Would you reject a rishta just because the girl’s or the boy’s parents are divorced ? Here , I am discussing this issue as a parent.
Our society has this mind set that just because the girl’s or guy’s parents are divorced he/she will never know what it’s like to live together like a family or if they get their son or daughter married with someone whose parents are divorced to log kiya kahain gay ? or (this for girls only) that just because her mother got divorced she also like her mother will not be a home-maker and will ultimately do what her mother did ?
When my parents were looking for a rishta for me we never actually came across anyone from a broken family or whose parents were divorced. Did you yourself ever received the discussed rishta ? if yes …what did you do ? and how your parents reacted ?
No, my other half's parents are divorced, doesn't bother me one bit.
There are a million reasons why ppl divorce and even if one parent did happen to be 'bad' that's hardly the son/daughter's fault or something that should be held against them. My mum has two divorced siblings (both re-married quickly), we don't see it as a big deal.
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Our society has this mind set that just because the girl's or guy's parents are divorced he/she will never know what it's like to live together like a family or if they get their son or daughter married with someone whose parents are divorced to log kiya kahain gay ? or (this for girls only) that just because her mother got divorced she also like her mother will not be a home-maker and will ultimately do what her mother did ?
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I used to think that was wrong..but after having seen real life examples of marriages not working out due to whatever reason and their common factor, I am starting to believe there's some truth to that.
I do believe that a child can grow up happy and well adjusted if and only if they are not exposed to unhappy marriages and nasty family politics--which if you think about it goes for both divorced and non-divorced couples.
Also, for many girls at least, the parents' divorce has an opposite effect where they try much harder at their marriages, compromise more etc, just b/c they don't want to go through the same thing.
Like almost everything, this isn't a make-or-break issue.....many other--direct--factors should come into play before deciding whether a rishta is suitable or not.
I wouldn't reject a rishta because his parents were divorced, it wouldn't really be an issue for me. There could be plenty of reasons why his parents got divorced and they're nothing to do with me.
I understand that someone seeing their parents go through a divorce can have mental/emotional effects on the person...but not everyone whose parents have divorced suffer from "issues" later on in life. Besides, it's probably healthier for someone to see their parents go through a non-messy divorce rather than see them suffer through an unhappy marriage imo.
Obviously not. But my point is that none of these things are dealbreakers necessarily, for me. I know people form ‘broken homes’ that have healthy lifestyles and good perspective on life. There are people from ‘average homes’ that do not.
the guy am getting married to has a step father..my family was concerned that he is a single parent child actually so he might have some personality issues… i am a bit afraid too..but till now i didn’t find anything very odd in him except that he is over-sensitive ..this thing makes me upset at times but then again who is perfect?? whether itz a single parent child or a person coming from a complete perfect family…
Obviously not. But my point is that none of these things are dealbreakers necessarily, for me. I know people form 'broken homes' that have healthy lifestyles and good perspective on life. There are people from 'average homes' that do not.
It depends on how people handle their "issues".
Sahar the notion that those who have issues come from average homes is kinda oxymoronic. If said individual came from an average home, he or she would be "normal". Also it would be important to read my message as a whole. An unhappy marriage saddled with a messy divorce. It was not an if or or statement. Children who have lived in an unhappy marriage which leads to a messy divorced are addled.
Just being from a divorced family does not make you Hanibal Lector. But the chances are higher. Just like coming from an abused home and being sexual abused provides a higher degree of the individual being a serial killer or other such crimes.
jis ne jo sochna hai wo sochay ga n our ppl def questions a girl's abilities more if her mom is divorced than a boy's in same situation. she will hear more taunts every time she'll make a mistake but then everything is in Allah's hands and he has a plan for everyone. she'll def get her fate and if He wants her to be happy nobody can change it.
I wouldn't reject a rishta because his parents were divorced, it wouldn't really be an issue for me. There could be plenty of reasons why his parents got divorced and they're nothing to do with me.
I understand that someone seeing their parents go through a divorce can have mental/emotional effects on the person...but not everyone whose parents have divorced suffer from "issues" later on in life. Besides, it's probably healthier for someone to see their parents go through a non-messy divorce rather than see them suffer through an unhappy marriage imo.
According to research kids of divorced parents are more likely to end up with divorce. it may not be true for everyone or every child of same parents but atleast one sibling either the elder or the oldest do repeat history. its called a divorce cycle.
A child of an unhappy marriage and a messy divorce will obviously have issues. Its a weaker version of a child that grows up in an abused home.
CM.....I respect your right to have an opinion. But your post sounds similar with " if he/she is a muslim or pakistani then he/she must be a terrorist"
jis ne jo sochna hai wo sochay ga n our ppl def questions a girl's abilities more if her mom is divorced than a boy's in same situation. she will hear more taunts every time she'll make a mistake but then everything is in Allah's hands and he has a plan for everyone. she'll def get her fate and if He wants her to be happy nobody can change it.
I agree with you ! One of my aunt's parents were divorced and it was her mom's fault (her mom was our relative) . But she got married to a very decent man. They have been married for over 4 decades now. All her kids are so well established not only in terms of their professions but also as a family & as a muslim. Her husband treats her like a queen and masha allah she is very happy !
According to research kids of divorced parents are more likely to end up with divorce. it may not be true for everyone or every child of same parents but atleast one sibling either the elder or the oldest do repeat history. its called a divorce cycle.
Hmmmm Mabrook. The study must co-related divorces of kids with parent's divorce. Otherwise it's now so common that in every other family you will find a divorce case and of those people whose parents were not divorced.
this research was done on some 20,000 families over 30 yrs time period however
another research also says kids who are in highly conflicted marriages suffer more than those with divorced kids.so instead of growing up with unhappy , disrespecting parents kids do better with single parent. the best thing one can do for their kids after divorce is to stop blaming their ex in front of kids n keep them away from blame game n conflicts. most divorced parents do this mistake that they keep involving kids in wat n y things happened putting blame on other partner and child keeps suffering quietly.
..this thing makes me upset at times but then again who is perfect?? whether itz a single parent child or a person coming from a complete perfect family…