" And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word." [17:23]
In this noble Quranic verse Allah has ordered mankind to worship only Him. He has joined with this command of only worshiping Him, the command of being dutiful to parents.
Similarly, He has joined being thankful to parents to being thankful to Him in another Quranic Verse.
It has been narrated in Sahih Bukhari on the authority of Abd Allah:
I asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) which deed is most beloved to Allah?
He said: The prayer at its stipulated times.
I said: Then what?
He said: Then (is) being dutiful to parents.
I said: Then what?
He said: Jihaad in the way of Allah
In this Hadith, the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) made clear that the deed most beloved to Allah after prayer is being dutiful to parents.
From being dutiful to parents is that one not put oneself in a position because of which ones parents are abused. Nor should one disrespect them. This is from the major sins and there is no disagreement among scholars regarding this.
It is mentioned in a Hadith in Sahih Muslim
On the authority of 'Umroo that the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
Abusing ones parents is from the major (sins).
They said: O Messenger of Allah, Does a man abuse his parents?
He said: Yes. A man abuses the father of (another) man, and the man (in return) abuses the father of the (first) man, and he abuses his mother, and he (in return) abuses his mother.
Being undutiful to parents includes opposing a permissible goal of the parents. Likewise, being dutiful to parents means obeying a permissible goal of the parents.
Thus, if a parent orders his or her child to do something which is not a sin in Islam, it is obligatory on the child to carry out the orders of his or her parent.
Some have said that if a parent orders his or her child to do something permissible (in Islam), then it becomes recommended to perform the act and if the parent orders his or her child to do something which is recommended (in Islam), then performing the act becomes a stressed recommendation (i.e. it becomes even more recommended to perform the act).
A man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said:
Who is most entitled from among mankind to my good companionship?
He said: Your mother.
He said: Then who?
He said: Your mother.
He said: Then who?
He said: Your mother
He said: Then who?
He said: Your father.
This Hadith is evidence that loving ones mother and showing concern (for her well being) should be three times of that one shows his or her father because the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) mentioned the mother three times and the father only once.
The mother is responsible for bearing the child in her womb, giving him birth, and feeding him. These are three stages which only the mother takes part in. The father does not take any part in any of these stages.
Being dutiful to parents does not depend on them being Muslims. Rather, if the parents are non Muslims, one must still be dutiful to them and behave nicely towards them.
From being dutiful to parents is that if they do not allow you to go on Jihaad, then you cannot go on Jihaad. This is when Jihaad is Fard Al-Kifayaah (communal obligation) and not when it is from Fard Al-'ayn (individual obligation).
It is also from among being dutiful to parents that one maintains relationships with those people who are loved by ones parents such as their friends.
This noble verse also makes clear that one should not show any sign of dissatisfaction or discontent, no matter how small it may be.
One needs to be humble before his parents and show them respect.
Source(s):
Tafsir Al-Qurtubi
Page 214 Volume 10