Stay in a loveless marriage. Reading these threads makes me feel that many choose to hang on to unions without love, respect or appreciation. If you choose to stay in one, why?? is it financial or emotional dependence or the stigma of divorce???
Re: Would you????
Maybe kids
Re: Would you????
if no kids, i would do it for "fee sabeelillah" because among the allowed this Allah dislikes divorce the most. i made it very simple for you.
Re: Would you????
Depends on how bad it gets but i do think id stick around if its lack of love (cuz that can just be a phase) but lack of respect hmmm i dont think in that case i would stick around :/
Re: Would you????
if no kids, i would do it for "fee sabeelillah" because among the allowed this Allah dislikes divorce the most. i made it very simple for you.
Women used to be dependent on men and weren't allowed to work outside of home, many are financially independent and sticking it out and making her miserable cant be an act of benevolence. Maybe she finds someone more handsome and who loves her. I am not sure any woman would want to be stay married out of pity. I know many women who did much better 2nd time around.
Re: Would you????
^ i was talking about the woman...i said i would stay in the marriage...for the pleasure of Allah. He will have great rewards for me and she will have to answer to Allah of what she does in this world.
i think it's absolutely a far fetched scenario where all three come together [no love, disrespect, abuse]. as long as there is no violence and there is no danger to life for both in the union, i'll stick around. :)
Re: Would you????
^ i was talking about the woman...i said i would stay in the marriage...for the pleasure of Allah. He will have great rewards for me and she will have to answer to Allah of what she does in this world.
i think it's absolutely a far fetched scenario where all three come together [no love, disrespect, abuse]. as long as there is no violence and there is no danger to life for both in the union, i'll stick around. :)
It seems like you feel that staying married to a woman you dont love is an act of charity. As I have seen many women did way better the second time around.
Re: Would you????
Dude..it could be just a phase. I would stick around and try work on the marriage despite of all the ups and downs. But as shimmer said..if i have been severely disrespected..then yes..i will give second thought to that relationship.
Re: Would you????
It seems like you feel that staying married to a woman you dont love is an act of charity. As I have seen many women did way better the second time around.
charity nahiiN janaab 'neki'? charity aur neki meN farq hai...hai na? :)
Re: Would you????
Dude..it could be just a phase. I would stick around and try work on the marriage despite of all the ups and downs. But as shimmer said..if i have been severely disrespected..then yes..i will give second thought to that relationship.
What about absolutely wonderful guy but you dont have the fire for him and maybe you can find with someone else. To have a loveless life is such a tragedy. Seems like you guys just look to survive.
Re: Would you????
If it became terrible and we tried to work on it and it wasn't working, I'd leave - kids or no kids. Staying in a negative/hostile/loveless marriage affects kids far more than people think. I've seen it happen to my friends and the emotional baggage they carry because of their parents crappy marriage. After they were older and their parents split they said they wished they had done it sooner.
Life is too short to be unhappy in it.
Re: Would you????
I already have left a loveless, lack of respect marriage .. so, to state the obvious, heck yea I would leave, but not without fully trying first.
I had tried from day 1 continuously for 3.5 years, now that I think back, that was too much time that I wasted trying .. oh well, I guess it was meant to be that way
The main reason I stayed for that long was because my mom is very, super, over the top traditional when it comes to anything to do with me (meaning she is quite modern actually, but if something concerns me, she thinks as if we are in the year -234989) .. anyway, her pressure of "guzara karo" made me stay and the fact that my dad kept threatening to disown me cuz he wouldn't have been able to handle the society talking crap...
until I had enough of doing guzara and peaced out.
Re: Would you????
I already have left a loveless, lack of respect marriage .. so, to state the obvious, heck yea I would leave, but not without fully trying first.
I had tried from day 1 continuously for 3.5 years, now that I think back, that was too much time that I wasted trying .. oh well, I guess it was meant to be that way
The main reason I stayed for that long was because my mom is very, super, over the top traditional when it comes to anything to do with me (meaning she is quite modern actually, but if something concerns me, she thinks as if we are in the year -234989) .. anyway, her pressure of "guzara karo" made me stay and the fact that my dad kept threatening to disown me cuz he wouldn't have been able to handle the society talking crap...
until I had enough of doing guzara and peaced out.
How do you feel about arranged marriages were you marry a stranger and don't feel any chemistry and hope that you will fall in love. I see so many desis who have spent eternity together and dont seem to enjoy being with each other.
Re: Would you???
^^ I think those types of situations never work out.. however, some people are OK with living like that. I have a friend in that situation right now, she complains nonstop, but knew what she was getting into and living life
I, for one, cannot live like that. i just don’t see the point in it, and I think that kids should never be a reason to stay, cuz everyone is miserable in that scenario.
when it comes to arranged marriage, it’s very important to have at least somewhat of a common understanding before the baat pakki, it’s not something that should be waited for *AFTER *marriage… cuz if it doesn’t work out, then everyone is disappointed and wonders why it didn’t work.
One thing our desi community need to understand (and this is more towards the elder generations like grandmas and aunties, not today’s young adults) is that just by simply putting 2 strangers together doesn’t mean they will automatically click and make a marriage work. and if they split, the immediate thought process is “she couldn’t hold a marriage with the 1st one, why would she able to with a 2nd one” … I can’t even begin to comprehend how that makes sense in their mind.
out of the millions of people in the world, you happened to get married to ONE of them, didn’t get along for whatever reason, that suddenly makes u non-marriage material 
… WTF logic is that… that ish makes me tick so much
Re: Would you????
Loveless marriage in general depends on lot of factors. One is compatability as AK mentioned. But as i stated i will stuck by her and support her if God forbid i was in that situation. And if all fails then yes will think about separating option.
Despite of all my imperfection..i do think there is always room for compromise on both sides. And these compromises should be well talked about it before getting married.
From someone who has gone through first marriage i can tell you...mutual respect along with true sense of love..can make life much smoother. And lastly...whether you are a guy or girl..whose first marriage wasnt successful...it is automatically assumed that they will make terrible spouses...messed up i tell ya!
Re: Would you????
Loveless...its hard to say. Maybe for my child I might do it...to give him stability.
Disrespectful marriage - No way in hell.
The best thing you can do for your children is love and respect your spouse.
Re: Would you????
if you can live your life without love as single person - why not as a married person?
Re: Would you????
if you can live your life without love as single person - why not as a married person?
A married person has to commit his/her life to the relationship, as a single person you wake up when you want, eat what you want and do what you want.
A single person still has hope to find love.
Re: Would you????
No, I wouldn't.. I need more than companionship..
Also, I couldn't be intimate with someone I didn't love (or live without intimacy)..
Re: Would you????
if the marriage is love less and no kids, then it should be end, kiun key esy ap apni b zindagi khrab kr re hoty hain or dosrey bandey ki bhi.