Working at a relationship

Re: Working at a relationship

Not true. At times, especially in desi marriages, there can be an unhealthy amount of interference from the guy's or girl's parents to the extent that the guy or girl might not be abusive or mean but they are so whipped by their parents, that they forget their obligations and duties towards their spouse. I've seen lots of marriages fail because of that. Like it or not, some parents can be insecure and selfish at times and will fail to put their child's happiness before their own insecurities.

Re: Working at a relationship

it can be worked out. Granted that it might require a lot of sacrifice from the party that is the victim of that abuse but its still can work out. I know cause i've seen that working out. Eventually husbands realizes that his side of the family is overly interfering and he would stand up for the rights of his wife.

Re: Working at a relationship

Yeah I am sure it can be worked out if the party is given a chance to sacrifice. I've seen plenty of cases where the guy has sent his wife to her parents' place and he refuses to speak to her because his parents demanded he do so. I've also seen cases where the girl leaves for her parents' place and refuses to come back or compromise because her parents think she deserves better. Also, it's not always the guy's family who is constantly interfering. Majority of cases do involve that but sometimes it's the girl's parents as well. In such circumstance, the 'sacrificing' party does want things to work out, but the other party just wants out.

I think it's rather immature to say divorces can be avoided. Sometimes they just can't and that's ok. Because if they really could have been avoided at all costs, Islam would have never given us this right. Also marriage is such a personal matter that you as an outsider have no idea what goes on behind those closed doors. So it's not right to make judgments about two people getting divorced.

Anyways, in our culture working at a relationship often involves working at many different relationships that come along with it and sometimes these external relationships can make your work towards the actual relationship seem meaningless.

Re: Working at a relationship

:k:

words of wisdom d6c,it’s true some don’t even care to keep the bond alive and of course not care about the other person while they’re at it. if the bond was that important then the person would do anything and improve themselves just to make keep the relationship alive

if it’s only one person out of the two that realizes this, what then?

Re: Working at a relationship

Exactly and that is exactly why divorces happen. One person just doesn’t give it their all. It takes two to make a marriage work but it takes only one to break it.