A few weeks ago i had applied to a bunch of jobs to work from home.. one finally replied saying they are interested .. i want to try it and see if i can get it, lets say I do. The problem is, its less money, but im totally fine with that, as work from home jobs are extremely hard to come by. It will totally outweigh my commute 3+ hours dpent daily driving) and the fact that i can stay home with babies, and earn money, is what I want. Hubby wants it too.
BUT the problem is, hubby wants to wait until i am pregnant, and then start applying to see if i can switch to work from home and all that. I say, why not plan for it now, and then we dont have to worry about it later, and i am all set to do both. Taking care of my family, and working too.
He thinks its not worth it, where i am making more now, and we dont know when/how/if we even start a family. Which i totally get. But i like taking preventative measures now. But he disagrees.
And no, having fam take care of kids etc is NOT an option, so no need to think of that
In these modern times husbands aren’t supposed to tell wives what to do, it is their privilege to decide. My wife is a CMA and decided not to work after children. You are absolutely right that it is wonderful for moms to be with the babies. We have lost perspective and give a lot of priority to money.
Do you and your husband have a plan on when you two will start trying to have children? You’re not pregnant right now but what exactly is the hope? Are you two hoping to have a baby next year? In 2 years? 3 Years?
Also, what % is the pay cut you’ll be taking by quitting your job? 5%? 10? 25%? More?
but I want to work, and I don’t mind at all.. the issue here is when to start looking/applying. He thinks that when I do get pregnant, that’s when I should look.. because, lets say I am pregnant right, and I am not finding a job, I will be out of pay for however long it takes for me to get one (if I ever even do). I want to play it safe by securing that at-home job now, so I don’t have to worry about it when I have a baby on the way, and can quit my regular job now.
People should manage change, change can be stressful, new baby, new job, new schedule will drive you crazy. Get comfortable in the new job and new routine before baby comes. If you lose 10k in income that is only 7k in take home and you will save so much in transportation, travelling time, groceries that it wont be a financial loss. You have to be very disciplined as it is hard to get motivated at home and train your husband for his expectations as many men expect more if the wife is working from home. Lock yourself in the room.
If you’re planning to start getting pregnant starting in January (1.5 months), then take the home job right now. But if you’re planning to wait longer, then stay at your current job.
No matter what you decide, keep in mind that working from home with a baby is not easy (unless you have someone - family, nanny, daycare - to watch the baby during your work hours). Babies don’t understand schedules and it is incredibly difficult to manage work commitments around a baby’s needs. I gave up after attempting one single conference call with a howling baby in the background. Of course it depends on the nature of your job, but at most jobs it would be extremely unprofessional to tend to a baby while you are expected to be “at work”. It gets to a point where you just get frustrated because neither are you able to give time to your kid nor be very productive at your work. Despite being a mom myself, I would not be okay if a member of my team was working from home and looking after a baby at the same time on a daily basis.
However, your current commute does seem pretty bad and certainly will impact the time you will have with your kids in the future. If I was in your place, I would look for an opportunity closer to home that offers wfh flexibility. Obviously that would mean finding childcare options while you are away, but with a shorter commute, and hopefully by working out a schedule with your husband, you can minimize the number of hours you spend away from the baby.
Okay, working from home still means you actually have to WORK. It doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want at the pretense of WFH. People who abuse this ruin it for the ones who legitimately work from home but have a bad rep for it.