I think the decision is more complex then many of us tend to believe.
I agree
Because of what's happened to me, people think they are helping by coming up to me and saying - "You should adopt - so and so did and so and so did etc etc"
My gut reaction used to be - I can have children of my own - I've proved that.
Over time i found myself having more and mor eof these conversations and all the complexities start to come out:
- If I adopt, and go onto have a child of the opposite sex born naturally they will become ghair mehram for my adopted child.
- The adopted child will not be able to forego his/her fathers identity
- The adopted child doesn't have the same inheritance rights
You see, 'adopted' chldren and moh boleh children is a tradition and not necessarily adaptable to the islamic way of life.
There are so many people in our culture who say "Mereh beteh/beti jaisah/jaisi hai" BUT without the blood bond it's not right.