In order to assure the highest levels of quality
work and productivity from employees, it will be
our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give
employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of
S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You
will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially
skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T.
you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be
placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION
PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to
take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go
to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were
promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore,
and are full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested
in a job training others. We can add your name to
our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of
B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and
can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY
PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them
to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY
TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
Thank you,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)
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