there is this great guy, but due to some unfortunate reason he is divorced, and have a kid (maybe a couple of kids) who lives with him. would you marry that guy, and be a stepmother of his kids??
p.s. lets ignore the reason of his divorce, the whole point is that he you are going to be his second wife and a step mother.
and the same question if the guy is windowed?
i actually need this as a survey for something that i am doing. so please answer honestly
just to start, my answer would be that if he is really a great guy and as i mentioned above the reason of his divorce isn’t something that bothers me either, i think i would go for him.
*Edit,
i just want to add some more stuff.
so lets say a divorced guy who is also a father getting married again to a never-been-married-before-girl he has told the girl that his kid/kids lives with their mother and you will not be responsible for them. after couple of year of your happy marriage suddenly he tells you one day that that due to his ex-wife’s marriage/death these kids are going to come and life with you. what would be your response? would you leave him?
^ that is not a real situation, something i need to write a paper.
Re: would you agree to be someone's scond wife and a stepmother
Yanzala hmmm... i know of a family where the guy was divorced and had two kids- he married a single girl and that whole relationship severed the families- the girl whose first marriage it was , did not treat the boys nicely far from it- her and her family resented them but becos the guy had money , it was all that mattered to them.... they are both married and have children of their own but becos of the single wifes incapability to try and at least be civil to the boys and then of course her family supporting her- the boys from the first marriage have ostracised themselves from the father - not thru their own choice- thru the fact that the father was such a let down........my point is that its a very difficult situation and single girls need to think very seriously and carefully-ruining or coming in between a children/parent relationship I feel is really not on.....
only because if the girl has been married before then she doesn't expect too high from the second marriage, but if a never married-before girl is getting married to someone who has been married before then she have different expectation and stuff.
Re: would you agree to be someone's scond wife and a stepmother
I would if he is a great guy...and I wud not mind if his kids come and live with us...If I love someone then I have to love and accept him as it is...you can't put conditions on things where it concerns children.
Re: would you agree to be someone's scond wife and a stepmother
If i truly loved the guy, Then i wud also love his children jus the same too. I wudnt mind being a step mother to the kids. Kids are kids and it aint their fault whats happend. I aint married, And it wud be nice init a ready made family. I'm not botherd about having my own child, I've always thought about adoption instead as theres alot of children that havnt got a proper home.
So i wouldnt mind, as long as we loved each other. Doesnt matter. :)
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But it would be hard to like those kids if they call you MOMMY.
I think if they call you with your name then it would be NO PROBLEM AT ALL :D Kids are fine.
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I think that is a bit heartless,...if a child would call you mommy, that should grab you by the heartstrings, espcially a child that has been through so much..i mean imagine, firs they went through their parents' divorce, and then their mothers' death...and then they come t oyou looking for love and call you mommy, how can you not help but fall in love with the child?
If you love he man and he loves you and is committed to you, and then you ave this chance to make a difference in these childrens' lives, you can make their wole world turn around, and bring happiness and love in to their lives...imaine the "sawab" and good deeds you would get from Allah...and surely your husband will love you beyond anything, you would make a place in his heart so deep, he would love you even more.
Re: would you agree to be someone's scond wife and a stepmother
I would never do it, because at some point I would be unfair especially if I have kids with the guy and I wouldn't want to answer to Allah about that. Also it makes the kids have all sorts of complexes.
what i meant by ignoring that is maybe the reason of his divorce isn't something that concerns you. like he wasn't cheating his wife, maybe it was his wife who was cheating or something
i just didn't wanted people to get involve in the reason of divorce and not pay attention on the real issue which was being a second wife and a step mother.
Re: would you agree to be someone's scond wife and a stepmother
A divorced guy with kids should marry a dicvorced woman with kids / widow with kids. I would never marry a divorced guy with kids. I'm a very choosy person so this category would be totally out of the question.
