Yeh Rumaal Aap Ka Hai?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

I know…I know…such a cringey title!!! (you’re welcome.. :chai:) …And if you clicked on it, then it served its purpose . :snooty:

Ladies and Hazraat,

Tell us how you respond when someone is persistently interested in you and you just do not feel the same.

Do you…

A) Shamelessly bask in the attention and lead them on…

B) Continue to be polite…

**C) **Get annoyed, keep a distance, and offer no encouragement

D) Shred the rumaal and slap them harddd! 'You raaskal, tumhari himmat kese hui!" ((Resurrecting Madhuri from her hey-day)

**E) **All of the above…(in the same sequence)… which makes you a vile human being.

Discuss…

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AH- there are 2 types of people: ones that did all of first 3, and liars.

For the younger me, it was almost always A, B, D minus the shreds...or maybe..

Now, it's usually B, C and another format of D where I have this serious talk asking the individual to stop. * With time, I'm becoming more empathic so I ensure meri waja se kisee ka dil na dukhe.

Would love to read what the rest of you have to say..
*

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Mostly C, especially in the workplace but outside of that, too.

People will derive hope from the smallest bit of eye contact, or chit-chat, or a smile, and so I won't give them any of that or the barest minimum if the situation demands it. This has resulted in many of them feeling offended or to occasionally become passive-aggressive, which will sometimes turn me off and increase my annoyance.

So what sparked the creation of this thread? I was inspired by a couple of my friends.

I have a couple of friends who continue to engage men that they have ZERO interest in, men that they are put off by. They could choose not to attend the phone calls, but they pick up anyways. They could choose to not respond to a text, but they do it anyways. They will, of course, complain about it later. So why do they do it? I've heard things like, "Oh but he's a coworker and I don't want him to get angry cause more trouble." Me: "But he's not your boss or manager and you could get him written up for harassment, and you are not obligated to talk to him outside of work hours, so why fear him so much?" Then there's ..."Oh I'm just curious and fascinated by people, and want to know what he'd do next?"

Then I become blunt in my responses. If your own decisions are part of the problem, then don't complain about those guys to me. It annoys me and turns me off to them (the friends).

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I don't think I have ever been on the receiving end of any such persistent interest. I would guess it would be an unrelatable experience for most men unless they are super handsome.

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[quote=““The Last Straw””]
Mostly C, especially in the workplace but outside of that, too.

People will derive hope from the smallest bit of eye contact, or chit-chat, or a smile, and so I won’t give them any of that or the barest minimum if the situation demands it. This has resulted in many of them feeling offended or to occasionally become passive-aggressive, which will sometimes turn me off and increase my annoyance.

So what sparked the creation of this thread? I was inspired by a couple of my friends.

I have a couple of friends who continue to engage men that they have ZERO interest in, men that they are put off by. They could choose not to attend the phone calls, but they pick up anyways. They could choose to not respond to a text, but they do it anyways. They will, of course, complain about it later. So why do they do it? I’ve heard things like, “Oh but he’s a coworker and I don’t want him to get angry cause more trouble.” Me: “But he’s not your boss or manager and you could get him written up for harassment, and you are not obligated to talk to him outside of work hours, so why fear him so much?” Then there’s …“Oh I’m just curious and fascinated by people, and want to know what he’d do next?”

Then I become blunt in my responses. If your own decisions are part of the problem, then don’t complain about those guys to me. It annoys me and turns me off to them (the friends).
[/quote]

Safy introduced me to lots of modern terms, these are called orbitors, females have no interest in them yet they keep them around for validation.

It was a moment of vindication for me, I was always compared negatively to the religious brother in law who was boasting about nammaz, roza, building mosques..never trained the boys to learn about girls. Plus he was a pedophile and a perve.

The girl showed up at the wedding with around 20 men circling her, one guy would sit in her feet with tears singing ghamgeen taraaney.. Safy told me they were orbitors. Every function would start with Tillawaat and then this girl would be jumping 3 feet in the air with other men

Guys teach your kids to socialize.

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O_o So the more self esteem issues, the bigger the orbiter circle? Are orbiters usually friend/brother zoned or have they graduated that stage, and are sentenced to one-sided love for life? You teach me something new everyday, @Bobby1

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That’s how the nature works, the male makes the move, not the other way round.
One of the many reasons, women just can’t take the rejection. When they have guys approaching them from all directions, why would they papa ki paries approach men ?

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Actually, Safy taught me this, this is done for validation and to attract the higher quality males to advertise, look I am so hot, all these guys are after me. Also maybe an ego boost.

Another stat is 65 percent of married people have someone waiting in the wings. Relationships are complicated now. An orbitor can be a plan B. Do you know the term SIMPS also. Men like Safy despise them.

Western relationships are complicated, you need to woo your woman all over again almost everyday, you have to keep them excited, entertained. Guys with door knob for personality are up the creek, without a paddle.

I tried giving him relationship advice again today and I was wrong again.

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[quote=““Pakistani Prince””]

That’s how the nature works, the male makes the move, not the other way round.
One of the many reasons, women just can’t take the rejection. When they have guys approaching them from all directions, why would they papa ki paries approach men ?
[/quote]

That reminds me of my worst Eid ever. I saw this girl for the first time after Eid prayers as she was a friend of a couple of my friends. Few hours later we met again at one of those friends’ places for a few minutes as I was rushing and had other plans for the day. While I was leaving she invited me to another Eid party later in the day. Since I was expecting my own guests, I declined just the way I would decline any of my other friends and left.

Little did I know that she took it as something completely different ! My bad luck was that I ran into her once again on the same Eid day after a few hours and she just exploded at me in the presence of several guests. My mind went completely blank as I had no clue what my mistake was. Also I just cannot argue back-and-forth so I just said sorry a couple of times to her accusations and left.

Her anger was such that she didn’t even acknowledge me saying sorry. Despite my attempts at avoiding her, I kept running into her for 3 years after that and her blood would boil the moment she would see me. I realized that she was trying to tell everyone and perhaps herself too that she was the one who rejected me. Just to clarify, she completely misunderstood me when I declined her invitation on Eid day.

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No. I don’t use rumaals, only toliyaas :snooty:

C.
D. if necessary :mad2:

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F. Distance myself from them or put them down in the kindest way possible.