Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
We need… = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want… = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk… = I need to complain
Sure…go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Am I fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you’re dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
In response to What’s wrong?:
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an idiot!
Scorpion King