Re: Worried about my pre-teen daughter, please help.
I wouldn't overreact and have a confrontation with her over this. If she's being evasive, its obviously because these are very private thoughts, and you could do long term damage to the trust between yourself and your daughter if you come clean about reading her diary. Step back, take a deep breath, and understand its all very normal. The whole rape thing is probably because as someone here said its the most extreme drama she could think of in her head and since she's in love with JB, of course he's not going to save her from choking on a fry at Maccy D's, you know, he's gotta do something super heroic. It could have been a conversation she had with other friends in love with JB, could have been a movie she's seen or something on TV, whatever. I don't think this is a huge issue where she's been assaulted (God forbid) or where she's doing anything out of the ordinary. This is what pre-teens and teens do- they fall in love with pop stars and movie stars (it was always Mark Owen from Take That for me sigh lol). Also, they treasure their privacy entirely and above all else and the last thing she's going to want to do is discuss her own private fantasies with her MUM! shockhorror
I'd relax. It will blow over in its own time.
Re: Worried about my pre-teen daughter, please help.
Having gone to a girls' school and having interacted with administrators of other girls' schools, I just want to make you aware of the fact that SOMETIMES the threat of rape, etc is often used as a deterrent to keep girls in line. They are told stories about the (real) consequences of poor judgement that can involve drinking, having online relationships, meeting with strangers, etc. I know that warning them about these things is important BUT I also think that sometimes the threat of rape is so frequently mentioned it becomes oddly fetishized.
I obviously don't know if that is what is happening in your daughter's school, but I have been disturbed when witnessing it in my life, and perhaps that is why it is on her mind. You can ask her what she is writing about and take it from there. Or perhaps first you can speak to a trusted teacher/counselor at the school. BUT just make sure it's someone who has good judgment.
Re: Worried about my pre-teen daughter, please help.
I think the JB part is very normal and she'll outgrow it eventually. What teenage girl hasn't fantasized a famous hero???? That's pretty normal... The rapist boyfriend part would worry me too, but I'd talk it out with her if I were you. She's had her period and I think it's about time you talked to her about THINGS. Be open with her, and don't criticize.
I think you should ask her to show you what she's writing and let her know that if you have to choose between her privacy and her well being, your priority will always be her well being.