for a rishta who drinks? He says he will leave once married.He only drinks when he is in pain emotionally & this helps him from getting hurt. Other than this he is a responsible guy. Another thing is he gets really annoyed & irritated, likes to dictate, doesn't wanna listen & mostly agitated.
What do u say guys?
NO
considering someone who drinks is a personal preference, some would tolerate it, others wouldn’t.. no one can tell you whether or not to accept it
(NOT saying drinking alcohol is the same as in the halal/unhalal concept, but just giving an example) - it’s the same as considering someone who doesn’t pray/read Quran, doesnt hold the door open for anyone, or doesnt chew with his mouth closed.. etc. .. it’s a decision that is very personal in the sense that everyone has thier own standars on what they are looking for in a partner.. and who is to say this person continues drinking, or doesnt?
same with considering someone who does not drink, and the rishta is accepted.. later down in life, what if he develops a drinking habit.. then what? would you leave him? my point is, some habits can change with time so you can weigh your decisions carefully
me? I would care more about the being agitated and dicatating part of his personality. I dont like being controlled, and that is a sign of him having a controlling type of personality. not listening means he is stubborn, but to what extent?
let me give you another example of someone I know… she said she doesn’t care if her boyfriend lies to her. I was shocked when she said those words. I was like, what kind of a relationship would that be if honesty isnt involved? she said it isn’t a deal breaker for her. in her eyes (and her words) - if he is hiding something from her (ex, where he works), it’s okay, because he is “being a man” and is doing what a man needs to do. as long as he is okay, its okay that he lies. in other words - being a liar is a sign of masculinity which she likes
SO - with that being said, it all depends on what your standards are
I do not understand, OP.
Read your original post and zara khud soch kar bataao k have you listed even ONE single reason for marrying this guy?
Why does he need to get married in order to stop drinking? Marriage has nothing to do with drinking. The person who truly intends to stop a bad habit will make the effort to stop right away. The person who is not sincerely interested in changing themselves will find ways to delay or postpone that change. The person who is not truly interested in losing weight will say things like, "I will start my diet tomorrow but today I will eat that cake…no tomorrow…no the day after…no next week…no after Ramzan…no after this day, etc etc). The person who only halfheartedly wants to quit smoking will say, "I will quit tomorrow, but today I just really need a smoke…no tomorrow…no the day after…I will quit next week…no next month…no after my birthday…no after I get married, etc etc etc). . I know people who say things like, ?I will start praying when I grow a beard…or I will start praying or will start doing xyz or stop doing xyz when this and that happens.? My question is, ?Why not NOW?? A long time ago a guy once told me that he was apathetic about religion and that ?I will start praying when I get married. The religiousness of my wife will inspire me to pray.? Umm…what a bonga-tareen response that was from a guy who really prided himself in aala-tareen education yet his response reflect little common sense. Why do you need a wife in order to pray? Why do you need a wife in order to pray? Your wife won’t save you in the akhirat and she is irrelevant to your namaz. Why are you not inspired to do the right thing out of fear of Allah or even the fear that death could happen at any time.
This guy is not feeling a sense of urgency in changing his character to align it with what is expected of a Muslim…at least in regards to drinking. He may be better in other ways. But if drinking is something that you absolutely do not engage in and that is a deal-breaker for you…then let him go. Apart from that, a guy who is quick to anger or is moody is going to be difficult to live with. It’s better to get married later than to get married earlier or faster to the wrong guy. Zindagai bhar ronay se behtar hai k banda aik hi dafa achi tarha se ro le. Being single is not the worst thing in the world…your body is your own, your earnings are your own, your time is your own…enjoy these simple freedoms while you still have them cuz you will miss them later on when you do get hitched.
Habits can change at a later point, too. Someone can start drinking after marriage. But if a guy us showing you from the get-go that they have certain gabits that are deal-breakers for you…then you need to look at the present state because that should take precedence over his potential for the future. Granted that we ALL have habits that we need to work on, but the mentality behind that habit is important too. If someone openly acknowledges that they have a bad habit abd tells you that they are actively working on controlling it…that?s better than finding itrelevant excuses to delay/postpone the habit which only reflects a weakness of resolve. Just my two cents.
When someone is drunk they don?t know what they are doing and I?m sure that?s the reason drinking is haram.
I have witness few cases, few years back here in US one Spanish guy who was working in a good company got drunk and took his car way back to home he had an accident he survived but 2 people from other car died, and just few days back my co-worker got drunk he broke his glass table and started dancing on those glasse pieces, his roommate called police and they took him to hospital because his feet were bleeding.
the way you describe ‘other things’ about him, it seems alcohol is the least of your problems!
A simple answer to initial question is a Yes. But clearly looking at the other detail there is no simple answer but may be if you talk it out you’ll find the solution among yourselves
but the girl is in difficult situation, can’t take care of herself, her family kinda abandoned her/not willing to take her responsibility let alone finding someone & marrying her. She came across this proposal & guy is willing to involve families. Girl has told him about her situation now so he is aware & willing to marry. He is talking politely ever since the girl has told him about her issues & he is being supportive. Actually the girl is going for this in majbori & will take it as a compromise to save herself from future disasters which her family might bring her way. So this whole thing is a big compromise for her as she can’t work for some reason & can’t take care of herself. She wants to be out of this misery so she is overlooking his drinking problem which he says he left already.
not sure of the difficult situation with the girl ..
Since the Girl know that she is doing this in Majboori - does not give good vibers… she will get that torque a lot down the road that she did this knowingly
If possible she should do Sabar and does not take a wrong step in Majboori ( knowing it might not be fruitful for her )
On the Other Hand
If the Boy is really changing and becoming a good Person … Best of Luck … 
No chance. Aside from the things mentioned above. If the guy likes to dictate and gets annoyed what happens a day when he gets really drunk and angry? Will he be able to control his emotions or will his wife become a victim of his none self control?
It’s down to you at the end of the day. Someone drinking is a deal breaker for me.
Guy should quit alcohol.
Get married.
Couple should start Cannabis.
Trust me both will be hella happy and honest.
Someone promising to change their lifestyle after marriage (and that lifestyle being something you highly disapprove of) generally seems like a red flag.
[quote=““Dhoti Main Dhamaka””]
Guy should quit alcohol.
Get married.
Couple should start Cannabis.
Trust me both will be hella happy and honest.
[/quote]
Best advice Ive heard all day.
Where is @Cheegum ?
mujhe peene ka shoq nahi. Peeta hu gham bhulane ko.
Pehle pata karo bhai ko kis cheez ka gham hai. Purane ishq ka rog? Ya kuch aur
So this guy who was a religious fanatic blows himself up and kills 163 people in a wedding so was the problem his faith or is it because he was a bad person, same way the person who chooses to drink and drive the problem is the person. Most people in this culture drink, people like Bill and Melinda gates who will donate tens of billions of dollars. This amazing society is mostly created by people who drink, in my opinion rudeness is a major character flaw and responsible drinking isn’t. BTW I am guessing the guy who blew up the women and children did not have the character flaw of drinking.
lol…no he won’t leave.
Yo..whatever happend to people and their criteria to choose a partner? Red flags and still justifying as"responsible"??..i am not judging this chap..and by all means..he could be nicest being in the planet..but there is something called morals and how you deal with pain.
Takin drugs or drinking is definately not one of them. Second..big point is about getting annoyed and irritated easily. Well be assured that this shows lack of patience and he may hurt you or anyone emotionally coz..he will need to take anger on ya?
Anyway..it’s up to ya what you want in life…but this should be red flags for any normal sane person..
[quote=““Sheeda Pistol””]
Best advice Ive heard all day.
Where is @Cheegum ?
[/quote]
Bhai nay yaad kia 
No.. plz run