say if you meet this girl, she has nice features like eyes etc and slim and a nice personality and stuff but she has moderate to severe acne. Bear in mind, the acne isn’t her fault and she’s making an effort into getting rid of it.
Before my fiance, i was rejected a few times because of it, well they didnt say it out but i could tell from the reaction of the rishta’s mum at the way she looked at my face. Giving advice on using rose water etc Even my mum used to tell me to wear makeup to cover it more, but it looks ridiculous when i did and i stoped wearing it because it made it worse.
Before acne i was considered quite beautiful, people used to compliment on my skin all the time. I didnt care too much for it because i was busy with my studies and really didnt care too much about how i looked.
well ive been put on birth control and its cleared up pretty well and my skins alot better. I know it will probably come back once i come off but i just want to be clear on my wedding day and at least show my fiance he has a beautiful wife. At least he saw past my skin and looked at my personality more. I’m saving up money to see a dermatologist.
would you reject? Don’t concentrate on the guy too much imagine he was a hot chick
With guys it different, it would be more acceptable for him to be rugged with scars and stuff but girls are always expected to have flawless skin (reason why many wear foundation). Some say, men prefer women with clear skin as it indicates fertility because of high estrogen levels.
No. Acne is not permanent, it can usually be helped and there is medication, and cleansers out there that can help it. :) Hope to God it clears up though, I know its not fun!
To be totally honest I would have to be in the position. However, I would think really bad rejecting someone based on acne. However, I am not ruling it out either since I don't know what the decision will be...BUT, I'm happy you found a guy who has looked past that! :)
^ Yeah its clearing up well i guess you can class it to moderate to mild. But people still talk and make comments :/. Apparently my face is all yellow according to one relative and looks fake beacause of all the creams i use maybe/ There's no pleasing some people sigh.
^ Most likely they're just hating on you b/c your skin has cleared up and you look better.
say if you meet this girl, she has nice features like eyes etc and slim and a nice personality and stuff but she has moderate to severe acne. Bear in mind, the acne isn't her fault and she's making an effort into getting rid of it.
People actualy think acne is the person's fault? ://
^ Most likely they're just hating on you b/c your skin has cleared up and you look better.
People actualy think acne is the person's fault? ://
Yeah, even my mum used to say to me that i used to wear makeup that's why it happened but i never used to wear alot, and i used to always wash it off after. And now she tells me to wear makeup telling me that i messed it up and it cant get any worse lol she can be a cow sometimes. I used to get cruel things said to me like you should wash your face more and stuff it really lowered my confidence and honestly i didnt want to get married after all that judging by something I can't control.
There was one rishta's mum who was so shocked at my skin (she seen me before when i was younger and had perfect skin) telling me what happened to my face and stuff. Even my mum agreed with her to be polite, she used to have the most nicest face blah blah.
I'm just grateful that i've found someone who accepted me when my face was at its worst. I was also at a very unconfident low as i was rejected a few times before. But he saw something in me no one else did and im so happy for that and feel so lucky :)
Really thanks everyone for your input, it's all very interesting to read:)
You know, I'm not going to say that those who rejected you are superficial etc. That's just how we all are unless we are in situations where we can empathize because of having experienced something similar.
So don't let your others' comments get to you. You focus on what you have to do. And treat others as you'd like to be treated yourself. (well unless they continue to be major morons)
And coming to the acne, I suggest you try more than just BC pills. Add a topical cream to your regimen. Adapalene gel is good and does not irritate the skin like Retin-A might. (It takes up to 3-4 months to see results but it surely does work).
Yeah, even my mum used to say to me that i used to wear makeup that's why it happened but i never used to wear alot, and i used to always wash it off after. And now she tells me to wear makeup telling me that i messed it up and it cant get any worse lol she can be a cow sometimes. I used to get cruel things said to me like you should wash your face more and stuff it really lowered my confidence and honestly i didnt want to get married after all that judging by something I can't control.
There was one rishta's mum who was so shocked at my skin (she seen me before when i was younger and had perfect skin) telling me what happened to my face and stuff. Even my mum agreed with her to be polite, she used to have the most nicest face blah blah.
I'm just grateful that i've found someone who accepted me when my face was at its worst. I was also at a very unconfident low as i was rejected a few times before. But he saw something in me no one else did and im so happy for that and feel so lucky :)
Really thanks everyone for your input, it's all very interesting to read:)
My cousin had the same issue with acne . She had severe acne and went to see a dermatologist for it. He prescribed antibiotics and that helped. Despite using lots of $$$ on other commercial product/cleansers/cosmetics she wasn't able to get rid of it. She stopped going out because everyone would notice and comment on her face.
Mashallah it's good you found someone who looked past those minor flaws. I hope you're able to save up for a dermatologist so the issue is taken care of inshallah :)
Acne can be cured. Consult a dermatologist who can assess your skin and prescribe products and treatments according to your skin's condition. Discuss the various treatments, how long they take to see results, side-effects, etc. You have a wonderful fiance who loves you the way you are.
As far as those aunties are concerned........I dunno why it is so damn hard for some people to just keep their mouths shut. Cuz you KNOW if someone had said "What happened to your face?" "Why are you so bony/fat/whatever?" to the aunties' children.......they'd be offended. That's why I don't always buy the "But they were concerned beta, that's why they were asking" excuse....cuz when the tables are turned...they can't always handle it. And I tend to see this happen quite a bit in Pakistan. Where relatives will ask questions or make comments about your looks. They don't like it when its done to them. And my mom says "Oh it's because they haven't seen you in years." And I think...."Sheesh I haven't seen them in years...But I don't feel the need to point out who has gained weight, who has pimples, who has fried hair, etc." I figure they have a mirror...and its not necessary for me to do so.
Also, as Sara said above, some people ESPECIALLY have nothing positive to say when you improve yourself.....cuz they're jealous. And I've seen that happen.....sadly among relatives more than outsiders.
***Roaccutane does wonders for clearing up Acne permanently. Shouldn't be used if you are trying for a baby as its teratogenic but otherwise I've seen the results myself and they are amazing ! You do need to be persistent with taking it as it causes a lot of drynes and peeling of the lips but once you are done with it you'll thank me !
It is only prescribed by a dermatologist , u need have your liver function tests done before starting but its good for severe acne
I don't think one should reject someone based on acne however you have to consider physical attraction is important in a relationship . ***
^Physical attraction is important, it definitely has its place in a relationship. And people have different opinions as to what they consider attractive. There may have been times when the OP didn't feel any attraction toward the rishta prospects.
While rejection is a part of life....the important thing is to do it in a tactful way. Do those aunties REALLY need to make comments about her face while they're sitting in her home and chowing down on the refreshments? No, they don't. They can behave themselves. And after they have left her home.......on the phone.........they can come up with a more tactful refusal (something that doesn't have to do with the acne). Can that be managed? I think so.
Also, realistically speaking....you have to be honest with yourself as well. I'm not saying that acne is the person's fault.....cuz I've been through acne.....and since so many factors can cause it...it's hard to pinpoint a single factor. But if you, as an individual feel, that you need to work upon your skin or your weight....to feel more healthy and better about yourself.....then do so.
