^sure you could say that. Not sure if she will say yes, but you can try :p
When you are a minority in a county you pick up on different traditions which may not exist in your culture. An example kind of related, a gory lady we know, decided to wear a teeka for her wedding day, just because she's best friends with a Pakistani family. She thought it looked nice and added it on to her own wedding. So I see no harm in writing your vows (if you're the expressive type of people). It's just nice and sentimental.
It's a gora thing to do ... well actually kaley do it too ... in fact ... it is extracted from the Church wedding .... And it probably originates as a pagan style of wedding that has been given a Christian badge at some point when Christianity was spreading.
The simple answer is that we don't do it because it is not our rasm ... it's like asking why don't the people who are raised with western culture do "tael mehndi" ..
We probably didn't give it much thought ...
However you will find some ABCD and BBCD weddings doing this these days ... :)
What's the point Gaia? And I guess it is also because Allah prescribed the proper way to go about marrying. It's preceded by a dua/ayats from quran, the qubool bit and then a dua in majalis (company)
Desi weddings aren't all that Islamic tho, are they.. and writing your own vows wouldn't go against any teachings anyway (unlike a lot of the other stuff)..
i went for a nikah and the maulvi made a mini speech of sorts and listed out what the couple should do to have a successful and healthy marriage. :) and as for couples' vows, they should do it personally and not in public. it IS common sense anyways
I'd wanna do it. I think it's just** super sweet.** I can't however imagine it doing at my nikkah or at my mehndi/barat. Just probably would do it with just my close friends around.
Ok I’m honestly surprised at all the criticism of the writing of vows. If we can exchange rings after nikkah (yes a lot of people have done it), then why can’t we express our love for our spouse in front of friends and relatives? No one is forcing you to do it either. You can continue to do your tael and mehndi rasams.
LOL. Sure, it is possible!!! HOWEVER most likely the MIL problems will be replaced with other issues such as…Oh, my friend’s husband kisses her with so much more passion, why cnt my hubby do the same OR OMG! My husband must be seeing somebody because he didnt kiss me today OR My husband is such a moron we were kissing and he immediately stopped when his mobile rang. I bet he knew it was his mother calling otherwise how cud he Meanie! I am going to have a serious talk with him tonite.
The last 2 reasons: It would make people uncomfortable and many people don't know their signficant others (arrange marriages)
I see nothing wrong with it if you do it in front of close family and friends....(or maybe just friends depending on family). So most likely not during a normal wedding reception..........cause lets be honest all of those 200+ people invited to your wedding are usually not part of 'close family/friends' category
Is it because:
it's a gora people thing
it's lame to express your feelings for each other in front of others
it would make our guests uncomfortable (you know our aunties and unkles)
it's point gets lost in desi culture because many of our weddings are arranged, so you don't know each other that well
i think because vows are more religious related then culture...its a part of christian/cath weddings to write vows IMO
