The term Good Family always get thrown around during the rishta process. But do you think that term is relative, or does it have an absolute meaning?
For example, A family who primarily works in govt (especially customs). Working for Govt = rishwat and rishwat = all sorts of bad things. I know a huge generalization, but that is just the general culture of govt positions.
To somoeone else, a family whose members do not pray 5 times a day plus thajjud would be considered really bad. Then again, for another person that might be considered too mullah like.
I always wonder if politicians’ families are considered good families. Politicians = lying, cheating, rishwat and dhokaybaazi. Who would consider that a good family.
Re: Would you say the term "Good Family" is relative?
IDK, my boys are still very young and I dont know how involved I'll be in helping them choose their mates...but when I do (lol, notice the positive/hopeful attitude here :) )...the most important thing to me will be the gal herself. There are people who have had bad childhoods and come from poor or corrupt families or bad circumstances that actually produce beautiful children. I'd never turn down a rishta based solely on the parents standing in the community. I would look for the best match in a wife for my sons and not make the potential wife pay for the sins so to speak of her elders. Foremost should always be the happiness of the couple...as opposed to how "impressive" the rishta is.
Re: Would you say the term "Good Family" is relative?
I agree with MO3. In the end, its not the families who are living these lives, its the people themselves. I would want to know the girl herself more than anything/anyone else.
The term Good Family always get thrown around during the rishta process. But do you think that term is relative, or does it have an absolute meaning?
For example, A family who primarily works in govt (especially customs). Working for Govt = rishwat and rishwat = all sorts of bad things. I know a huge generalization, but that is just the general culture of govt positions.
To somoeone else, a family whose members do not pray 5 times a day plus thajjud would be considered really bad. Then again, for another person that might be considered too mullah like.
I always wonder if politicians' families are considered good families. Politicians = lying, cheating, rishwat and dhokaybaazi. Who would consider that a good family.
Probably b/c every family has a different criteria for what's "good" and what's "bad" according to what will fit their lifestyle......
People also say that a marriage is between 2 families.. the girl is important, but you really can't be sure who's a "good family", the flaws are revealed much later :)
Re: Would you say the term "Good Family" is relative?
A good family= a family who have good overall values, morals.
No family is perfect..everyone has their flaws ......but a good family to me would be one that is well respected and has a decent reputation among the community. One that people dont complain much about or have nothing bad to say about them.
I disagree with those that say you are living with and marrying the guy/girl and not his family.....altho it is true technically you are living and marrying HIM/HER. however you will be dealing with his/her family on a day to day basis. They will be involved somehow and will have an impact on the marriage and your kids. His/her family can make or break a marriage almost as much as the couple themselves.
The term Good Family always get thrown around during the rishta process. But do you think that term is relative, or does it have an absolute meaning?
For example, A family who primarily works in govt (especially customs). Working for Govt = rishwat and rishwat = all sorts of bad things. I know a huge generalization, but that is just the general culture of govt positions.
To somoeone else, a family whose members do not pray 5 times a day plus thajjud would be considered really bad. Then again, for another person that might be considered too mullah like.
I always wonder if politicians' families are considered good families. Politicians = lying, cheating, rishwat and dhokaybaazi. Who would consider that a good family.
I'd say it's mostly relative. Personally, I don't see working for the government to necessarily imply that they're taking bribes etc. Someone working for the government can definitely be a good and honest person. When it comes to rishtas for my children, I wouldn't be automatically turned away by the fact that someone is working for the government.
As far as praying 5 times a day, I consider it to be a bare minimum. I wouldn't even consider anyone who doesn't regularly pray 5 times in a day. However, if there are members of the family who are not regular in 5 times salat, I would not hold that against potential rishta as long as he/she is regular with theirs. Of course, this is one important factor that I would consider to determine if a family is "good" or not.
Maybe I'm naive about the politicians. but I wouldn't automatically assume that they're involved in bribery, cheating and deception. I wouldn't consider their family bad without having good reason to have that opinion.
Re: Would you say the term "Good Family" is relative?
a good family to me is renowned for its ethics and morals, self-made i.e, it has struggling members where money comes through halal terms as only a member of it will know the true worth of hardwork n struggle. moreover, it has its own norms e.g, the basic values like respect, love, tender words and politeness are there. if most of the members are educated not only through degrees but r groomed then only it is a good family with a porpotion.
THE PERSON YOU R MARRYING NO DOUBT HAS A REMARKABLE AFFECTS OF THE FAMILY AND UPBRINGING.
remember that a person bcums the character by witnessing chracters around him and learns the rights and wrong taught and depicted by the leading figures, mother and father
This is an interesting topic. Hmm........the word "good" is very subjective. What is "good" to one person may be "bad" to another. It's a difficult question to answer because there are way too many factors that play into this. For example, individual A might pray 5 times a day and have a disrespectful and unpleasant disposition. On the other hand, individual B might struggle with prayers but could be the kindest person.
When it comes to the harrowing rishta ordeal.........it has a lot to do with your own priorities as an individual. You have to ask yourself what qualities do you value in a person and a family. Is it clean reputation, wealth, respectful demeanor, humility, being religious. And then you also have to consider how you order the qualities. What carries more weight?
Of course, it's WISE to to thorough investigation about the prospective family and to spend sufficient time getting to know them.........before making a life-altering decision such as marriage.
And while "good family" is a subjective idea, it's humbling to keep in mind that none of us are perfect. Most people in this world are fairly decent. They are shades of gray in each of us. We are neither purely good nor purely bad. We all have days when we're not at our best........it's human to make mistakes and be subject to mood swings, greed, petty jealousies, etc.