To the ladies who said they wouldn't want to stop working at all can you please elaborate?
I understand if you really love your career but do you not feel that raising your kids is the most important thing one (man or woman) can do in life? Children, especially young ones, definitely need their mothers. If you feel you love your career that much, isn't it better to not have a child rather than a neglected one?
Re: Working After Marriage
^ thats a bit of an unfair statement to make, that the child of a working mother is a neglected child...Working mothers love their children just as much as SAHMs do....
Trust me...its quality over quantity....most working mothers are also working for their childrens futures...or to be an example that a woman can run a home and work as well..
Sorry I guess it was. I was talking more about the type of jobs that can, at times, require 50-60 hours a week. I guess this is still referring to that article I read about lawyers and CEO types quitting to stay at home. Those types of jobs are very high stress and require ridiculous hours; from men and women.
And I believe women already run the house :) . They just let men think that they're in charge.
Re: Working After Marriage
Maybe the career women here can clarify but I feel the working world isn't set up for women with families at all. I have read several articles that back up that point.
Another thing I have heard is that for a working woman, its much more important to build her career early on (when the children are younger) so that she have more flexibility and leeway when the children get older, which is when it will be more necessary for her to be around.
Re: Working After Marriage
Ghost... most women after having kids, who end up working, do cut down their hours after having kids. Most women who I work with, are part-time... and they leave on the dot at 5 if not more. I tend to leave a little late cus my daughter is in kinder only a few minutes away and so is the husband...
im not going to talk about my routine here... but i'll say this much that she aint a neglected child.
Our kids are definately important to us. Everyone has different ways of parenting... one rule does not apply to the whole
Re: Working After Marriage
if i have kids.. certainly i wont rok... but if he asks me to work i will prefere part time job...
but ya i wanna work after i get married....
Re: Working After Marriage
Mrs Saieen... aka Sara516, depends on teh field you're in. Most places I have worked in have been very accommodating to women with kids.
Re: Working After Marriage
Could be.....but I've also heard its much more accomodating in other countries than in the US.
Re: Working After Marriage
I was just trying to start a discussion. I'm not even thinking about marriage just thought the issue was interesting. The fact that the workplace is becoming more accommodating is a good thing. Society, and women themselves, expect more from women at home than men so it is very tough on them. Not saying it's fair but that's just how it is. Especially women in the West; if you go back to Pakistan every house has like a cook and a maid and you'll still see some women complaining :)
Re: Working After Marriage
Probably so. I am not sure about the US.. but i know a lot of working mothers here in Aus and we dont have it too bad. But then again, most of these girls are in IT... not sure of other industries
Re: Working After Marriage
Just did a quick search on Wikipedia…USA gives 0 weeks of paid maternity leave…as opposed to every other country..even Pakistan gives 12 weeks %100 percent paid…So i think that does say something about how accomodating the working world is to mothers here…compared to other countries.
I’m not a mother nor do I have a career, so whatever I know is hearsay and what I’ve read…hopefully someone with working experience can come here and post their experiences…
I was just trying to start a discussion. I'm not even thinking about marriage just thought the issue was interesting. The fact that the workplace is becoming more accommodating is a good thing. Society, and women themselves, expect more from women at home than men so it is very tough on them. Not saying it's fair but that's just how it is. Especially women in the West; if you go back to Pakistan every house has like a cook and a maid and you'll still see some women complaining :)
To be honest, we women will complain regardless. Even when i was at home on mat leave, i was complaining about stuff.... to be honest, I complain less whilst im working cus i am too tired to think about whats bothering me...
Like someone said above, I will work if I'm told not to or disallowed. A discussion and mutual decision might be more fruitful. lol. But no, really.
Re: Working After Marriage
I'd like to work after marriage. But I'd prefer to stay at home when my kids are young cuz it's important for their development. And then when they're older and more independent...I'd like to go back to work. I've even thought of possibly enrolling them in the same school that I teach in....the nice thing about the job is that you get several holidays and breaks. But plans can be subject to change....so who knows how things will turn out.
Re: Working After Marriage
I didn`t stop working after the baby(I had 14 months mat leave), I would have preferred part time, but the way my job was it had to be full-time.
I am not working right now because we moved to another country, and dont have work visa, otherwise would have done atleast part-time. I still help woth hubbys business. Having said all that the time that parents esp. mother spends with the child can not be replaced by anything else. I am planning to enroll in some post graduate program, and hopefully will start workig again IA one my son goes to school full time.
Honestly IMO if a woman has got a professional degree it is almost a responsibity to atleast use it for something related to that profesion, otherwise it is waste of time, energy and money. regardless of the fact that the husband earns well.
Me and hubby have both decided that once he is done with school and gets a decent job where he can make enough money to support our family I will be a stay at home mom and have our second baby. Ideally, I would like to be a housewife for atleast 5-6 years until my kids start going to school.
I'd like to work after marriage. But I'd prefer to stay at home when my kids are young cuz it's important for their development. And then when they're older and more independent...I'd like to go back to work. I've even thought of possibly enrolling them in the same school that I teach in....the nice thing about the job is that you get several holidays and breaks. But plans can be subject to change....so who knows how things will turn out.
Same here.. tho I could see myself possibly working from home, more as something to do than for the income..
Re: Working After Marriage
I am sorry, have you asked the man's permission if you are allowed to work? That should be the very first thing that should come to your mind.
Not after getting married but most prolly after having kids but even then it will be a mutual decision. May be he wants to have some time off or wants to start a business so I won't mind working then.
This question is for the ladies. Say you're married to a guy who brings in enough of a salary to provide the family with a middle class (or upper class) type of lifestyle. Would you then stay at home with the kids, at least while they were young? What if he asked you to?
yep i will cuz besides dunia there is also something important in our lives and that is our "deen". after working 9-5 (and even bring work to home) one gets frekking tired to pray all the namaz and Quran (which is in fact the main purpose of our lives).
i know people save their religion for fifties and sixties but i dont believe that Quran should be followed when you are almost on death bed. if you really wanna make a difference then start following it in your twenties.