Working ladies

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21

Re: Working ladies

I am this woman. I DO not want procreate. Ever.

Not because I hate them (really I don't) but just because I don't think I could deal with them. I reckon I would make a pretty naff mother. So really, i'm actually being pretty selfless in not wanting to have children.

For the greater good.

22

Re: Working ladies

It really makes me giddy when people out of the blue start rating people according to their own standards of normal and abnormal. I would rather consider such an attitude as abnormal. THhis is how simply we strangle people around us, giving verdicts on their does and donts. Abnormal.

P.S: there is nothing personal here, i had just a birds eye view of the topic, so i dont know who rates whom normal or abnormal. I just feel so turned off by such attitudes.

23

Re: Working ladies

mirage's post is gold.

24

Re: Working ladies

I don't think there is anything abnormal with it at all. Define normal. At one point, that is what I wanted. I wanted to be "free" to do whatever I wanted.
Not complaining though, after being married I can't imagine how I ever wanted to live alone. Its definately not as easy as being single but its worth all that trouble. For now I do not want kids although if there was a "oppsie" I would gladly have him or her. And I am sure once I do have kids I will wonder why I didn't want them before.

25

What about a woman who chooses not to have a baby, and uses contraception (no abortion), what about her? Is that abnormal? Isn't that a personal choice. For instance if I Know I would make a horrible mother, or do not want kids right now, and focus on career.....to each their own...nehi

26

Re: Working ladies

Actually most christian and some Muslim groups believe contraception to be wrong.

27

the real questoin is do such marriages work and life sustains?
and i think the answer must lie with the Husband.
Wat happens to "live happily ever after"
i dont think men actually like to see their position as head of the family faultering. He likes to be in control, pay bills and be the main source of income generation to the family and remains happy to have dependable members if any.
the alpha male in closed society like ours wud usually see working wife as competition rather than help.

28

Re: Working ladies

Hmmm interesting

29

Contraception = prevents a pregnancy. which I think is okay.
but abortion, which terminates a pregnancy, i dont' think it's okay. A person should practice responsibility, i.e., use contraception....

30

Bit in bold me too. I worry about it quite a bit tho my Mum says u just change once u become pregnant (she's never said 'don't worry, u won't be a crap mother' lol)

31

Re: Working ladies

Why is a woman who is only driven by her accomplishments abnormal?

There are thousands of people on GS who log on and off everyday...each one of them different and no two identical in every aspect...what makes anyone think their aspirations/dreams/pursuits/goals would be the same?

The idea is...what works for you may not work for me. You might like pecans but I dont. You might like rainy weather but I dont. You might like shrimp but I dont. You might like married life but I dont. You might want to be pregnant but I dont. You and I are not the same people...therefore it is not necessary we like or want the same things out of life.

It doesnt make anyone selfish if they have the above thought process...it makes them different...different does not equal bad. People forget about the various backgrounds, upbringings and even personalities we possess. What we consider the norm isnt always right or really the norm for another. Someone may have had an abusive childhood and isnt ready to be a parent because they have their own demons to fight. Someone may not be able to have children. Someone may be ambitious and has set high goals for themselves. Are these people abnormal? No.

If someone chooses not to have a family, I find that to be more responsible then someone who just walks into the role without thinking whether or not they can handle it.

Yes, children are a blessing. I hope to have my own someday and if Allah swt gives me enough...I want to adopt too Inshallah. But if my cousin/sister/friend doesnt want them...its all good. They still get an invitation to my Mediterranean dinner night coming up. :)

32

Agreed about the abortion bit, that's why I said (not abortion). Otherwise I think it's an individual choice that others shouldn't judge because we don't walk in their shoes. Also some people change with time & circumstances. I know I did. I was the type that would talk smack how I didnt want kids, I really didn't think I had it in me to be a good mother...etc.....but now my views are different. My son is my world, can't imagine life without him and just anticipating what my 2nd child will bring into my life.

33

I was addressing the part where people think that guys have it all great and its living free because they work. You have to deal with all kinds of people, all kinds of stresses, so it has its own challenges.

really free would mean you are really not dependant or answerable to anyone for anything,

34

Re: Working ladies

No I find nothing abnormal about a woman not wanting to have children. Some women are really career oriented and they'd like to keep their focus on that. They may feel that children will get in the way of their drive and aspirations which in many cases they do. Some women just want to live carefree...they can come and go as they please...and not feel like they are being tied down to anyone or anything.

It's a personal choice..... doesnt mean one is more or less normal then the other.