Re: y things r not hapennig gud???
I think in Pak, parents start searching pretty early …sometimes around 18-19…and hope to get their daughters married off by the time they finish college. But there’s been a good mix from my mom and dad’s side of the family. There’s only a few cousins who got married in their early 20s…the earliest being 18-19 (and that was a cousin raised in the US). But many of my cousins in Pak got married in their mid to late 20s. Perhaps there is a general time frame for when parents start searching and maybe a norm for societal expectations…but what actually happens (as in one’s kismat) does not always coincide with the norm expectation.
I know everyone is different in terms of maturity level, but I didn’t really know myself all that well at 22. And sometimes I think that the stress of getting married…especially in Pakistan where the norm expectation is at a younger age…is due to competition where you see friends and relos getting hitched and then parents compare and start feeling like they’re “behind”, etc…or possibly even a romantic-bollywoodish notion of marriage…which is not unusual when you’re younger. As you get older, you have a more realistic view.