would you have kids ...

Lifestyle Relationships
1

.. if your parents want you to?! … be it your own or your in-laws? ..

Basically i think the decision should be totally yours and no other person has any right to butt into it… liken in our society where the couple lives with the hubby’s family in most situations, its been seen kay mother-in-law/mother/relatives been demanding about her/their son/nephew/niece’s lakht-e-jiggar … and its been accepted normally in families!!! .. i was like :eek: .. when i first heard about that from a frend of mine… n i was like… errrrr…blah blah blah .. anyway .. just want your opinion about that .. is it really acceptable???

2

I think it's your own business and your parents or your in laws shouldn't have a say in it. I would be pissed for sure. Parents had their turn to do anything when it was about their kids but when they are grand parents, I think they shouldn't interfere.

3

hmm

Aleezay my personal opinion on this issue is that children are a blessing from Allah swt and one should not employ methods to avoid children...

and when its the destined time then children will come...

nobody can either quicken or slow down this process...its not in human hands despite what ppl might think...

my two cents :-)

4

i do agree with you irem that children are blessings from Allah ... :-) .. all am saying for the people who have a choice ...... would you just have them to shut your relative's bad-mouthing .. or will take your own time?!? ...

5

Aleezay :slight_smile: i guess my point is k you can’t really “have” children when you want them…kyun k that’s from Allah swt…i dont believe in methods prevalent among couples these days to avoid children…so if one is not employing any such method then they dont have a control on the process and basically they will have children jab bhee Allah ki marzi ho gi..so the question of having them to shut their relatives etc or at their own will doesnt apply…coz the couple is just letting nature take its toll and they will have kids when Allah swt gives kids to them…

i hope im making some sense :smiley: :mudhosh:

6

I’m fully in accord with what you have said! :k:

Now when it’s your time, try explaining it to your parents/in-laws :stuck_out_tongue:

7

Irem : I got your point the first time... :-) .. but that doesnt mean people arent having choices?? right?!? .. wut i mean was If and only If they have a choice wut would they do then?!?!

and ofcourse you can only hav kids if Allah wants them to have... liken larki ... u cant live hundred miles apart and hav kids... do u get my drift ?!!?

Sadiyah : Your reply really reminded me of sumthing or rather sumone :-) ... but mayb next time phir kabhi ;-)

8

When I’ll have my own :blush:

9

[QUOTE]
Originally posted by Aleezay: *
**Irem* : I got your point the first time... :-) .. but that doesnt mean people arent having choices?? right?!? .. wut i mean was If and only If they have a choice wut would they do then?!?!

and ofcourse you can only hav kids if Allah wants them to have... liken larki ... u cant live hundred miles apart and hav kids... do u get my drift ?!!?

[/QUOTE]

yah true :D

in that case i think there should be a balance and both parties (parents and couple) should be considerate of each other's wishes and needs and reach some kind of compromise...in our society parents usually do wish to have grandkids real soon...

10

waisay i understand how utterly important it is for women to have a say in her affairs.........but if u r in case living with yr hubby and his family.....toa if e cudnt get u a separate house n life, then forget abt having a say over when to have kids also..........its all up to the saas.........she might be nice she migt be interfering, but ultimatelyu r at her disposal.......

11

u can have 3-4 kids in a minute coz his mommy says so and then hes allowed to dump you for someone whos body isnt screwed up by so many pregnancies :rolleyes:

12

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
hmm

Aleezay my personal opinion on this issue is that children are a blessing from Allah swt and one should not employ methods to avoid children...

and when its the destined time then children will come...

nobody can either quicken or slow down this process...its not in human hands despite what ppl might think...

my two cents :-)
[/QUOTE]

Doesn't make sense at all....you may end up having 15 then....plan for what you can deal with well.....

13

I really hate some aspects of our society, traditions, and customs :(…hopefully I’ll make sense to my both ammas, because usually saas or your own mom interferes.

14

To me....there is nothing me, my parents or his parents can do when I am suppose to have kids I am going to have them no matter what....so it doesnt really matter does it?

15

Even letting my hubby have a say in such a matter is something , the in laws are another issue altogether!

I mean possible future hubby.:o

16

okay do what i do..

sono sab ki, sab ki haan mein haan milao.. karo wohi jo apni marzi ho.

sab khush rehtay hai :smiley:

OR

( i never did this)
just tell its not ur fault.. its your husband :hehe:
this should shut them up :smiley:

17

Aleezay i totally agree with you what u said but its also the
pressure of the family so it's hard to make your own decision.
I know that when i was on holiday in Pakistan with my hubby,
and i dont have any child yet and they explaining me again and
again how important it is to havin a baby. They thinkin that i dont
want have a baby but that's not true.
I'm very glad that i dont live in Pk with my in laws.

Nilu.

18

I know of it but i think it should be the bearers decision entirely. At the end of the day mommy daddy ain't gonna have sleepless nights ( be it kids crying ) or the stress of having to figure out how you gonna feed them their next mouthful. Have them when you're ready..