i want to work after marrige and my fiance doesnt have any problem with that…i would have to stay with my in laws…i want to ask for those ladies who worked after marrige and is living with in laws…i am always concern that will my mother in law talk behind like i just work and dont do house work (i am saying this because my elder jeetani was going to college after marrige and saasu ma always use to say she dont do house work but franky she use to do some work after coming from college)…and yea when you get your salary do you give some money to your mother in law..
Hmm, no you do NOT give your in-laws any of your money, it is not your job to do so. As far as going to school, it should be fine as long as you help out in doing whatever you can in your free time. If you were living on your own, you woul dbe managing studies plus housework, so you should pitch in a little. If she still talks, then ignore her, or break it down for her that you are busy during the week, and on weekends u can do major stuff or whatever.
why the hell would u give ur money to her?
Buying gifts or paying for dinner/etc when u guys go out is different, but handing your salary over to her, that's just stupid IMO. That's ur husbands job..not urz
No way should u be handing over any of ur wages to ur MIL, for anyone to expect that is twisted imo. I'm not living with inlaws after marriage but ppl I know who have done a lot of them had MIL making snide remarks about them not doing enough housework (even when husband's own brothers and sisters hardly lifted a finger to help around the house). Like Afro-Sheen just pitch in whenever u can. Do ur fair share but don't let them push u into cleaning up after the whole household.
i am asking this because once i was telling my MIL that i will work after marrige and than she said muje bhi kuch dai diya karna apnay salary se...and she was serious
^even if she said that much its utterly rude and mean and shows signs of kanjoosi and even possibility of making an issue of u going to work -
she has a son who can hand her money - your not obliged to give her anything frm what you make - unless its something that you want to give out of good faith -
if you want to work go ahead - i personally think your major concern would be your MILs' attitude towards you working and for that you might have to learn to do both housework and work-work! i know its hard and usually for those who know theyll live with in-laws, they'll spend a few mnths not working, checking out the mahol at home, making a place for themselves in their MIL/FIL's hearts and taking on a little responsibility - i find agar aap thora saa aage barh kar shuroo mein kaam karlo ge, its usually easier to get away with working later on cuz the parents will be assured that bahu ko kaam aata hai aur ye ghar sambhaal sakti hai - safeguard urself and if still they make an issue.. involve the hubby and let him handle it, khud se apni laraai larne mat nikal jaana... it might not be in ur best interest at that moment - goodluck!
^even if she said that much its utterly rude and mean and shows signs of kanjoosi and even possibility of making an issue of u going to work -
she has a son who can hand her money - your not obliged to give her anything frm what you make - unless its something that you want to give out of good faith -
if you want to work go ahead - i personally think your major concern would be your MILs' attitude towards you working and for that you might have to learn to do both housework and work-work! i know its hard and usually for those who know theyll live with in-laws, they'll spend a few mnths not working, checking out the mahol at home, making a place for themselves in their MIL/FIL's hearts and taking on a little responsibility - i find agar aap thora saa aage barh kar shuroo mein kaam karlo ge, its usually easier to get away with working later on cuz the parents will be assured that bahu ko kaam aata hai aur ye ghar sambhaal sakti hai - safeguard urself and if still they make an issue.. involve the hubby and let him handle it, khud se apni laraai larne mat nikal jaana... it might not be in ur best interest at that moment - goodluck!
thanks for the lovely advise....ofcourse i will also do some house work when i at home... but the only concern is that when my elder sister in law use to go to college after marrige than MIL always use to say that she doesnt do any house work but as long as i know she use to do house work alot because her college timing was (6 pm to 10 pm) so at day time she use to help sasu maa while my nand use to go to work and does no house work....so my concern is if she does start talking about me even when i do house work so what should i do...should i just agnore or what....i get angry easily and i also hate people talking behind so thats y i am to concern about this thing
i am asking this because once i was telling my MIL that i will work after marrige and than she said muje bhi kuch dai diya karna apnay salary se...and she was serious
Wow what a kameeni/behgairat aurat. sorry but it's true.
