Women–The lucky sex
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We got off the Titanic first.
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We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
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We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
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When we buy a vibrator it’s glamorous. When men buy a blowup doll, it’s pathetic.
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Our boyfriend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
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We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
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We can cry and get off speeding fines.
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We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
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Taxis stop for us.
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Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
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We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
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Free drinks, free dinners, free moving (you get the point?).
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We can hug our friend without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.
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We know the truth about whether size matters.
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New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
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We can sleep our way to the top.
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Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
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It’s possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.
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No fashion faux pas we make could rival Speedos.
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We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
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If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because we’re being emotionally neglected.
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If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
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We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her arse.
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If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
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If we’re dumb, some people will find it cute.
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We have an excuse to be a total b*** at least once a month.
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If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.
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Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
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There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
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Gay waiters don’t make us uncomfortable.
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We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
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We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
The censored version
