Working Womens Kids More Likely to be Sick or Poisoned

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Working Womens Kids More Likely to be Sick or Poisoned

:k:…:lajawab:

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Re: Working Womens Kids More Likely to be Sick or Poisoned

I am not anti Sahms. I am just stating what age kids should start school. And it is not all that how much time you spend with them at home but also how much time you give them for their school events. I have quite a few students whose moms dont work. Unfortunately, these are the mom who have never showed up at a single school event to support their child.

Again, I think it would be wrong clumping all SAHM in one group or all working moms in one group. It pretty much comes down to the individual.

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I disagree because here in this forum you are getting individual but desi perspective/experience.

The article/research states that the chances of accidents in children aged 7-17 are more for where mothers are working and I think it is probably because children this age go back home after school even if there is no one at home.

I am a working mother but I will not let my 7 year old come to an empty house after school while I work. I will find some way. Change job timings, get close to family or something.
I think most desi mothers will make some arrangement. You can call it a cultural difference. I am not saying western mothers are less concerned about their children but it is just how desi and western difference is.

Many if not all desi families or as many as I know either have the inlaws or parents living close by or sometimes living in the same home. The children go back to daada daadi or naana naani's home after school or they have some arrangement like that.

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Re: Working Womens Kids More Likely to be Sick or Poisoned

working women’s kids are also more likely to do better in life.

kids whose mothers worked when they were younger than 3 were later rated as higher-achieving by teachers and had fewer problems with depression and anxiety.

Read more: Working Moms’ Kids Turn Out Fine, 50 Years of Research Says | TIME.com

not a bad trade-off for a few extra runny-noses…

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Re: Working Womens Kids More Likely to be Sick or Poisoned

I wonder if having less problems with depression and anxiety can be attributed to the fact that having two working parents as opposed to one would mean higher income/better lifestyles. They would also be able to afford better educations/tutors etc., who would contribute to the higher grades and test scores.

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Re: Working Womens Kids More Likely to be Sick or Poisoned

I think few people would say that there is "no effect" to having a working mom. The question is whether the effect is something to be concerned about.

For now, I cannot imagine my daughter being with someone else while I'm away all day. But I'm not sure how much that's really about her. I also don't think I do anything special with her. I am not Tiger Mom. We sort of chillax and cuddle and play and sometimes I get some housework done. I do think the time she spends with me is important for her, but it's not because I am teaching her easily measureable skill sets (at 14 months she is very confident in social interactions with adults, tho timid about getting around; she does recognize several letters of the alphabet, complete songs, chat up a storm in both English and Urdu, etc -- but again I think that's her personality, not any special effort I've made). I think there is something to having your mother around you -- that stability and security that helps in a child's development. BUT I also think that there are things lost (independence to try new things yourself, socialization with children, a sense of productivity in a schedule, etc). I also think many women can really do it all working and taking care of children, but many cannot -- even when they are at home with the children all day.

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No matter what the argument be, mother's role can never be underestimated for younger kids.

The kid has high fever/or broke arm-resting at home and both parents have to be at work. If the child falls off and neither mother nor father is there to console the child, but some baby sitter or outsider....what's wrong with that picture?

Not saying it is the only argument, but one has to wonder, for the sake of her 'sanity' she wants to work and leave her child.

After work, both maybe tired and not necessarily give full attention to children.

Comment on article and thread:

Iconoclast bhai, nice pick. :)

NIH research cannot be applied to a lot of other populations and may not be authentic. Who knows which sample population they used. We only have abstract.

I guess, (not sure) it is based largely on independent families or where kids had no close relatives available.

All it means, for trivial reasons like 'her sanity' or ' trying to prove her abilities' a woman may not need to work.

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I know! Women and their trivial reasons for working...pffft.

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not again… :smack:

There are enough research to support either case. The internet is filled research *up the wazoo *with articles to prove both side of the cases.

Don’t you guys have anything positive to contribute…

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Agree.. It’s not as black + white as some ppl think.. (eg poverty levels obviously affect kids as well, if parents are struggling on one income isn’t it likely that could cause problems as well)

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Hai rabba. I guess whatever works for you is the best for your family. My mom was a working ma. We turned out fine. Secure and stable humans. I'm a stay home mommy and I think my kids are doing great in every aspect. Regarding the article, well, after 1st grade when your kid is in school from 8 to 3, their chances of getting a bug are pretty much the same as a kid that has to stay for 3 more hours in an after school daycare UNLESS the study shows that most bugs get transmitted between 3-6pm and most falls happen during that time as well.

Now if u consider emotional health of a child, yes I do know kids who wish they could go home to their moms instead of a daycare, but I bet there are kids who much rather be elsewhere. I think it's allbabout family dynamics, quality of time and depth of care.

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I have also seen the effects of having parents who literally don't work all their lives and live on hand outs from family and the government. And if push comes ton shove, I will happily bring up our children in a family where both work because I can think of worst cases.

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Some stay at home women will always something wrong with working women and vice versa. No answer is right, whatever works for the family is different to each family. As for the article..:no:

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Re: Working Womens Kids More Likely to be Sick or Poisoned

Lets say, even if my mother were the totally irresponsible type (which she was not) only her presence in the house had an enormous impact on my childhood days. No matter how much she were offered for a job, no amount of money can compensate for all that time that beautiful sincere smile on her face used to give energy to my spirit, all day, in such a delicate phase of my life. Even if she doesn't do anything at home, the freshness in her response to my questions/ problems wouldn't have been the same if she were to return from a job, tired, and in a hurry to take care of the household matters. Even when occasionally she used to visit some relative for a very short time, without her presence the home seemed to be a dark cold place without any warmth, no matter how many sincere relatives I had with me while she was away. Still, looking back to those days fills my heart with warmth of a mothers love whenever I face a difficult situation. Even a fathers love can't compensate that. If Allah (swt) gives me another chance to go back to my childhood days and choose whatever I like, I would still not want better food, furniture, facilities..etc. that is contributed by her salary, but MORE and MORE of the moments of "Maa'n ki t'handi chao'n" even if that means less facilities and ordinary food....etc. Her every single advice that I recall is more valuable to me than all the teachings of the rest of the people in my life.

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Omg, stop making us cry and all :(
I hope my kids feel the same passion for me when they grow up.

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that is true..

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Ummm...kids get sick when they start school regardless of their mothers being home or not. They're around other children and much more susceptible to viruses, germs, etc. Some parents send their children to school even when they know the child is sick and might be contagious and thats what gets others sick.

My niece started preschool and the month she started she got sick at least 5 times...my sister works part time from home.

Im not saying the research is wrong but I am saying there is more to the situation than this...much more. To take this and use it as a blanket statement would be foolish.

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Crime Master GoGo, it's not just as simple as just having nicer furniture and so on, an extra salary might mean the family can also afford to live in a better area with a lower crime rate, send their kids to better schools etc. (as well as not having the stress of wondering how they're going to pay the bills.. In London a couple with only one average salary coming would struggle to afford to live in even a normal middle-class area)..

Altho money wasn't really an issue my dad always encouraged my mum to work and she did for most of my childhood (part-time and full-time) and honestly I never once wondered where she was or felt neglected and I know my brother didn't either, tbh as we got older we were both proud of her for being independent.. The v.v.few times when we were little and there was an emergency (eg an accident at school) she would leave work or my dad would leave work and come so it wasn't a case of her having to juggle things on her own without any support from him..

(I know every kid is different and some feel more 'lost' without their mothers always around but imo once they've started school and if their mothers are there at the gates at the end of the day or waiting for them when they get home they'd prob not even notice anyway..)

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I think every child feels the same way about their own "Maa'n ki t'handi chao'n" and the time spent with their own mom whether they were working or not. just like you - I cherish every thing that mom taught me but I am especially proud of her work ethic and the impact her career had on the medical conditions for women living in rural areas in Pakistan. She taught us to be hardworking, brave, compasionate and positive. There is no price tag associated with that. A mother's warmth for her child doesn't diminish because she is working.

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its not just for working mothers. it basically applies to anyone who is taking care of the child. if its just the father and he is working then kids are likely to get neglected in his presence too cause of his busy working schedule. man and woman can perhaps decide that who should be working and who should be taking care of the kids (and perhaps doing an easy job where they can easily give time to their kids). but in the end love and attention is required from both sides.