X-husband Dilemma

[Muzna]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

@partyslims

Yup

Like when we find out about the evil MIL who always wanted her jigr ka tukra to marry her sister’s daughter. Or how about when her hasbaand’s khala’s brother in law’s son hatches a plan to break up the shaadi by enrolling in the same college as the mother.

awaiting twists and turns

I wanna know about the blackmail…
projectingfullondesiauntymode

[Sandninjer]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

@Muzna

:D some folks debate for the sake of debate..... some are frustrated by the "my assumption is more right than yours".." approach some use the opportunity to vent..... some just want the thread to run on and on... and others still use the opportunity to launch thinly-veiled attacks.....

I agree that morality will come into a discussion....and perhaps should. The problem here is that we are all operating on some assumptions (and the thread has gone off into a tangent of arguing whose assumptions are more likely to be closer to the truth) because the OP has either decided to abandon the discussion or because he/she simply doesn't have access to all the facts and therefore has nothing more to contribute.

Damn I mean I'm just trying to kill time. No offense to the OP but I'm not posting here in an attempt to help anyone. I'm just bored.

...but I also would like to stay on topic. As far as what topic, that's up for debate.....

[Sandninjer]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

@partyslims

Yup

Like when we find out about the evil MIL who always wanted her jigr ka tukra to marry her sister’s daughter. Or how about when her hasbaand’s khala’s brother in law’s son hatches a plan to break up the shaadi by enrolling in the same college as the mother.

awaiting twists and turns

rofl

[Reha]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

@Sandninjer

No one is denying the legal right, if one even exists (which we don't know). Some states give me the right to shoot anyone who tresspasses onto my property. I can do it, but does it make it morally acceptable that I do it anytime someone tresspasses? It's within my legal rights, after all.

My point is...and my only point is...what we find morally acceptable is a completely separate concept from what might actually be happening. Its a very simple idea. I don't have to like the ex, you don't have to like the ex but guess what? He's here. And you cannot do a thing about it unless you go to court and change the rules. Having a debate over what we find right and wrong is useless because it won't change the facts.

[Sandninjer]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

@Reha

My point is...and my only point is...what we find morally acceptable is a completely separate concept from what might actually be happening. Its a very simple idea. I don't have to like the ex, you don't have to like the ex but guess what? He's here. And you cannot do a thing about it unless you go to court and change the rules. Having a debate over what we find right and wrong is useless because it won't change the facts.

Aside from your last sentence, which is inaccurate because no one here actually knows the facts, the rest of it is common sense and could have been ascertained from the original post. I don't see why it was necessary to waste energy to have a conversation about that which is why this thread took a different route. Just like what I asked Muzna a couple posts ago, "why is there a 4-5 page long discussion about what the OP already unveiled?" LOL.

I think some of you guys are just writing posts either to increase your post, kill time, or both. Well, I'm guilty of trying to kill time as well. No offense, I was just expecting something a bit more complex.

[Reha]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

@Sandninjer

Aside from your last sentence, which is wrong because no one here actually knows the facts, the rest of it is common sense and could have been ascertained from the original post. I don't see why it was necessary to waste energy to have a conversation about that which is why this thread took a different route. Just like what I asked Muzna a couple posts ago - why is there a 4-5 page long discussion about what the OP already unveiled? LOL.

I think some of you guys are just writing posts either to increase your post, kill time, or both. Well, I'm guilty of trying to kill time as well.

Actually the funny thing is..............this entire time my post has been misinterpreted as "I love wife beaters, lets all give them our kids and declare National Wife Beater Day". So no, common sense is not so common.

[Sandninjer]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

I shall henceforth take my boredom to another thread!

[Muzna]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

@Reha

Actually the funny thing is..............this entire time my post has been misinterpreted as "I love wife beaters, lets all give them our kids and declare National Wife Beater Day". So no, common sense is not so common.

actually I found that quite funny too that just because I decided not to berate the "dead beat dad" it was somehow assumed that I was condoning his abusive behaviour........

I wonder how many judges see cases where the biological father has a propensity towards violence yet they have no evidence and therefore have no choice but to grant access/visitation......it happens. Do I think it's right? Of course not. Does it matter what I think? Not a tiny bit.

[Faexa_Khan]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

According to islam it is the duty of a wife not to let anyone into the house unless her husband permits it. so the wife should obey her husband and should not allow her ex-husband into her home. The x-husband can meet his daughter outside somewhere.

[Zafra]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

I will bow out of the conversation as it taking on a gender dynamic that frankly I think is irrelevant. However I shall point out what I understand and you can clarify if I am correct or not.

First point with reference to page 1 and 2 is that the current husband is jealous. He is being unreasonable and intolerant of the relationship between the current child and the father. In that regard he is in the wrong and should check himself.

Anything missing so far?

Second point with reference to pages 1, 2 and 3. The fact that the father abused the mother in the past and abandoned them does not have a reflection on his present interactions with the child. He is making amends his past should be ignored and More so he has a right to see the child even though he beat the mother and used her for a green card. Lastly it is assumed the relationship would be healthier for the child as she would seek out the company of her biological father over that of the step-father.

Page 3 and 4 focus more on directly on my comments and not the situation at hand so I won't comment further. However if requested I can do so.

As for legality. The point has been made based on supposition and assumption that there is a legal frame work in place. Based on that notion it is assumed that there is joint custody. More so it is assumed that the court has sanctioned legal visiting rights from the home of the current husband. More so it is assumed that based on some notion (for which I can not find any substance) the step father can not deny access to the biological father to access his home.

Lastly there are questions placed as to why the wife/mother is not doing more in this situation and information is missing which is being supplanted by personal assumptions.

I believe that would be a coherent summary of the discussion from one end.

[Reha]

Re: X-husband Dilemma

I don't think anyone will be requesting additional commentary Zafra.