Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone better?

Lifestyle Relationships
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This is mostly for arranged marriage setting because in love marriage it probably doesn’t matter.
So girls if you
If you had a choice of marrying someone with a better job like maybe doctor or engineer or someone in IT compared to someone artistic like a writer , artist, fashion designer to maybe architect which one would you choose all else being same ? I guess someone who has more stable job who is more logical will be wealthier and seen as better then someone with a job not as stable. Although some in seco d category can be wealthier so this hierarchy of jobs is not so clearcuty.

It affects me personally as i could have done engineering like my parents wanted to and i tried but I was not so passionate about it. Instead I did architecture which i am passionate about and a part of me wants to pursue fashion design. Also part time I have been doing ballroom dancing with my sister. Although I am an amateur I wouldn’t mind going pro.my family is full of doctors and engineers and my parents disapprove this and blame my rishta breakups on this. They don’t sympathise saying if I had beenengineer more girls would have liked me though i would have been miserable

Does it really make a difference to girls? If you liked a guy in a creative field would you still marry him evenif your parents opposed? Or if the guy was in a more junior position to uou ? And for guys here do you have career preferences for your wife same field, different field or stay at home? For me it doesnt matter as long as they’re happy although there is attraction towards someone in a more intense but different field to me. All have their quAlities like a doc or engineer husband would be stable and be useful if someone is unwell or you need help around the home. An architect husband could create the house of the wife’s dreams and a fashion designer could make the perfect lehnga, sshalwar, dress, casual outfit for the wife. Or a writer/artist husband could make the wife an inspiration or muse for his work.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

Yes, it does make a difference to girls and you already KNEW this even before you asked the question.

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I was hoping for some it wouldn't matter as much. Like with females and their looks yes it matters to some but it shouldnt be defining thing. Looks go and jobs can also come and go.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

Yes, some women are more open-minded. It is not always the defining criteria; a woman can reject a doctor or engineer for other reasons. Neither should you think that a romantic personality should be the defining factor. A fashion designer might be able to design his bride-to-be's lehnga and provide great fashion advice, but it won't matter as much if he's not established. There are also stereotypes associated with male fashion designers, hairstylists, and makeup artists that can make rishta prospects hesitant. The literary market is fiercely competitive and it is hard to break through. Many famous authors were rejected numerous times before reaching the status they currently enjoy. The term "starving artists" doesn't exist without reason; it is tough to make a stable living in the Art field. You cannot blame a girl and her parents for desiring financial stability. There is more to a marriage than just romantic/creative gestures, it cannot survive on love alone. You're seeing things from a more emotional stance than a practical one.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

^

Yeah. But girls who are in the Art field, struggling artists, authors have no problems getting 'rishtas' because of it.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

[QUOTE]
would you still marry him evenif your parents opposed?
[/QUOTE]

no

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

how come you are putting architects and fashion designers in the category of unstable income?

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette


As an architect i really shouldn't and i know fashion designers can have good income.
I guess it takes more time to have regular income and is not seen as good a marrying a doctor/engineer or maybe that's just my family.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

depends from country to country then i guess.
generally, a fresh doctor in Pakistan with only an MBBS and a fresh engineer earns less as compared to a fresh fashion designer.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

Really? A fresh fashion designer earns more than a doctor or engineer . Is that in all of Pakistan or just in places like Lahore or Karachi?

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

OP I think ur parents have drilled the engineer doctor thing in ur head waaaay too much. Since when does architecture come into the "stupid" category as parents put it? My dad didn't have the means to become an engineer but he's still in a related field and he really wanted my eldest brother to become one. My brother went into it for him but halfway got really uninterested cuz he was finding it so hard. He asked my dad if he could switch because he didn't like the field but my dad thought that the only reason he's doing It is that it's difficult so my dad asked him to stick it out and that it'll work out fine. My brother tried but then dropped out and didn't graduate in anything!! I on the other hand was a really good student and did become an engineer but then never worked in my field! I really wanted to get into architecture but the whole switching thing meantid have to start from scratch so i didnt (which I still regret... I might still not be working but atleast if I did I would be doing something I like, in fact I feel that's why I was never ambitious about working... Because I didn't have a passion for my chosen field!).My middle brother went nowhere close to engineering and my dad did that whole thing a lot of times like his degree is not a good one. But he did finally ask him to pursue one that he was interested in and that would be better for him. So my point is that even if ur parents don't think too muh of it (I don't think it can be blamed on them since they grew up with it being drilled into them too) it's good that u majored in a field that u have a passion for and u will have a level of job satisfaction (read inner happiness) that u could never have had becoming a doctor/engineer. (unless u had become an architectural engineer...maybe u should have done that... To give ur parents the satisfaction of the title and u the satisfaction of ur desired field)

PS...sorry my phone has issues letting me make paragraphs, for some odd reason.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

And to answer ur question... If everything else was the same then I would go for the guy making more money yes. (in an arranged marriage)

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

What if it wasn't arranged?

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

An architect is also a professional. Its not the same as a fashion designer. In Karachi, you still need good grades to get into Dawood Engineering which offers architecture as well as other engineering disciplines. You should still be able to get a good rishta.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

Thanks. Maybe I should look more back home. How hard would it to find a female in her 30s willing to date a guy in his 20s with these qualities?

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Architects and fashion designers can make pretty good.

Wish i became a fashion designer and sold stuff in the bazaar forum, i’d be minting money. :rolleyes:

Docs and engineers can be over-rated and honestly, the more and more I meet those people, the more I feel like there are some serious personality issues. These folks, usually, have not held a real job until their education is finished, which is late 20’s , early 30’s. So their maturity level with respect to personal relationships can be hit or miss. Some of them are GREAT with their families, other men don’t have a clue on how to talk to a woman appropriately.

I’ve sat down with plenty of guy science geeks in my life, as a friend, and had dinner with these guys, and the level of immaturity that comes out when they start about girls - ridiculous. Guys that are well published, great jobs, intellects in their fields. And then they giggle about girls and make fun of them at dinner when they’re together.

Just sad.

I’d rather take the mature nice guy who doesn’t act like a douche when it comes to women, thanks.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

I don't want to generalise about people of different jobs or who have different degrees. I find some guys who are more science minded more logical thinkers but less flexible and yielding than creative types.
Artistic people are known to be more liberal minded, they don't see 2+2=4 maybe it could be 5. They are open to new views and see gray rather than black or white. They are also more comfortable around women. Downside they may be too liberal for a scientific type.
Since opposites attract i find myself being attracted to scientific people who have rigid, structured ideas. At the same time similarities of other artistic people also draw me to such girls.

Fashion designers are an interesting lot and there are a lot misconceptions. The male ones are a flamboyant and exuberant lot but definitely have noissues around females. I know of a friend who knows HSY and he is a cool, fun loving guy.

I think if my wife is secure in herself and in our relationship my job and our wealth status won't matter. If she works then she is probably more confident and less likely to be put off by her husband working frm home or being less ambitious. Both can easily complement each other.

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Re: Would you marry someone with a less profile job if you could choose someone bette

You know the geeky science guys ur talkin about Would've been the same whether they were in science majors or arts or business or IT. Atleast that's what I saw while I was at university. Some guys just didn't know how to talk to girls ( as in just not do anything special just don't be wierd, be normal and polite and know how to carry a conversation) and it had nothing to do with the field they were in. It didn't even have anything to do with exposure, it was just how thy were brought up. There were really nice and well mannered guys that didn't speak English well or hadn't had too much interaction with girls during schooling. My husband had studied in an all boys school all they way till he went to university in the US. And u couldn't really tell by the way he carried himself. He was Generally friendly but not creepy, he was courteous and an introvert yet not standoffish. And there were other guys who were really really friendly cracking (appropriate) jokes n stuff but still not creepy, so it's all about how u conduct urself.

And OP to answer ur question if it was a guy I liked and he was not an engineer/doctor I would still want to marry him. On a funny note one of the checklist stuff my husband ticked for me was that I was an engineer (and he liked/wanted that). And I too liked "engineer qualities" in him because technically we're sorta borin geeky ppl. (he's an engineer btw, different specialization than me though) We like watching documentaries on science, health and technology. He's good at figuring out how stuff works and how to fix things , Mcguyver stuff sorta (unrelated to his field but engineer kind problem solvin skills).He comes home discusses his work problems with me (ppl problems as well as technical issues) and he likes that I'm not completely stupid or uninterested about them. Now I have friends who would never want to be discussing stuff like that with their husbands, they find it boring and frankly too much technical detail puts them to sleep.

I asked my husband once how he decided that I was the one. (He had apparently been observing me for a while before he proposed, we had mutual friends so he used to be present in gatherings that I was in and I didn't know him personally, just hello hi). So we were at a casual dinner at someone's place (all students) and we were getting icecream out of the freezer to eat. Anyway it was in the tub/box and it was a vanilla chocolate flavour that was set in a check pattern. So if u looked at it it looked like a chess board in the box. And I said to my friends (both girls, one engineer and one non engineer) I wonder how they do this, to get the pattern. They both brushed me off and were like yeh whatever lets just eat the icecream. And i was still wondering so i started thinking aloud and said no cuz the icecream mixture is liquid and poured in and then frozen so how did they get the pattern. Anyway, that's when he knew lol! How geeky is that. So my point is it was my inherent personality that he liked (not specifically that I was getting an engineering degree). And I used to joke with him later that he wanted an engineer wife but he didnt know that I just have a degree in engineering and that I'm not really an engineer, there's a difference.

My friend (who's also an engineer) whos been looking for a rishta , had this one proposal who was doing a Phd and she was talking about it like that was a minus point for her! And I just couldn't comprehend that. I mean ofcourse if it's a guy who u wouldn't be compatible with otherwise that's fine but her bone of contention was the Phd was making the guy sound too dull and boring and uncle-ish and what not. And for me that wouldv been a plus point (my husband wants to do his phd sometime in the future and I am in complete support of that). So I think everyone's different (I dont have any friends that I can think of that would have a great preference for the qualities that my husband has) and everyone has their other half somewhere and ull find ur someone iA who will be looking for stuff that u have.