Re: would it make a dffierence to u ..
It “bothers” her b/c the amount of money her husband gives to the 25 year old brother does have effect on their finances b/c they’re not rich. She has no problem with her husband supporting his parents. But she’s not quite sure why a 25 year old grown man(who CHOSE not to get a college education) who is fully capable of working physically and mentally needs to be given money by his older brother while the 25 year old sits at home or just hangs out with his friends all day long. She would much prefer that money(the $ going to the brother) be put into their savings account or college fund for their own 3 children.
Of course in my friend’s case…she doesn’t “blame” anyone but herself. She realizes that she should’ve had more open discussions with her now husband regarding his views on finances and supporting family before she married him.
Do I think there is anything wrong with a man supporting his parents? No
Do I think there is anything wrong with a man supporting his siblings who are minors or are in school? No
Do I think there is anything wrong with a man supporting his adult siblings if the adult siblings is not able to work for some reason (disability, medical condition) or temporary support if they’re having a hard time (ie. being laid off) etc? No
I have two siblings who are currently in college. I give them money b/c they’re students and work very hard on their studies. Once they’re done with school, and they will hopefully gets jobs and be able to support themselves. And when that happens, I won’t send them money every month b/c at that time, they will be adults who are capable/willing to take care of themselvse.
But I personally would have a problem with my husband just routinely giving money to his ADULT siblings who choose not to get a job just because they’re lazy. No I don’t expect him to spend that money on me. I would rather that money go to our savings account, 401K, or go towards our children’s future college fund. Now if this makes me a “gold digger”(as mentioned by Mirch), then I guess I’m a gold digger. But that is how I feel.