Working Mothers - Need your Help

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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How do you manage to leave your child at home for the whole day? Actually, I’ve just started my first job and now am worried about my 1 year old daughter. Although my mother is very much supportive and she really takes care of my daughter in my absence, apparently there is nothing to get worried about but being single parent, I have some fears regarding my child’s psychological development. That’s why whenever I come back to home I try not to leave my child even for a minute, I try to make her feel that she has my attention. I have to work for her so that I can give her a better life.

Kindly advise me what else am I supposed to do in the present situation?

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

OH Brother, not again.

Working mothers can’t even help their child when s/he is home alone or with a NANNY, you think they will help some looney tone guppy? Its for you to figure out, lady.

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

^ jaan leva that’s just pathetic.

DAMSEL - what are you worried about? any specific?

You need to set up routine/schedule for 1 year old and the caregiver. I believe it’s your mom right? Look at the milestones that your baby needs to meet developmentally and have your mom follow those things like reading, or playing. Mind you this doesn’t need to be done 24x7.

Like for eating time - can you mom put her in a high chair and have her eat baby snacks by herself.

It’s important for you and the care giver to be on the same page about the routine of the baby. Good luck - I know it’s not easy.

[TABLE]

Child’s Age

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Mastered Skills (most kids can do)

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Emerging Skills (half of kids can do)

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Advanced Skills (a few kids can do)

13 months
Uses two words skillfully (e.g., “hi” and “bye”)
Bends over and picks up an object
Enjoys gazing at his reflection
Holds out arm or leg to help you dress him
Combines words and gestures to make needs known
Rolls a ball back and forth

14 months
Eats with fingers
Empties containers of contents
Imitates others
Toddles well
Initiates games
Points to one body part when asked
Responds to instructions (e.g., “give me a kiss”)
Uses a spoon or fork
Matches lids with appropriate containers
Pushes and pulls toys while walking

15 months
Plays with ball
Uses three words regularly
Walks backward
Scribbles with a crayon
Runs
Adopts “no” as his favorite word
“Helps”](Development | BabyCenter) around the house
Puts his fingers to his mouth and says “shhh”

16 months
Turns the pages of a book
Has temper tantrums when frustrated
Becomes attached to a soft toy or other object
Discovers the joy of climbing
Stacks three blocks
Uses spoon or fork
Learns the correct way to use common objects (e.g., the telephone)
Takes off one piece of clothing by himself
Gets finicky about food
Switches from two naps to one

17 months
Uses six words regularly
Enjoys pretend games
Likes riding toys
Feeds doll
Speaks more clearly
Throws a ball underhand
Dances to music
Sorts toys by color, shape, or size
Kicks ball forward

18 months
Will “read” board books](How to raise a reader | BabyCenter) on his own
Scribbles well
Strings two words together in phrases
Brushes teeth with help
Stacks four blocks
Throws a ball overhand
Takes toys apart and puts them back together
Shows signs of toilet training readiness

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

[mod]The question was not directed at you. Nor are you adding anything with your negative responses. Please stay on topic or avoid posting.[/mod]

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

Damsel, what do you mean when you say psychological development?

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

I think you should look for part-time work or better, work from home. I have a friend who is a single parent and she works from home, she has an online cosmetic company.

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

I really rate working mums , you guys deserve an award for helping to manage financially and bringing up children. Don’t feel bad, as it will stress you out more. You are obviously trying to do your best , just try and spend the time that you guys do have in a happy positive way.

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

@Catskin - That’s not possible for everyone.

One thing I don’t get is, our mother’s raised us, why do we think they are incapable of raising our children?

It is also pretty normal in other cultures for grandparents to be the main carers.

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

^ theres nothing wrong wtih grandparents raising kids… is just with times we have changed and have become more aware of dangers and vary of people around our children… if u trust your mum, then dont stress about leaving your child with her :slight_smile:

I left my munchkin with mum for 6 months when i started full-time work.. she was 13 months at that time… and there is absolutely nothing wrong with her psycholigical development… but i think ur referring to the fact, that ur a single parent, and you’re worring about your child’s upbringing from that point of view? Well, there are a number of amazing single mums here who can give you awesome advise… :slight_smile:

as for working and raising a child… thats always a struggle. Moreso, with our innerself because of the constant guilt we feel for leaving our child behind… We need to make ourselves stronger and believe in ourselves in order to raise our children happily..

I really believe in quality of time rather than quantity.. I know with my munchkin, the 10 minutes i spend talking with her about her day, her school, things she likes… matters way more than a whole day at home with her, running around doing chores.

You’re doing an awesome job by going home and putting everything aside to spend the few hours left in the day, with your daughter :slight_smile: I am sure she will love you tremendously for it..

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

Well done working mamas! Hats off to you guys…hugs x

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

DAMSEL I am also a single parent and leave my daughter at home in my mother’s care. Your daughter will do just fine insha allah I think you are already doing all the things you can by giving her maximum of your time when you are at home. You need to work for your daughter’s and your better future and something in your life would require a compromise and an adjustment and leaving your child in other people’s care in one of the adjustment you would have to make.

My daughter is 28 months old Masha Allah and I am saying this not because I am her mother but because it’s true that she is a very happy & confident child I got this feedback from her going to be school as well. It’s because of how each of us at home give her attention and time.

You will also need to work with your mom and let her know what you want your child to know and how you want her to be raised . When you are at work try to maintain a contact at home talk with her on phone. If you have both saturday and sunday off spend both of these days to the maximum with your daughter.

It will be a difficult task for you but you will manage Insha Allah just have faith and keep yourself strong and yes IGNORE some ignorant people for your own sanity.

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

many working ladies leave their kids home with their parents or inlaws and those kids turn out good. Infact I see that their kids blossom more as they have hard working mothers who maintain balance at work / at home life and are contributing financially for their upbringing, which due to the high prices in pakistan is essentially important.

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

huh, trying to be “BLUNT” or trying to seek attention of other members? You have got a warning so now please stay away and try not to throw judgmental statements because this habit won’t make you highlighted anywhere. Here you have a freedom to share your views but it doesn’t mean that you are possessing the right to make the other people feel bad so better stay in your limits :slight_smile:

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

The fear is like

  • She doesn’t find me at home throughout the week and am afraid how would it affect her mind. What would she think? How would she react?

  • Is this the right decision (working/Job) at the right time or did you take this decision before the actual time. She is too young and needs my attention.

But the problem is that I need to stand somewhere in my life, so I can support my child and make her feel that she and her mother is not dependent on anyone. Though my parents are our strongest back and they are the blessing for both of us, May Allah bless them even my father was not in the favor of my job, he says all of his life is for me and my child but it’s his love.

My Daughter is 19 months old. Your post is very helpful. Thanks a bunch :slight_smile:

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

By “Psychological Development” I meant that wouldn’t it affect on her psychologically, I see children getting disturbed when they don’t get enough attention from their parents’ side. and being a single parent I am all she has, therefore, I am afraid how would she react. I want her to be a complete and happy girl.

and going out for job was not only my decision, I have full support from my family. Also They want me to go out and socialize as am not very social sort of a person.

I trust my mother, infact she takes care of her even more than me, I have no worries about my child’s upbringing, I am just concerned her reaction.

Waise Catskin it’s not a really bad idea :slight_smile: I will definitely think about it later, right now I can’t stay at home, if I start working at home then I know I won’t be able to concentrate on my work properly as I get easily stressed out because of small issues. I need some time to get stable.

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

Damsel, your daughter will be fine as long as YOU are fine in front of her. That means, do not act sad, depressed, cry, etc. Be a positive influence in her life. Take care of your own psychological issues (i.e. depression) so that it can never affect your child. It’s important for you to be healthy and happy in order for your child to develop without any issues. Don’t show your child that you are stressed out or unhappy … if you display these traits, this will have a huge impact on their psycholigical development.

Please do not show your child any of your stress or your own issues. Even if you spend a few hours with your child after work, they will be ok … at this age, they just need a lot of love and affection and it sounds like your mother is doing a wonderful job.

Take care of yourself first though … it is very important.

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Re: Working Mothers - Need your Help

Mehnaz is so right…along with many others in this thread.
How you approach your situation is going to rub off on your daughter so try to have a positive outlook.
The happier you are the better disposition she will have no matter who is looking after her.