Re: would you take relationship advice from
This can be the topic of my next thread. 
Re: would you take relationship advice from
of course I would! just because they divorced doesnt mean you can't learn from their experiences...they have probably been through much more, hence more life experience..
Re: would you take relationship advice from
sure I would. You can learn from another's mistakes
Re: would you take relationship advice from
Being divorced doesn't mean people "failed" to make their relationship work.!
No, that's just something we tell the divorced people so they won't feel bad. Political correctness.
The fact is, being divorced does mean they failed to make their relationship work. That is exactly what it means. Only exception is the when girls are forced into marriage by their parents. But when two consenting adults take the plunge, they have to make it work. If they can't then I sure as hell won't be knocking on their doors for relationship advice, something they have failed at themselves so miserably.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
If they arent compatible they don't have to live HELL to show the world that they are "making it work".
No, that's just something we tell the divorced people so they won't feel bad.
The fact is, being divorced does mean they failed to make their relationship work. That is exactly what it means. Only exception is the when girls are forced into marriage by their parents.** But when two consenting adults take the plunge, they have to make it work**. If they can't then I sure as hell won't be knocking on their doors for relationship advice, something they have failed at themselves so miserably.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
If they arent compatible they don't have to live HELL to show the world that they are "making it work".
Why get married if you aren't compatible?
Re: would you take relationship advice from
Why get married if you aren't compatible?
Not many ways to find if you are compatible or not.At least not in our desi system of getting married.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
:hinna:
Re: would you take relationship advice from
Even if Divorce is some form of failure, you learn more from failures than from successes. Having said that, divorce is not a failure of relationship - at worst its a failure to compromise.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
Not many ways to find if you are compatible or not.At least not in our desi system of getting married.
The desis back home haven't caught up on the divorce fad yet. Pakistan has a very low divorce rate. Even with their lack of opportunities to judge compatibility they are doing pretty darn good.
But that is exactly the kind of luxury most ABCDs have, they can get know their partner, they can date, heck even live together. So if they can't stay married, they obviously don't know jack about relationships.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
The desis back home haven't caught up on the divorce fad yet. Pakistan has a very low divorce rate. Even with their lack of opportunities to judge compatibility they are doing pretty darn good.
Are they ? or are their kids suffering 'cuz they would rather stay married even if they can't tolerate each other ?
Re: would you take relationship advice from
'and that is not necessarily a very good thing
The divorce rate in Pakistan is extremely low due to the social stigma attached to it. Women who seek a divorce are also often victims of honor killings.[SUP][9]](Women in Pakistan - Wikipedia)[/SUP][SUP][59]](Women in Pakistan - Wikipedia)[/SUP][SUP][70]](Women in Pakistan - Wikipedia)[/SUP] One notable example is the high profile case of Samia Sarwar who was murdered in her lawyerâs office on 6 April 1999 by a hitman hired by her family. She was seeking a divorce from her estranged, abusive husband, which was deemed as dishonorable by her family.[SUP][94]](Women in Pakistan - Wikipedia)[/SUP]
Re: would you take relationship advice from
How many of these cases do we have each year? A few hundred? thousands? How significant is the figure compared to the number of people getting married each year?
@ Little Princess:
I donât think I have to mention the social and psychological effects of divorce on children, which have already been so extensively researched, documented and pondered over.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
50% of first marriages are ending in divorce. Nearly 50% of second marriages are ending in divorce.
Something to think about. That would make 50% of the population and their children failures (children are products of their parents - parent = failure means child = failure - right?).
I can understand the sentiment that all divorcees are "failures", and believe me, many already feel like failures. That being said, a lot of divorcees actually take the time to self-reflect and learn from their mistakes. Whether you want to take advice from a divorcee is your own perogative, but I am pretty sure the world will not stop turning for the divorcee if you choose to be politically incorrect and shun us.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
Itâs not just divorce.Bad marriages where ppl stay in it for "social reasonsâ or for the âkids sakeâ are equally bad.IMO bad marriages are worse than a divorce.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
Yes of course I would, at the end of the day, I'll have to use my common sense as well.
I haven't had any advice from divorced person but have noticed that people who had messy relationships in the past can often sound too bitter, cynical, and pessimistic about certain things, just way too cautious and that can kill the thrill for others. I have a friend who is bit of a man hater these days thanks to her past relationships so asking for her advice on romantic relationship is not exactly the best thing to do right now. lol
Re: would you take relationship advice from
No, that's just something we tell the divorced people so they won't feel bad. Political correctness.
The fact is, being divorced does mean they failed to make their relationship work. That is exactly what it means. Only exception is the when girls are forced into marriage by their parents. But when two consenting adults take the plunge, they have to make it work. If they can't then I sure as hell won't be knocking on their doors for relationship advice, something they have failed at themselves so miserably.
It doesn't mean they failed to make their relationship work at all. It means they tried but if two people are a bad match, they are a bad match no matter how hard you try to shove them together. You have one life...no one says it should be spent with someone you don't want to be with. Not even Allah swt says that. So no, its not a failure at all.
You don't really have to say or not say certain things to make divorced people feel better. Chances are, nothing you say will hurt them more than what they already have been through...you're giving yourself too much credit here.
The desis back home haven't caught up on the divorce fad yet. Pakistan has a very low divorce rate. Even with their lack of opportunities to judge compatibility they are doing pretty darn good.
But that is exactly the kind of luxury most ABCDs have, they can get know their partner, they can date, heck even live together. So if they can't stay married, they obviously don't know jack about relationships.
They can get to know their partners, dating depends on the family and people but no one I know has lived with their spouse before marriage. And since being painfully blunt is the new fad here...its stupid to live with your spouse before you are married to them.
No matter how hard people try to mimic the real thing by pretending to be married and playing house...its not the real thing.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
Yes i take an advise from a woman whom i respect most as my friend. She is divorced. And just so ya know buddy. Being divorced doesn't mean people "failed" to make their relationship work. It is sometimes better to be divorced then live a life of misery!
I agree to this, there can be so many reasons for failure in relationship, not just not geetting along is the main cause. Its just better to be careful in the very first place before starting a relation, not just fall for it, but if in any case it does not go well then keep on making the same mistake over and over again is not wise, but I realy think poeple should avoid divorce and try to get along with each other in any way they can. Regarding them advising, anyone's good or bad experience can help
Re: would you take relationship advice from
The newbie wanted to rile everyone up and he/she got it.
Re: would you take relationship advice from
have taken it few times....from guppies like Niksik, Muzna, X2, Sehrysh, Decent, stoppit and CM....and few others I can't recall their names.