to talk to ur parents (if you’re really that serious about marrying this girl)…if parents still dont agree, I dont think u should go against their wishes…wait for a while maybe their thinking will change…but never hurt ur parents… they worked so hard to bring you up, give you all the things u need, do anything they can to make u happy, help u when u need it and most importantly bring u up when u were totally helpless. after all they’ve done for you, i think its unfair to pay them back by getting married to some1 they totally disagree with. there should be compromises on both sides.
You're supposed to honor ur parents, of course, but this doesn't mean you have to make one girl miserable..Trust me, parents will get used to it. If you feel the non-desi will make you happy, then go for it. If shes converting because of her own interests and not becoz of you, then there is deff a chance it will work out.... but the question of "will it work?" applies to desi couples as well, not just mixed couples... Also, for what reason will ur parents not accept the non-desi? Because they fear she won't make a good Muslim or a good wife? Tell them that being born in an "Islamic" country does not make one a better Muslim... But if the guy in question will be living with his parents and wants the whole traditional joint-family thing, then he is most likely better off with the girl his mother chooses, because if he chooses someone of his own liking and go agaisnt his family, they will deff make her life a living hell, and if he loves her, he will not put her through that bullshiit and leave her to find someone much better, someone who deserves a girl like her :)
Well PR, I added that coz i saw another side to what wud happen if he married the non-desi instead of desi.. but the girl in question, the one whos life wud be miserable, i initially meant the desi girl but yeah i guess both of em wud suffer 1 way or the other
PyariRani...thats easier said thatn done becuase the dilemma seems to be that there is a clash between what makes the son happy and what makes the parents happy...
Impulse i agree that we should respect our parents...but what if the criteria that parents use is incorrect...lol one of my friends got married to a bengali gal...his parents were against it becuase she is Bengali...hardly a correct criteria is it...he went against his parents at the time but eventually they grow to accept the choice...they accept the error of their ways and realise that they dont want to miss out on their grandchildren...going against your parents doesnt mean you lose them a lot of the time...so if their criteria isnt based around your happiness then i would say go against them...
Bombastic...you say she i willing to embrace Islam...it shoudnt be something she is willing to do...it should be something she wants to do...i know you say that shes not doing it for the man but sometimes you dont know...my friends older brother was engaged to a gori who converted so that his parents would accept her...the relationship didnt work out...and shes back to the way she was before...another real life example is Jemima Khan...all hijab and all when she got married and once divorced the bikini and public sex with Hugh Grant...i always think gals who convert when with a partner is a bit shady....they should do it on their own terms...
So my conclusion is if you like the non desi gal...and you think she will make a good wife...and her beliefs are genuine and stuff...then marry her...
Its not fair to marry the other gal cos shes not first choice...and you may think you are making your parents happy but doing that at the expense of your own and the girl in question is hardly fair to either of you...and the fact is your parents will be unhappy when you are unhappy eventually...
Even if your parents dont like the gori they will grow to accept it...its a harder option but one i feel is ultimately better...
Bomby you know damn well that guys do this crap as well, albeit more openly so don't go around thinkin that girls raised here are that bad or sumthin ifur not willing to admit that guys are equally messed up.
.. ALLAH DI KASME !