What were the concrete ways you or working women you know took time off from work/re-arranged work schedules to be able to raise your kids? Did you drop the job totally for a few years then re-enter work-force? Did you go part-time? Were you able to go part-time in your work-field, or it wasn’t much of an option? Were your parents raising your kids? Did you have to hire nannies? Were old ladies brought over from Pakistan as paid maid labor to raise your kids?
Re: Working Women + Kids
I didn't work for the first 18 months of my sons life. Things got a little tough financially so I applied for a professional job.It's full time though. I found a dayhome close to home for my baby. I don't have any friends or family where I live so no help. My older sister works full time too but she has my mom living close by so she never had to worry about daycare. I don't have the option of going par time or work from home. I wish I did.
Re: Working Women + Kids
I stopped teaching to be at home to raise the kids, did home tutoring up until I just had my 3rd baby. My mum isn't well enough to look after them n I didn't want to leave them in daycare. My sister was lucky when she had her kids my mum w fit n well so she looked after them.
Inshallah I will go go back when my youngest starts school as teaching hours are quite good as I would be finishing around the same time as they will. Can't tutor from home now as the kids r always so noisey.
Re: Working Women + Kids
My sisters stayed home for a little while after they gave birth. Then they went back.
I will also go back.
One family I know actually has a baby sitter come in to take care of the 4 kids they have between 3 sisters at their parents' home. Mom just supervises but the sitters do all the work involved.
Re: Working Women + Kids
Are masjids providing any daycare services?
Re: Working Women + Kids
I don’t know any professional woman with a high-paying job that quit or went part-time after having a child. They all took the full amount available through FMLA under law and of course, maxed out their vacation/sick time. But once that was up, they all went back to work. I know 2 women right now that are on maternity leave.
Mom #1](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) : M.D. They bought a house a year ago that’s literally 2 blocks from her parents. After maternity leave, she will return to work full-time. Her mother will watch the baby 3 days/week and her MIL (who lives 30 minutes away) will come over and stay with them the other 2 days.
Mom #2](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=2) : Corporate attorney. They are currently looking for a nanny to watch the baby when she returns to work in February. Once the baby receives her 6-month vaccinations, she will go to day-care that’s a block away from mom’s law firm.
Re: Working Women + Kids
Are masjids providing any daycare services?
I haven't come across any masjids that offer daycare services.
They have Sunday schools, referrals for people who are doing this from their own homes, etc.
Re: Working Women + Kids
My sister went back to her work right after her maternity leave. she wanted to put my niece to a day care but her MIL & FIL did not want that and offered to take care of her while my sis was at work. My sister used to drop her off at her in-laws house and then would pick her up after work.
My friend left her job, after her baby,which required her to work full time and joined a consulting firm where she works certain number of hours per week. the time she is at work, she leaves the baby at her mom's place.
My male cousin in UK. they have one kid and no other family in the city they live. the wife is doing her phd in medicine where she needs to attend school till evening. my cousin stays at home taking care of the baby because they decided not to put her to day care. He is lucky in the sense that he has his own set-up there and that kind of allows him to manage work from home and go to office for few hours only.
there are other girls i know that have not left their full time jobs and either put their babies to day care or their family members take care of them.
Re: Working Women + Kids
I didn't leave my job and couldn't really afford to leave. Joined work precisely after 6 weeks.
I used to leave baby with my mom , in my opinion having your mother to look after the baby is the best possible option. Obviously it is not possible for everyone.
Re: Working Women + Kids
i've always wondered how 2 doctor households did it if family wasn't nearby. Do most hospitals have daycare services?
Re: Working Women + Kids
Grandparents.
Re: Working Women + Kids
i've always wondered how 2 doctor households did it if family wasn't nearby. Do most hospitals have daycare services?
I know a doctor that kept her kid in the hospital daycare although it depends on how many facilities a hospital is willing to provide its employees.
Re: Working Women + Kids
i've always wondered how 2 doctor households did it if family wasn't nearby. Do most hospitals have daycare services?
My aunt and uncle are both doctors in US with 4 kids. They have a full time gori nanny. The older two are super responsible as well and take care of the younger two.
Re: Working Women + Kids
I returned to work when my son was 12 months p/t (4 full days a week). My son was with his dadi 2 days and at private nursery 2 days, then when he was around 18th months I was made redundant, so I started a new full time job. My son then started going to nursery 3 days, and his dadi continues to come 2 days a week. The days he's in nursery I drop him off, and my husband picks him up. But if my husband is travelling for work, my work are flexible enough to let me finish early. Allhamdollilah it's working well for us, and I'm glad he's in nursery some of the time as its really helped bring out the best in him. If/when I have a second baby inshallah, I still plan on working after my mat leave ends, as I enjoy working. But due to the high cost of childcare, would probably consider hiring a nanny as it'll probably be more cost effective. Hopefully, dadi will still be on hand to help.
Re: Working Women + Kids
Our local masjid runs an Islamic school that has a daycare center as well.
1) friend one Pakistani cardiologist husband is Radiologist, had a nanny for a while, then stayed home for a while, now is back at work, says she did not become an intervention cardiologist because she wanted to maintain work life balance.
2) friend 2 Indian Muslim Pediatric intervention Cardiologist. Husband is in IT. After her second kid, husband is staying home while she works full time.
3) Indian Hindu friend called over in laws to take care of 4 year old daughter during residency and fellowship. They used daycare too. Husband worked in a different city and was an IT professional.
4) had other doctor friends who started residency with newborns with husbands working different or same full time careers with no family nearby. They used nannies / daycare. Some called family for a while too but not all.
Re: Working Women + Kids
I returned to work when my daughter turned a year recently. I am expecting our second and am planning to take mat leave again. My mom takes care of the baby while I am at work. I am only working for a few months before I am on mat leave again. I work for a brokerage firm but am planning to take a break of a few years now and go back to work once the kids go to school. It won't be worth it for me to put two kids in daycare and work. The cost would be too much anyway and right I'd prefer to remain at home. But then I'm not a specialist doctor or anything and raking in the cash.
Re: Working Women + Kids
What I would do is different from what you would do. There can't be one definitive normative way to do something.
Re: Working Women + Kids
I returned to work when my son was 12 months p/t (4 full days a week). My son was with his dadi 2 days and at private nursery 2 days, then when he was around 18th months I was made redundant, so I started a new full time job. My son then started going to nursery 3 days, and his dadi continues to come 2 days a week. The days he's in nursery I drop him off, and my husband picks him up. But if my husband is travelling for work, my work are flexible enough to let me finish early. Allhamdollilah it's working well for us, and I'm glad he's in nursery some of the time as its really helped bring out the best in him. If/when I have a second baby inshallah, I still plan on working after my mat leave ends, as I enjoy working. But due to the high cost of childcare, would probably consider hiring a nanny as it'll probably be more cost effective. Hopefully, dadi will still be on hand to help.
How old is he?
Re: Working Women + Kids
My mom was working before the birth of my elder sister. After her birth she stopped working for almost 4 years (I am talking early 70s) Once we (myself and sister) started going to school, she changed her career and did masters in education so she can start teaching. From then on she always worked in same school that we were going to even if that mean leaving the post of vice principal of very respected school and start as a teacher in another school just because we switched the school.
He logic was very simple. She always wanted to be home with us even though because of joint family system, she could have left our Aunts (chachi and phuppo) to take care of us and secondly, she always wanted to be aware of how we are doing in studies etc.
More recent example would be my begum. She was working before the birth of our first one. Stopped working after that except for couple of years when I was working from home. Now that both kids are Mashallah school going, begum is planning to go back to school to change her career.
Then I have a fried whose wife finished her degree while taking care of little kids and now she runs her own Accounting business from home office.
Re: Working Women + Kids
Since i live close by to my grandparents, they brought up my other siblings and I. 15 years later my other brother was born and my grandparents being considerably older and thus weaker are no longer able to look after him properly as they did with the others. So my mum took a year off for maternity and now just works part time/brother goes to nursery, until he's older to start proper school, then she will work full time again.