women letting themselves go

Lifestyle Relationships
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So, this is an inspiration from someone’s blog who thinks noone is going to read it, let alone comment on it..

why do women let themselves go once they have kids.. or once they get married? no.. dont want to get into the argument about the husband doing the same… we dont do things just cus someone else is being lazy or watever… life is too short, and we need to be accountable for our own actions.

Being married, shouldnt be the end of taking care of yourself.. just cus you’ve scored the guy, dont mean you’ve accomplished everything. Having said that, looking good, should be for yourself… not entirely for someone else.

And i know mothers have a really busy schedule, but really, how hard is it to take 10 minutes out of ur day and shower, and make yourself feel good? Having kids shouldnt be an excuse to let yourself go… even if you’ve put on weight, which can be lost, you can make yourself look outrageously gorgeous. The amount of times ive drooled over new mums (even if they have gained weight).. they just look super glowy and remarkable.

I promised myself that once I had the bubz, who aint a bubz anymore, that I was gonna make sure I took care of myself… and if I’ve ever stopped caring for even a little.. the hubz has made sure I do take out time for me…

So what if the guy aint doing anything… u take the first step and then make him feel bad.. hehehe.. kidding.

But seriously, being married… or having kids is no excuse for not putting urself as a priority… somewhere up in the top 5 priorities you may have anyways.

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Re: women letting themselves go

I'm all for women taking care of themselves, baby or no baby, but like with everything, no extreme is good....I used to see women who totally forgot about themselves and devoted themselves to their children...i hardly think thats the case now, unfortunately i do see examples of women taking it too far and being obsessed with their looks to the point of neglecting their children. Thankfully most of the women I see have a fine balance of it...

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Re: women letting themselves go

Sara, im talking abuot general housekeeping stuff. Not full on makeovers, pedicures and stuff every week.

Showering - (something I used to hear from mothers before having munchkin) how women cant even have a shower.. or dont shower for days. Even washing the face is not possible. This used to horrify me.. not that they didnt do this.. but more cus i didnt want to end up like that

Facial hair and other hair - can the hubz not take care of the kid for an hour or so? The hubz cant be that incompetent can he? A lot of us mothers, dont put enough trust in the hubby... they arent gonna kill your child! they may even do a better job at keeping them entertained than you

Point is, if ur not happy about yourself.. not content with being you and how things are... you're not gonna be able to do a good job taking care of someone else. The negative feelings will rub off... u'll have an unhappy child, unhappy hubby.. and more importantly.. a VERY unhappy you.

To keep sane... give yourself some 'ME' time

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I don't think it's the fact that having babies makes women let themselves go, but just the simple fact that it gets harder as you age to maintain the weight you were in your 20s and teens. This is then compounded with the fact that todays women are mostly working moms, who are exhausted by the time they come home and then need to feed their kids, clean their house, etc. Empathize that.

I didn't understand the concept either, until recently, when I hit my 20s. In my teens I could eat whatever i wanted and not gain weight, and funny thing was I didn't have much of an appetite then. Now I feel like I smell food and BAM! 1lb more...Basically I eat 1 meal a day in afternoon, and 1 hr of treadmill running to be at the weight I am rite now, which was the weight I was when i was a teenager. And that's after a full day of school. I am so exhausted by the end of the day, that only thing I have time for is to read, and sleep...And that's when I don';t have kids and a husband. Thank God Im on vacation rite now!!!

It's hard to stay slim in the West, where even smallest morsel is so calorie laden, and every single calories is absorbed, .And there's just not time in a day to the gym after you've worked all day.

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Re: women letting themselves go

^ dont buy that at all gulab jamun.

I work.. 5 days a week. I was working 3 days. Ive lost more weight working 5 days. Why? because I try to at least keep some kind of simple exercise in my daily routine. I dont have time to go the gym... so, instead I try to pack in a 20min quick walk after work. And to be honest, I am not super thin or anything like that. It's just healthy to do SOMETHING..

The other thing, if ur running around kids that much after work.. doing chores, cooking and all that... the weight comes off. Seriously it does. I have noticed though that I get more hungry now than I used to in my early and mid 20's.. but the amount of running around that is done, it doesnt stay on for too long.

It's not hard to stay slim at all in the west. There are so many options that will help you keep the weight off.

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a very important question - this is something that has hit me on a more personal level and got me wondering why does it happen?

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Re: women letting themselves go

if one looks at me then will know, i am a mum who has not let go of herself :meeno: mashallah

we had ppl who came to see my younger sister, wohi rishta wageira jo hota hai… my sis looks elder than me and has damn good height too

they said “ap humaen is ka rishta day daen (they meant mine)” then my mum went on saying “iski to 4 aur 3 saal ki do betiyaan haen”: cb:

:meeno:

:aisha:

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Re: women letting themselves go

Some people take more care of themselves after their marriage than before.. I think it is usually the happier ladies who have been given confidence about their looks from husbands..

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Re: women letting themselves go

Sadz, its not only time matter, sometimes its also .. females dont have the money .. if u cannot have the good creams, shampoos, hair cair, weekly facials, nail service, going to hairdresser, u cannot look good.

Not to forget, to look good u need good cloths/wardrobe and that cost a lot of money.

I have seen european females ... we have almost 2 years of maternaty leave, let themselve go .. wear the same jeans and 3-4 shirts .. the whole time and as soon as they start work, they look like the super models, business ladies again.

so a lot has to do wiht having the money.

now u cna say u can do ur facial wiht home things, but they dont give the results as professional ones.

my example, i use this really expensive hair shampoo and conditioner, unfortantely i am not using it at the moment and my hair look so bad, so one can think i have let myself go, but i dont care, as i am not working, i am not in a pressure to look good as long as my husband is happy with my messy frizzy hair.

and doing work at home, doesnt garantee weight loss, i am the best example, i am working and working at home, still i dont loose, the only way i loose if i go some diet.

of course looking good is great and u get more respect from outside but we should not say this is the only thing that matters.

one thing i forgat, health matters, how ever much money u have, if u dont have the health then no professional beauty care will make u look good. so health also matters.
if u have seen catherian zeta jones recent pics .. despite the professional help ... she looks like as she has let her self go why because we know that she is having stress with work and family. so many many factors for it.

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Re: women letting themselves go

^ summary: 'i have lots of money' ?

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Re: women letting themselves go

^ i think u missed my point completely.

I am not saying u ought to go out and get pedicures or by expensive stuff. Make do with the things you have at home... one can look equally sexy in trackies, as one may in some dress or pretty shilwar kameez... u can look hot in a simple shilwar kameez, regardless of how old it is, if only u feel that way on the inside and outside.

You dont need makeup to look hot and stunning.. just maintain urself.. i think that's basically what i am saying.

And, yes, ofcourse a good diet helps. Not dieting. A balanced diet will keep you healthy, happy and your weight stable.

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eh, did u even read what I wrote. I was writing in general, my observations, not about myself. I

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not really dear, I did not miss ur point.

you said why do females let themself go after having kids. And I say its a matter of money, health and time.

of course one can look good in a trackie, but if u have the good genes, which not all females have.

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Re: women letting themselves go

I agree with sadzz and also with saadia B. You do need money to motivate yourself, for example, I used to see all these lovely clothes in shops but I couldn't afford them so I stopped worrying about my figure and gained lots of weight in few years. Also, having 3 kids in 4 years and taking care of them made me so busy and tired to think about anything else.

In January 2010, I wanted a change, so I bought some sportswear and work out dvds, bought new make up and now I'm concentrating on my wardrobe. You know people don't treat you nicely if you don't look nice. And as Sadzz said, you should do it for yourself to gain self esteem and confidence.

I lost 20lbs in last 5 months btw.

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Yeah, thats what I am saying.

Good for you, now I need to motivate myself too.

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Re: women letting themselves go

^I started doing things which cost less like exercising and running and also taking care of skin with home made masks and ubtans, when you are back in shape and your skin starts glowing again then you can concentrate on shopping and spending money on other things.....my kids go to bed quite early so I get few hours to do my own things.

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Re: women letting themselves go

Me and my wife have both taken good care of ourselves. However, these days she wants me to get a bit out of shape because she is afraid that I may get unwanted attention.

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Re: women letting themselves go

^ that's a first.

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Re: women letting themselves go

I started sacrificing my TV time for ‘me’ + grooming time :hehe:
Sometimes even household chores (like cleaning, folding laundry, etc.) take a back seat since I like looking good for my husband and he totally appreciates it :smiley:

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Re: women letting themselves go

I have already mentally booked myself at the gym roughly few weeks after birth.....goona take it sowly, but am determined to be even slimmer than before wedding, before i was a uk size 12, 10 maybe sqeeeezed into, but theres no way il let myself go just because ive got married/kid.

secondly, i think its natural, people relax when secure/in love/stable. its normal.