months of struggle between our families. Met my prince 7 months ago mashalah through our family friends. The only issue was that he is Muslim and i am Christian. His mom was big no no but she agreed finally. We are both happy with this decison but at our engagement his mom was being outright rude with me. Making sarcastic remarks and seemed not happy genrally. What do i do to make her feel better. I sent her flowers, cakes and even spent time at my fiance’s house and cooked food with my sis-inlaws to be. I am already scared :(. I hate family politics.
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
If the difference of religions are bothering her, remind her that muslim men ARE allowed to marry women who follow the "books" i.e. "ahl-e-kitaab"
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
Congrats, PakiQueen, are we invited to the wedding? :)
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
This has less to do with the religion and more with the typical MIL mind set... Look around this forum and you will get clear picture.
Anyhow Congratulations!!!
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
Congrats on your engagement.
I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to get along with your future mother-in-law but maybe you shouldn't expect too much. She's not thrilled to have a daughter-in-law who is a different religion than her. I hate to give you bad news but she may never accept you and the sooner you realize that the better. Don't focus too much on making her happy and earning her approval. Instead put your time and energy into your relationship with the man you love- as long as he's happy with you forget everyone else.
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Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
oye hoye sammy!...Many congrats to ya on ya're engagement once again!..so say..... party time eh..:D
As per topic on hand..ya should focus on your wedding. There will always be things..nothing is perfect.
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
Its a huge pill to swallow for her. Muslim or not, parents usually expect their kids to marry in the same religion. Give her some time & continue doing what you are doing (trying your best to make her happy without sacrificing your own needs) & she will eventually come around. Don't ever let her disrespect your believes but also prove to her why you are the best choice for her son & her family through your positive attitude.
Remember patience at the right time in life can go a long way.
Good luck & congrats.
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
Just keep your expectations as low as possible...you should be fine.
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^^
Well this is not good advise. Should she be expecting beatings :D
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
LOL. I meant don't expect acceptance...you guys fought to get here didn't you? You know she didn't want this marriage right? So why are you surprised at her behavior? Was it supposed to change overnight? No. Don't get emotional and ignore common sense. She will not just turn into the dream MIL right away. It takes time to get to know one another and build something.
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
congratz
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
Congratulations! I am so happy for you.
Now as far as your future MIL is concerned, unfortunately, sometimes desi saasoomas can be very unreasonable with their DILs, as a quick glance at this "Life and Relationships" forum can reveal. Sadly that's how some MILs are even when they hand-pick their DIL and she is from her own family! So always be civil and polite to your MIL to-be but don't let her get you down. Try not to take her sarcastic comments personally because chances are she would be making similar comments to anyone else in your position too if her son was marrying someone other than you.
What do i do to make her feel better. I sent her flowers, cakes and even spent time at my fiance's house and cooked food with my sis-inlaws to be.
You are already being very kind. Along with all this, on her birthday/wedding anniversary perhaps you can surprise her with a cake, go out for dinner together as a family to some restaurant (doesn't have to be a very fancy place, of course), and treat her with a gift card from some spa/saloon. Also if you are into baking and stuff, you can make some home-made brownies or cupcakes or something like that for her when you go visit her. Or else, if she prefers desi food, then you can make something traditional like kheer or shahi tukra (desi-style bread pudding). Shouldn't be too hard and Uncle Google can guide you with recipes if any help is needed!
Good luck!
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
If the difference of religions are bothering her, remind her that muslim men ARE allowed to marry women who follow the "books" i.e. "ahl-e-kitaab"
She knows, her son has told her. I know she is not thrilled about it but meh. ;D
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after…
awn yes you are. 
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
Congrats on your engagement.
I'm not saying you're wrong for wanting to get along with your future mother-in-law but maybe you shouldn't expect too much. She's not thrilled to have a daughter-in-law who is a different religion than her. I hate to give you bad news but she may never accept you and the sooner you realize that the better. Don't focus too much on making her happy and earning her approval. Instead put your time and energy into your relationship with the man you love- as long as he's happy with you forget everyone else.
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you're making me sad.i know that she is not thrilled about this. but i want to be able to be happy about this. Coz this is her son's wedding.
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
oye hoye sammy!...Many congrats to ya on ya're engagement once again!..so say..... party time eh..:D
As per topic on hand..ya should focus on your wedding. There will always be things..nothing is perfect.
omg! thanks so much Xtron for every single thing!!!. u knw what i am talking about. yes party time!. Bytheway I passed your number to Sania she wanna talk to u about the event.
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
Its a huge pill to swallow for her. Muslim or not, parents usually expect their kids to marry in the same religion. Give her some time & continue doing what you are doing (trying your best to make her happy without sacrificing your own needs) & she will eventually come around. Don't ever let her disrespect your believes but also prove to her why you are the best choice for her son & her family through your positive attitude.
Remember patience at the right time in life can go a long way.
Good luck & congrats.
sigh. thank you.
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
LOL. I meant don't expect acceptance...you guys fought to get here didn't you? You know she didn't want this marriage right? So why are you surprised at her behavior? Was it supposed to change overnight? No. Don't get emotional and ignore common sense. She will not just turn into the dream MIL right away. It takes time to get to know one another and build something.
i am surprised at her behaviour cuzz after she has accepted it and all happy about it. she did tell me that she is happy. but i guess you are right. sigh
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after...
i am surprised at her behaviour cuzz after she has accepted it and all happy about it. she did tell me that she is happy. but i guess you are right. sigh
Re: Yayy I am getting married finally after…
awn. that was the sweetest reply. . thank you sooo much. I have taken your advise.