Hello everyone 
I wanted to see what you guys say about this.
My best friend is in the worse situation these days. So this is how it goes. About 3 years ago she got in a relationship with this guy over a social website( I’m not sure which one) they were in a relationship for 2 years but never met each other. They talked on phone and I think skyped too but then they broke up cuz of trust issues(that’s all I know) now her parents sent her to Pakistan to meet this one guy from her family and if she likes him then they can get engaged. She went to Pakistan in October and now she’s starting to like the guy her parents chose for her but 2 weeks ago she came across her ex somewhere over there because he’s also from the same city. Now he wants her to get back with him. He follows her and what not. She told me she has no feelings for him anymore but she’s confused too. She told her parents that she’s happy with everything and she’ll be getting engaged anytime soon(beginning of March). She’s worried that her ex can create problems. Her to-be feonce knows about the relationship but she didn’t tell him that she met him tho she’s planning to tell him( don’t know when) she’s so confused on how to handle this situation so if anyone particularly from Pakistan can help her out in this. It’ll be really helpful. Thanks.
Re: worse situation
help her out - how?
worse situation
I meant an advise
Re: worse situation
'why she met her ex again?
Assuming that the current guy doesn't flip out over her meeting the ex (after she is going with the current guy), its a very simple choice.
Her parents like the new guy, she likes the new guy, the new guy is known to them. Its really not a difficult decision.
Re: worse situation
Firstly she should come clean with her fiancée to be and assure him she has no feelings for the ex and that potentially he may stalk and bug her.
Secondly if after marriage she is not living in the same city or country it shouldn't be an issue.
worse situation
I think they jus saw each other unexpectedly and since then he's giving her hard times. She just doesn't want her ex to create any problems. Thank God she won't be living there afterwards :)
Re: worse situation
**"she got in a relationship with this guy over a social website( I'm not sure which one) they were in a relationship for 2 years but never met each other. "
**And this is where she went wrong....
Re: worse situation
Well shes happy with the new guy and he knows about her previous relationship soo whats the big issue? She just needs to ensure hubby to be knows of the situatiom and that she bumped into him and then they can go from there.
And besides, after getting married she wont really need to be staying in pakistan for long periods of time soo she easily lose contact with the ex.
She seems better off with the new guy too.
Re: worse situation
She should tell the new guy honestly.
Re: worse situation
Your friend eh?
Re: worse situation
she should get engaged and leave pakistan and try to get her fiance to the US asap..and try to stay as far away from anywhere where her ex might be...whether it be a shopping mall in pakistan or facebook. her ex cant follow/stalk her to the US. US citizenship and immigration services does a great job of that.
Re: worse situation
something is missing here.
she just bumped into her ex at some place and chit chat with him for few min or she actually had a planned meeting with?
how does he follow her? like he stays out of her house and follows her whenever she leaves the house or what .and how does he get to know about her whereabouts?
worse situation
I don't know everything cuz of her engagement preparations we barely get to talk but as far as I know they bumped into each other somewhere and he followed her to her house which she didn't know about. Her family didn't know about her relationship besides her sister so she can't discuss this with her family but I told her to tell her feonce and then go on from there. She just doesn't want anyone in the family to find out about her past relationship especially when she's moving into another phase of her life. Hopefully everything goes good for her.
Re: worse situation
Salam
May I suggest something.
She should be very strict with her ex and tell him to leave her alone and gather people around if he follows her.
She should not tell her new fiancé about such meeting.Big NO.
May Allah help her.
Re: worse situation
If ur friend is pussy footing around telling him off then it's her fault she's being stalked. If she told him off in stern words and he's a normal guy there's no way he'll be following her around especially if she's already engaged. If she's the sort k oh uski feelings hurt ho jaye gi and what not then she's setting herself up. She can mean business without using mean words. And if she makes excuses for not telling him off then I think she likes the attention and the idea that she's still in demand even if she's taken. Guys are not stupid they can these things and if he thinks there's a chance then he's just going to chipkofy till she'll be really worried he's going to mess up her marriage.
worse situation
Hopefully everything goes well for her.
Re: worse situation
Hopefully everything goes well for her.
Apart from following your friend to her home.....has he contacted her after that? Has he harassed her or told her that he will create problems for her? Several days have passed since you opened this thread. Has he been bothering her during this time?
Re: worse situation
Another wannabe situation maybe !!!
worse situation
I talked to her this morning but she was with her cousins so she couldn't talk properly. Tho she was really quiet and she's NEVER quiet. :(
worse situation
Just tell her move on and watever that internet guy does he ll stop doing it once she clear all this to him and yes when she wanna start a life with the new guy and happy with him she must clear her mind and assure her honesty to her fianceé.The rekationships are nothing everything is after marriage.If somebody claims he love and bla bla as i met a guy online last year we never met but i don't even wanna meet him although i know he is crazy for me but have to move on for good :) this is life and sometimes u have to make clear disicions.My suggestion is to tell her to keep herself busy and don't think about the ex because in this way she will always be stuck in this and this will disturb her life in many ways.Talk to her as in such times we need more and more friends :)