If God wanted most of us to see the sunrise, He would have scheduled it later in the day.
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
It’s always darkest before you step on the cat’s tail.
The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Who says nothing is impossible… my uncle has been doing nothing for years.
(Bagdhad) Following a second day of heavy bombing in and around the Iraqi capital, Saddam Hussein today announced that he is willing to accept censure.
Bob Dole’s Viagra ad, “I didn’t win the Presidency, but with Viagra I can act like I did!”
If you don’t care where you are, you ain’t lost.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
He’s the type who approaches every subject with an open mouth.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Money can’t buy love. But it CAN rent a very close imitation.
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Always try to be modest. And be d**n proud of it!
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.
How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands…
Attempt to get a new car for your spouse-it’ll be a great trade!
Guests who kill talk show hosts-On the last Geraldo.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
Borrow money from pessimists-they don’t expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
And finally …
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
*if these things ever help u in any stage of your life EVER!.. to please Jeenius kay liye aik duaa zaroor kar dena
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/biggrin.gif
NO URLS DUDE…PPL HAVE BEEN BANNED FOR POSTING THEM…Beware!
[This message has been edited by who—me (edited October 10, 2001).]